FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

21,381 - 21,390 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I much prefer chat as well @Angels333 I find it much easier to write than to talk about what is going on for me so I totally get that.

I also get that not disclosing anything to your DBT group - talked very little about what was going on for me in group myself - whereas others over-disclosed and made it uncomfortable for everyone. The facilitator was really good and would stop people who talked too much about really personal (and often triggering) things but it is hard to foresee what someone is initially going to say and the effects it will have on others - despite her constantly saying that we need to keep exact details out of our checking in. The last couple of groups were better at doing that but we had one or two in the earlier groups that certainly overshared It is a fine line in those groups between oversharing and safety for all so I can honestly see your dilemma in your current state here Hon.

I hope you can talk to your psych about what is going on for you right now and they can help with some strategies. It is a tough place to be sitting but also good you have your family around you to keep you distracted a bit. Take care of yourself as best you can Hon - day by day - and make that call to a helpline if you need

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Really happy sil's bro is leaving you alone thus far. Yes it is amzing he has kept his job goes to show how much they need nurses..... I wouldnt like to be under his care though .... I am doing good thanks just came back from a walk with mental health nurse :). Sun was shining, beautiful blue sky just gorgeous :D. People just out walking doing their own thing. Just felt really nice. I hope you are having a lovely day eth. Love greenpeaxx:)

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth have a nice day. Take care.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Yea stress ... it's hard to escape from... it's good to identify what is causing the stress, and try to get a good prospective on it ...

Eude

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7

Haven't heard from you in awhile ... i hope you're managing well ...

Eude

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I did chat online. Feeling a bit better but it's going to take time to recover.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333

You are in a peak load time of your life with small children. In a better world the support would be there for you in real life. Or the expectations would match the energy and dedication you already have.

@saturnzoon Yep I often wear my son's cast offs. Not throwing good clothes out if there is a use.

@eth Yeah the mirror thing ... eye roll .... I started buying 2 at a time as I hated changing. Mostly undressing and dressing was still causing me a lot of pain to my neck.

Good you got around to doing it properly though. It is worth being "well supported".

@Former-Member @eudemonism

@Bunniekins @Meowmy @eudemonism

Hope you all have a reasonable day ... I am taking cat to vet for shot and meds and then singing tonight.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom enjoy your day. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Angels333 , I agree with @Zoe7 and @eth @Former-Member No one is ever a bother to any of us here, you can look at it like where a family that don't see each other but let everyone know how we are going and the support we get from each other is amazing, especially when where going through a rough patch. There is always someone on here that can encourage us or even just listen. I'm no good with phone calls either cause I can't think and my memory is just no good anyway and as soon as I get off the phone I won't remember what I was just told.

@Appleblossom @Mazarita @eudemonism @Meowmy @eth @Bunniekins hope you have a good day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Getting by day by day @eudemonism Not the best day today but just needing to get through it and get to tomorrow. Hope you are doing okay

21,381 - 21,390 of 27,230