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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Been feeling a bit low the last couple days, hopefully it's just that time of the month. So just taking it easy today. How about you?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello there @saturnzoon 😊

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi there @Bunniekins hope you have a peaceful Thursday! 😊

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins @Former-Member @saturnzoon @eth @Zoe7 @outlander @Doglover and everyone else reading along! I hope you're all having an awesome day!

I'm still struggling with SH it's just been these last 3 days where the wheels have fallen off. I want to use the helplines but my kids need me to be present so it's all a bit out of control. I know I'm a drag at the moment on the forum, taking more than I can give.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You are definitely not a drag here Hon - you need the support and we are more than happy to give it to you @Angels333 Often we feel like we are letting people down or taking more than we give when we are not doing well - but that is what the forum is here for You need and deserve that support right now so do not feel like you are not giving enough - that is not at all needed right now - what is needed is for you to be able to reach out and ask for help yourself - that takes courage Hon. Take that support now and give back when you are in a better place to do so - that is all anyone can ask

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Angels333 I totally support what @Zoe7 just said. It's healthy to reach out when you need support - sending you some right now.

@Former-Member @saturnzoon just a quiet day at home for me too today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

A quiet day here for me too. Not up for much and need to go with the flow today as a result. Haven't made a decision on going into work this afternoon for parent-teacher interviews - not sure I can get myself up, showered, dressed and into work but will make that decision later - probably after some more sleep.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Angels333 we all need extra support at times, you're not being a drag. I understand that feeling though. It's important that you feel supported too while you're being there for your kids. And we are here for you 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you feel better after a nap @Zoe7 xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth @Zoe7 for your support 💙

I really like being a positive person, I haven't fully disclosed to the DBT group either as I feel it's so awkward for me. I've been wanting to use lifeline chat but the hours are family time then I take my meds and they make me drowsy. The suicide call back service has been too busy, I might have to push out of my comfort zone and talk to someone over the phone. Next to that I see my psychologist on Monday before DBT. So I hope I can get some more effective strategies....

Love Angels333

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