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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad you moved too @Former-Member It really seems like it has been great for you. Also glad the class is getting there - persistence does pay off.

I am heading off to bed - need an early night as I need to be at work early tomorrow. Goodnight Hon ...and goodnight to @cutiepiekitty too - lovely chatting to you tonight

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7

Reposting

Worked with a nice man then taught an exercise class at gym & another 2 ladies r joining my class .

I was relieved cause i thought gym might ax the class cause its very slow to take off cause its mostly for older women & theres loads less in gyms. But manager said its getting there we just have to keep persisting. So if theyre happy im happy. I was a bit worried end of last wk cause i just didnt know if itd pickup. Plays on my confidence even tho its got nothing to do with that rather just less in nos. Cause all the older women like it thats the main thing & r telling the manager.

So i felt confident enough then to take my class to a couple of retirement villages. They seemed interested also.

Also heard back from hall im hoping to rent. They said committee meet soon so hopefully after that i can hire the hall & get enough people to teach from there. Fingers crossed.

Its getting a bit easier to sell myself.

Ill just go out on the days i feel strong i think.

Thanks for asking.

Its funny i moved to here end march & im still wearing the same shorts & tshirt lol. No winter here. I like it here.

Glad i moved.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member

Glad you remain pleased withyour decision to change location.

Yesterday I was chatting to a viola player. Apparently if you have a good one to lead the section they hang on to them. Cos worth their weight ... If you have all that experience you know to listen to your intuition re your own music teacher. On you for wanting to hire hall and teach ... and running gym class ... what kind of class is it ... yoga ... pump ... tai chi ...

Your music story about your mother is very sad. I dont know why it happens but it is not that unusual as something similarly very weird was going on with my mother ... the opposite and the same ... pushed me into years of neck pain ... due to over practise ... horrendous for me ... but one beautiful thing about music is that it has its own logic and can carry you along with it ...

@cutiepiekitty @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Angels333 @Bunniekins @eth @outlander

Best wishes for your night and tomorrow.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom

Ive designed a workout using resistance bands for strengthening. I do it to 50' 60's music. Its very similar to what i was doing with bodybuilding just with bands now.

My mother was a very unhappy woman that was very jealous of me cause i had talent & was very self motivated. She was very victorian also whereby girls werent important rather the focus was on my 4 bros. No matter how many medals etc i got i simply couldnt gain her approval because she was the unhappy one. Took me yrs to figure it out.

When i returned to music as an adult i really struggled because i used to hear her voice really loud in my head putting me down. Took quite a long time for it to leave me.

When my son was young everyone assumed id get him doing music. I tried him on keyboard. He picked it up really quickly but i could tell he had no interest in it & so i didnt push him. I wanted him to find his own direction in life.

Hes grown up hearing me sing. A few times when he was young & i was struggling he would say mum u need to sing again. I made a vow id never have a child til i found what made me happy because i didnt want to b unhappy like my mother & take it out on my child. When he was crawling i was writing the collection of baby songs for my 3rd cd. Later when he was in primary sch id take hjm to retirement villages where i sang. Now hes seeing & hearing me in my room prac piano. Oh hes also seen me ex or go to gym since he was young too. Im hoping that ive shown him the importance of doing what makes u happy. We have the basics but hes grown up poor but happy.

I like the piano as its mentally stimulating. Just trying to prac more in am as im more tired later in the day.

Im using the alfred adventurers & bastien books. All 3 r excellently put together. Only been going for 3mnths so got a long way to go. I used to get obsessed with prac but these days im able to b kinder & listen to my intuition that says its ok to not prac today.

Its a matter of enjoying it rather than it becoming a chore.

I seem to need discipline structure & routines in my life or i feel very lost & stressed out.

Possibly why the move tipped me over the edge cause i lost my routine.

Im lucky my new apartment has a huge bedroom so ive got plenty of room for a keyboard in here.

I do my exercise & singing training in here too its so big.

I was a naughty viola player. I was lead in 2 orchestras. I used to have to do a solo to demonstrate the. Well i thought this is boring no1 can relate to a harmony line without a melody line so i got a violin piece of music & transposed it. So when it was my time to demonstrate the instrument theyd hear a viola play the melody. The conductors face ill never forget it. Lol. It worked so he let me continue.

I was just that kind of kid that needed to go her own direction & excel.

Its very sad i gave up due to lack of support & understanding as i was very naturally talented but hey im 55 & doing what i want now without my mother trying to stop me for the first time in my life.

So whilst ive got a clear run im going for it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @cutiepiekitty @Former-Member @Angels333 @saturnzoon @TAB @CheerBear @outlander @Shaz51 @Teej @Faith-and-Hope @frog @Former-Member @Former-Member @s-jay @Doglover @MDT @Adge @Gazza75 @Bunniekins and anyone else reading this.

Hope today is nice to you all.

I have a busy one with a support worker taking me to water tai chi and then later to another live reading at the art gallery in town. I've written a new story in response to one of the art works in the latest exhibition. This time there are prizes so I'm hoping for that recognition, but if not it's still really good for my self-esteem to be reading my work to a gathering of other writers. Then tonight there's an anti-fracking the NT movie nearby which I may make it to, but more likely I'll just have a quiet evening finishing my preparation for my trip.

I leave tomorrow and have already changed my settings here so I won't see any notifications of tags etc until at least the 14th.

So I would love it if any of you see someone tagging me you could let them know I'm away - thanks in advance.

Hoping the next 2 weeks have lots of highlights for you all and knowing you will all support each other beautifully.

Take care, I'll be thinking of you. Eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

enjoy your time away @eth take care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have a lovely day @eth .

Enjoy your trip away and take care. 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Gazza75 hope todays a good one for you 🙂

hope your day at uni goes well @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Thats amazing with the live reading. Such an wonderful experience. & brave too im scared with public reading.

All the besr with it.

Noted ur away, enjoy ur time away

Looking forward to ur return

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @outlander , likewise for you 🙂

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