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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is not ideal from your neighbour and the music again @Adge Hope you have managed to rest a little even if you can't sleep. I find it hard to rest with excessive noise as well so definitely feeling for you

It is no doubt going to be a long recovery for your B - such a terrible thing for him to go through. It is probably a really good thing that he is still sedated so he doesn't feel any pain - going to be a long road ahead for him - my thoughts are with you and him Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Bunniekins

Thanks @Zoe7

Late afternoon now & the boom boom speakers have finally gone off (temporarily).

Maybe I can finally rest.

I tried earlier & I couldn't, because the noise was too loud.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I feel for you @Adge especially with your headache - that is no environment to try to rest in but glad they have stopped their music for now. Hope you can finally get that rest in

Hi @Bunniekins Been missing our chats but I haven't been around as much either. Hugs to you Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Jelly cat got really friendly with my neighbour (visiting) @Zoe7 She rubbed against her leg, & hoped for food treats. She got some....

Every other time, Jelly has run away & hidden (usually under a bed).

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My previous cat used to do the same @Adge until she got a bit older and then she came out from under the bed when I had visitors a bit more. Cats are funny creatures - they usually either like or dislike someone instantly so your neighbour definitely must be one of the good ones. So nice you have that relationship with her

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wow @Adge He has been through so much. He must have a lot of strength to stay alive and keep going through that all. Sending love and hugs. It seems to always be the same people that all the bad things happen to. Hope he comes through it all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @cutiepiekitty Much appreciated.

Yes strength alright.

Not acknowledged (or recognised) by two of my brothers, who basically have contempt for C (& can't stand him).

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes cats are very particular (somewhat fussy) @Zoe7

Jelly cat usually will not let anyone but me get near her.

She hides from all strangers (or visitors).

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Meowmy Thanks.

No further news.

It's just tough that two of my brothers hold C in contempt (don't like him at all), have no compassion seemingly - they won't speak about it. I tried & they refused, & changed the subject.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge hey Adge, family tensions are so hard. We can only be open minded about them. Hope things work out. Think family dynamics change over time. May be not think too much about the conflicts . Just hope C gets better. Later on family events can be a bit more harmonious. Take care.

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