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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth ,

I dont know that I can hold out even the 7-10 days Eth. My symptoms are getting worse, I'm in a really bad way. But I don't think they are going to be able to get me any better in hospital either so I'm really in a no win situation. I have considered biting the bullet and going public becasue I'm really not doing too well, but like I said, I really don't think that are going to be able to help me get better - private or public. Because I beleieve the ingredients in the medications are causing my symptoms and thats why I keep getting worse, but of course the medical profression don;t believe me. They were talking about a medication wash out which, as much as I'm petrified of, I would like to do because I think all these drugs are screwing with me. I was never like this before going on all these medications. Anyway, I'm really really scared Eth and feeling very alone and just don;t know what to do.

You are very blessed to have your brother ans sil support you like that, wow, that really is something. So many people on here don;t have family for support, you are really blessed.

I hpe you are doing well Eth. Take care. xxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Angels333 My little one is Cutiepie. I gave up trying to sleep after about an hour and am so tired. I took some really crappy stuff to the laundromat to put through the heavy machine so I was doing something. The owners are really nice but not usually there on the weekend. They came in for no real reason so talking with her helped me a bit. I think it was something said about acceptance and surviving or something like that someone said that got me going. I don't really know. But I am still here.

I know what you mean about not knowing if you feel better. I get that really well.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope . That is the first time that anyone has actually said that to me! I am sure that everyone here knows what it is like to feel so isolated and alone. And these were people I never thought would understand at all. That physical touch can make so much of a difference.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You’re not wrong @cutiepiekitty . I get a neck and shoulder massage sometimes for de-stress reasons, and it’s the physical touch as much as the muscle tension release .... I am paying for someone to provide that care, but at least it’s care.

I felt like I was walking into walls for a few years before I found the forums, because the changes that were happening in our home and relationships were so weird and dramatic and ongoing that I couldn’t get help because nobody would believe it was happening, or understood, or even wanted to understand. Finding the forums made such a huge difference. Here people do understand, and they listen, and they care about what is happening for you.

To find that available to you in your church too is so special. So pleased for you ❣️ It does break down the isolation.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes @Faith-and-Hope . I have to get massage to cope with migraines caused by the stress and the pain of artritis or I am so tight and sore and stiff that I cannot move at all. Everything is so expensive when you are on disability and have noone to help you. Luckily I managed to get NDIS to agree that I need the massage to have some chance of doing anything. It is only every 4-6 weeks that I can get to them, but it does help. I am sure (and often bruised) for a day or two after because they have to work so hard to release things. I want to be able to go and meet people, but I am too scared to and I don't know how. That may sound weird to some people, but when you grow up without seeing or knowing these things you just don't know how. And it is not something you can just go and ask without feeling (and sometimes looking) like a fool. There are so mnay things that just come as normal to so many people, but to me they are a total mystery. I asked someone something one day and they looked at me strange and said that "you don't go and learn that, you pick it up growing up". So that told me that I have to try and work out how to do things myself because you cannot learn life.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am sorry that person answered you that way @cutiepiekitty, because the best way to learn something is to ask questions, and copying what other people do is another way (called role-modelling).

One way to meet people is to keep going back to the same place, like sitting in a park, or in the same coffee shop for a cup of tea once a week, or in the library.

Another way is to join some sort of class or hobby group. Do you have a community centre local to you anywhere ? Sometimes they have feee programs - libraries might too - or low cost craft days, etc. Is a walking group an option for you ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope walking is not an option for me. When I was last assessed they put me at a maximum of about 50m before it affects me too much. I use a gopher. And the library is not an option currently either. A few of us are trying to get the council to change their recent policy of banning all gophers because they want to use the space needed for other things. I have equal opportunities looking into it and trying to get them to do something but the council keeps coming up with excuses why they need more time. There are only a few groups in town (I live in the country) and the groups that are here are pretty much either a little click of invited people or cost too much. And please don't be like so many others and say I should just move. I can't afford to and the few supports I have are here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I wouldn’t suggest you move @cutiepiekitty. Your home is your home, and the idea of moving needs to be something you want for yourself. I have recently (over a year ago now) had to move in support of a couple of my kids, one in particular, and it did remove me from all my support people, family and friends, even though it is progressively solving some other issues, it was very hard to size up to, and life in the country, for country-hearted people, is in their heart, despite the social restrictions that can come with that as you have there.

I am so sorry to hear about the library situation. Good for you guys joining forces to try to get it dealt with. Good luck with it all ..... I hope you win and they find other ways to accommodate the space they need.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Bunniekins @cutiepiekitty @Angels333 @eudemonism @Former-Member @Feldspar @Doglover @Meowmy @Queenie and anyone else here today.

@Doglover feeling for you. It does sound like your symptoms have not abated for quite some time now, and even getting worse. If you did go public while wating for a private bed at the least they would keep you safe, cook for you, give you a respite from the pressures of daily life. And perhaps start the weaning off the meds that you say you think are causing a lot of what you're experiencing. It's definitely better to go in voluntarily than to get to the point where it happens involuntarily. This is just my personal opinion based on previous experience. Hopefully you are reaching out e.g. to a helpline to talk to someone live as candidly as possible, to your psychologist and psychiatrist in your offline life - and that you hear better news today. Just that I hear you, I get it, and it seems to me things couldn't really be worse once in hospital than they are while you wait, and there's a good chance they will improve. Keep on reaching out here lovely. I'm concerned about you and you matter to me. You are not alone here, there are quite a few of us walking with you. I hope you don't mind what I've said, I care a lot.

I had absolutely no support for lots of years in a few periods of my life, the most recent being 16 years long before I moved interstate to be closer to family. Reconciling with them and letting them know what I was going through took a lot of effort on all sides. I was completely isolated and went to hospital quite a few times over the years. I do feel lucky to be where I am now, but I know what it's like to be completely alone.

@cutiepiekitty what a scary experience that must have been. Great that those people helped you get through it. Hope you had a good rest afterwards.

Hope today has some good bits in it and that goals are achieved.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope Good morning and a Hap-pea Monday to all the Long Ravers @eth @Mazarita @cutiepiekitty @Doglover @Zoe7 @Faith-andHope @Angels333 @eudemonism @Pilgrim @Feldspar @Doglover @Meowmy @Queenie @Adge @Appleblossom @Sophia1 @Exoplanet @CheerBear and all those who pass by have a fabulous day lots of love greenpeax

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