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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is super lovely to hear @Bunniekins You have a great afternoon too little pea

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Afternoon @Zoe7 I hope you get all the marking done this afternoon.

I'm having an easy day, I'm about to have a nap before I go grocery shopping this afternoon.

Angels333

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for this. Had a bad morning,. Went to church and just lost it. The whole place felt like it was closing in and I just walked out into the corridor and fell in a heap on a chair. No reason. Someone came along and I only knew they were there because I felt them patting my back just saying to breathe. When I got to the stage where I could see it was one of the ladies that is actually a nuse. She just stayed with me until I could get it together a bit which was great. Someone else moved and sat bed=side me when I went back in and she just said "I've been there". That's all. I think I must have nearly broken her hand squeezing it. Kept me grounded though. I made it through. Then someone else just came up and hugged me and said they understand. Do they understand what I am going through? Maybe. Sat there just scribbling. Most of it is nearly 5 pages saying breathe. But I got there. I think maybe they do know. Why else would she say she has been there too if she did not know that was what I needed? So exhausted now. Going to just put on some music and go to sleep. Have to have something like music to keep my mind from spiralling. Can listen to the words and calm down., I made it. My kitten has come to curl up with me so I am going to just have a sleep for a couple of hours if I can. I need it. Thanks all for being here and being a support where I am sure I am understood and not be told to just get over it or stop being stupid. ztoo many people think that is the way to deal with everything. But 3 people this morning giving me the grounding and being able to say they have been here is great. Did not know any of them could ever understand. Have not had a lot to do with them before, but maybe they too are not able to come out and ask.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Angels333 Was having a nap myself this afternoon when my sister turned up with her dog - so we watched him play for a while and laughed a lot at his antics. he usually takes all of Toby's toys out of the toy basket when he is here and today was no exception lol Cleaned them all up now and going to settle in to watch the footy.

Hope you getn all your shopping done and have had a restful nap

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Thanks

Eude

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eudemonism @Zoe7 @Angels333 @eth @Bunniekins @Former-Member .💕

Hi and welcome to the forums @cutiepiekitty and @Feldspar 👋

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope Hi Faith-and-Hope!:Dxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@cutiepiekitty hi I'm Angels333, I am sorry you had such a tough morning, but glad there were people to help. Do you know what triggered you? And how are you this evening did you manage to sleep?

I managed to get a nap in this afternoon I don't know if I feel much better, but time has passed.

Anyway I hope you're feeling better, what's your kitties name?

Blessings Angels333

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It’s so validating to find other people have shared something of your experiences @cutiepiekitty and have an understanding from the inside out. People showing empathy to others differs in many ways, and it can be so supportive and surprising to come across it in unexpected places and ways.

My kids joke about me having flowers, rainbows and unicorns in my care-style ... but sometimes what you need is a hand on your back, and a just sitting beside you, saying gently, “I’ve been where you are”. I am so glad it came to you that way today.

Here’s a 💐🌈🦄 from me too .... I am glad you’re feeling a bit better.

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