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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Art group sounds good @Mazarita. Do you know what you're doing each week there or do you go along and find out then?

It was really warm here last night and it's still warm this morning. In between this post and the last one, the first birds have woken up which sounds lovely. I'll enjoy sitting outside this morning watching the day start 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We just find out what we're doing when we get there, @CheerBear. In fact there are a number of activities that kind of get rotated over a number of weeks. That gives us a chance to do our favourite things again, possibly improve, etc. It would be good sometime if the facilitator surprised us again with something totally new, but I enjoy doing anything that comes up. It's a social/meditative/creative thing for me, in a very casual, lowkey, no-expectations kind of way.

Sounds a lot warmer where you are than here really. It's been much cooler for this time of year than I've been used to. Summer hasn't really hit yet, not like it usually does by now. That's okay with me though. I prefer it a bit milder really.

It's lovely imagining you sitting outside with the birds in the morning. When it does get warmer I'll be hearing a lot more birds in the morning because the glass doors will be open.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I really enjoy hearing about this group @Mazarita and would love to know more, though I am not sure you can/would like to share as understand the need to keep specifics quiet. Those art groups I went to at the break place felt so good for my insides.

I enjoy the warmth, but not when it is too hot, as it was last night. The LF all had a tricky night because of it. One is in undies lying like a starfish on the lounge (which was a bit of a cute surprise when I went to make my cuppa) at the moment and one is sprawled in my bed. All were up for water more times than I remember. It's going to make for a hard day for them but the warmth has great too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That does sound really warm, @CheerBear. A nice change to the cold of winter there. Love the image of your little star-fish.

Do you have anything on today or is it a recovery day after the big one yesterday. I really feel for you with what you were writing about it after the event. I know that feeling of aloneness, from other times in my life. Big hugs to you, from just one of your many warm friends here. We may not be able to give you that hug for real (possibly a good thing, lol), but there are a lot of minds and hearts here in your favour. I hope the feelings have subsided a little in their hurtfulness over the night and that today's warmth reaches your heart in a good way.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Such a nice change from a freezing cold winter @Mazarita. The sun feels good (when it isn't burning me haha).

Today I am planning on getting to an outing with big fish and tiny ones at school. It's something I really don't want to do but I know will be good to, and is important for mine. That's the only non-essential on my list today. After that, it will be a recovery day as I am very teary and really tired still. It's been a very, very big couple of weeks. Thank you so much for your kind words and your support. It really does mean a lot to me ❤ My hugs would be really teary and snotty at the moment - virtual ones work well for all I think 😉

I'm not exactly sure what recovery looks like just yet, but I have lots I could do that will feel good so I'll see what that means once I am back from the morning outing ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I get burnt easily too, @CheerBear. I got the genes from my mum, who had red hair. Sounds like it will be good to get out of the house for a bit, and then take it easy and give yourself healing time.

I'm going to head back to bed now. Need to get some more zzzzzs if I'm to make it to art. Thanks for the lovely early morning chat. Hope today unfolds gently and kindly for you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So so lovely to bump into you @Mazarita. You really do brighten my mornings. Hope the sleep feels good and your art group is great ❤

Thanks Maz 😊

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @CheerBear, @Mazarita

Yes @CheerBear it is always better to get up and have a cup of tea when you can`t sleep xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

I love your raves and love that you love mine too 🙂 {There's a lot of love right there :)} I've been getting a lot of pains in the chest {particularly under my left breast} and I always think - Oh no heart attack! But I've been feeling that for years, and bit like the boy who cried Wolf, I reckon one day I'll have a heart attack and think it's just panic! 😉

Now there's a deep and meaningful question - Do we ever recover from life & are we meant to? I've got a couple of pretty simple answers, what I believe anyhow - no and no. From the moment we take our first breath, not only are we living, but we begin to die - and that's how it's meant to be.

I spent about 2 years sitting on the couch - not really doing anything, except screaming out a lot of anger and nasty swear words . . . and crying. I never want to go back there again. Having put myself in an isolated position, having no-one else in my day to day life is not always an easy place to be, but it means there is no-one else to blame for anything and no-one else can claim any of my successes. It's just plain selfish, and it seems the only way I can allow myself to be so.

I think the problem with so many people, is that you can not have one 'functioning' for them all. What may be seen as dysfuntional may merely be somebody functioning in there individual way. I think we get brought up being taught there is only one way to function, anything else is wrong. So if you function in a different way, the majority of people see you as 'wrong' - whether your harming anyone or not.

