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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thankyou so much for your beautiful words @Appleblossom They will stay in my mind for a long time.

LOL re : the sound of vacuuming!!

Thankyou too @Faith-and-Hope

Hi to anyone who's around this afternoon.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You must have needed the sleep @Angels333 I have done simialr today - rugged up out of the cold weather on the couch with Toby. That is all I can manage today and that is okay. Hope the rest of the afternoon is good to you Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap @Zoe7 !!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 thanks for the encouragement. I have to go grocery shopping, I go every Sunday evening with my husband. I have to go to the chemist to get some ridiculously expensive medication.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I rugged up on the lounge and went to sleep., that sounds soooo nice @Angels333

Hello @Mazarita , @Appleblossom , @eth , @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 how has your day been?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @eth , have you been out and about today xx

We have cleaned out the vaccumm cleaners for the week ahead

then we repotted my succulents and planted some plants and cuttings and gave some tlc to some much needed plants in our big pots , we used a 25kg bag of potting mix today

also mr shaz washed the veranda walls and windows

got the washing off the line

gave mum a ring

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a really productive day you've had @Shaz51 . I've just had a stay at home day doing very little at all. Other than being here I read for a while, did a bit of crochet and had a nap. Tomorrow will probably be a few phone calls to get more details about how I can use my new NDIS plan, so I wanted to rest my brain and emotions today. Mission accomplished!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds like a totally wonderful day today @eth

have to put that on my wish list for next weekend xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

LOL @eth

Nice you got the importance of him making different noises in the house. The vacuuming was certainly not on his list when I first began posting. I was just hanging onto the fine skein of positive in him making music, but he is realising the importance of other practical things. I can honestly say I like my son, but it takes longer for many to mature. Still it is a more complicated world for them. Keeping hope is important. Like you did for your girl. That must have been one tricky parenting journey. WOW! I know many people our generation are feeling a little useless with all the google and computer knowledge availability, but your gifts and personality is something special. The world needs good older women too ... grandmothers have a lot to give ...

@Angels333 Glad you listened to your needs. The garden will be there tomorrow.

@Zoe7 Nothing but hugs for you, though our more cerebral talks about art and history kept me going in the early years. It takes time to build up positive feelings. Once there they can sustain a lot but also are very delicate. As I had so much change in childhood, the stability of you and @eth @Mazarita and @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51

@utopia @Owlunar @Sophia1has meant the world to me...

and more recently @Bunniekins @outlander and @MDT and @TAB

There are issues. There will always be issues in the long term regarding people getting on, but we have really built a good community, with some help from the mods.

But it is mainly PEER SUPPORT.

CHeers gotta cook chicken

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