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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That was an early night for you @Shaz51 but hoped it helped both you and Mr. Shaz. How is he today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

mr sha is a whole lot better today my sister @Zoe7

and today we finished work at 2-30 pm which is soo good for both of us xxx

came home to relax , ahhhhhhhhh

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is great @Shaz51 Put your feet up my sister and enjoy the calm while you can

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 and @Shaz51 hope you're both having a peaceful evening.

Hi @saturnzoon I totally agree with others here - you need to get another account set up for your DSP to go into so your sons can't access it at all. What they are doing is a form of abuse in my opinion. I understand about it being hard to stand up to them, but getting a new account is the best way forward. They have no right to put you in this position time and again. I went through hell with my kid for a couple of years and had to take a legal path in the end, tho' I continued to live with them for another year and a half. It was tense a lot of the time, but once a magistrate told them to stop or they'd have a criminal record it changed their behaviour somewhat. You have a right to peaceful enjoyment of your home and financial security. Perhaps there is a womens centre or such where you could get advice and support to take the necessary steps. Feeling strongly for you at this time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just getting dinner organised and being on here @eth Had a great day at work and feeling much better today than yesterday and last night.

How has your day been?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 lovely to hear today has gone really well for you. My day was a better one too. Had 2 supports today - morning and afternoon. Went to the shops then the local beach in the morning. It was howling a gale so we couldn't do the walk I had planned and ended up driving south around the coast and sitting in the car having lunch at a beautiful spot I haven't been to since moving to live here. So that was pretty nice. Then this afternoon went to water tai chi in the heated pool and had almost 1 1/2 hour work out there. So feeling pretty physically tired but more at peace than I've been for a couple of days this week. Hoping I'll sleep better as a result.

How's your weekend looking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a wonderful day despite not being able to get to the beach @eth I have been flat out all day too and hope I will sleep better tonight too.

Got a lot of planning and finishing of the kids pompoms to do before Monday so will be pretty flat out - but it is worth it. Really loving this class - think despite all that we had to do today that I laughed so much it hurt lol Kids are wonderful to make your day better and today that was certainy the case.

Do you have much on this weekend or can you relax a bit?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 loving the image of you laughing so hard - really nice to hear. I have 3 days at home and plan to catch up on a few things. Just going to watch telly for a while now. Hope you rest well tonight and wake refreshed tomorrow. xoxo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you do too @eth and hope you can catch up on those things you need to over the next few days. I know I will be flat out with the things I need to do but that is also part of the job - so much to do after the school day finishes but worth it to be organised - then I can give more time to the kids during the week.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 . I just turned 50.

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