This writing off the top of your head thing, I think I do it a lot. In my head I'm answering a letter, someone has taken the time, effort and caring to communicate with me and I want to communicate back 🙂 I mean that's what communication is about isn't it, questions and answers, statements of belief. I much prefer communicating with individually functioning people, everything else feels like I'm reading a text book, that's had all the real edited out of it.

My cat is amazing! 🙂 He's somewhere around the decade old, he's been with me the longest in my furry group of friends. He's a grey tabby and white, shorthair - moggy 🙂 He's a brilliant hunter, I know it's sad that cats {in such huge numbers as Humans have allowed} end so much wildlife - but they can't help being cats. He's not as active now, I only get the occasional lizards gizzards left as a gift these days; but I have seen him catch a finch mid-air! And although I felt sorry for the finch, I could not help but be in awe of the skill, the speed, the co-ordination it took to achieve that! He's also an accomplished snake hunter, and appears to know which ones are fully awake or highly venemous and leaves them alone. It's been a lot of years, but he used to come to my isolated camp spots with me and he'd stay at the camp, and even come on hikes with me 🙂 {I never got into running, but I've walked a lot of miles in my days ;)!} He still comes on the walks around home. He gives me what I call 'kitty massages', taking a mouthful of fluffy blanket in his mouth {which could be a bit of the suckling instinct or/and the mating instinct (as the male will take a bite of the back of the females neck)} and starts gently moving all four feet in a massaging way - it's really very nice 🙂 He was the only one in his litter to survive, the rest were put into a sack with a rock and thrown into a dam. My then best friend begged me to take him because she knew this was going to happen. He was only 3 weeks old when I got him!

I think the thick walled bubble we build around ourselves to keep the confusion and bad out, gets very, very, boring at times. I call it 'cabin fever' and it seems to happen about once a month. Perhaps that's why I visit my child on that regular time frame. But it often feels like I'm just swapping one cabin for another; and the confusion and noise at my childs cabin sometimes makes it worse. So I've been travelling on Google again, I even sent a message to a place where I discovered I could rent a little cabin {well, it's more like a bush hut, I think I'd like that} for $150 a week. It might not be up on the mountain, but it's in the alpine region - so I'm thinking it would be cooler than here {though it is in a valley?} - it's very isolated, with nearly no roads around it, on private property. I might just be building a bit of a plan in my head and that plan would be to go there for January next year - the whole month! If I paid $600 I'm thinking my own head would make me go!

Please head, remember Mazy's going under anaesthetic next Tuesday! I wouldn't be surprised if that's playing on your mind a little, it would certainly be playing on mine! I have never been 'put under', I have never had an opperation, except for a little stab when I was de-sexed and they don't put you under, it's a different anaesthetic that you stay awake with. Not saying I've never been knocked out, a partner that I spent many years with, used to put substances into a ciggerette paper and I'd swallow them; I have no idea what I've taken, but I have very fuzzy vauge recollections of bad during those years. I really hope the anaesthetic kicks some good in for you

The baiting and trapping signs don't get removed for a month, I think that's a way of saying it's not safe for that time. I do believe it really affects me. It's like they're admitting the baits in particular get moved about, they are not neccessarily removed. I thought these forests and parks belonged to the people, nobody has ever asked me if they can do this, I would say no. I would say pay hunters to go out and shoot these animals, I believe hunters would be less likely to end other species. Do they think a bait refuses to be eaten by an innocent animal, or that a trap first checks the scent of an animal before it snaps it's jaws? But I guess paying hunters and creating jobs would cost so much more then poisons and traps. They repeat this process 4 times a year - which effectively 'steals' my forests from me for a 1/3 of the year.

Well, depending on the State I think I may have missed good morning and should be saying good afternoon 🙂 How about just plain G'day, greetings - Hello 😄 Lots of love to you Mazy Hope Art class inspires you creatively today 🙂

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita @CheerBear @eth @Former-Member @Shaz51

I am MASSIVELY TRIGGERED BY A POST I NEEDED TO EDIT re forum changes.

Originally I edited it for TYPOS

but I could not help my self and spilled more guts.

It might not all make sense. Not sure if I will come on to this site for a few days .. It all depends ...

I think it is also called communication and working for SOCIAL JUSTICE.

I will be a good girl and my new usual thing as advised by GP and pdoc and pop a pill and do some housework and gardening etc etc etc.

I hope you all have a good day.

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