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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you too @Mazarita ..... ♥️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @eth, @CheerBear, @Appleblossom and everyone,

No feeling as depressed as I was, though still really inactive. I even cancelled an appointment for a massage today. Gut is playing up a bit and I couldn't see myself comfortable on the table with it. So facing another blank day now. Haven't showered for way too long. Hoping to do that sometime today. Not sure what else I'll get up to, maybe some video. Might get in a walk on the beach but not counting on motivation to get me there. So, all in all, not as depressed as I was but still in a big rut of inactivity and general mope-iness. Ah, but it's so beautifully quiet and peaceful here with the windows shut and only one of the blinds open, letting in a little sunshine but not the full force of day. I'll have to savour this peace for a little while longer.

Wondering how everyone else is today, feelings, thoughts, plans.

Love to you all, Maz xo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad the peace and discrete bit of sunshine helps.

I had a bad gut night too, which is unusual for me. I am lucky in that.

I need to log off and doo some work.

But good to say hi @Mazarita

and @CheerBear @eth @Former-Member

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita .....

Thoughts ..... a bit scrambled ......

Feelings ...... low-key turbulent ......

Plans ...... coffee ..... breakfast ...... blank .....

Looks like an okay day ahead anyway. And it's not a scorcher today either. I can live with that ......

Glad you are not feeling quite so depressed, and sitting in the calm of a shaded house ......

♥️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, hugs for the difficult time you continue to face. We can do coffee, breakfast and blank together this morning. Glad it looks like an okay day ahead, and within heat tolerance. The sun is out here today, after a lot of overcast and rainy weather lately. Good to see you this morning.

Hi @Appleblossom, hope your day of work is rewarding. Good to get to say a real time hi to you too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning my magical Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

I hope the little dip isn't spiralling. I know that's not the best way to be, I also know sometimes there's very little you can do about it.

I went for another little adventure yesterday 🙂 Like you I've only fairly recently started going anywhere new. I wouldn't even know where everything is in my little town - I know where the places I go to are 😉 So when I try to find somewhere new for, mainly my young fella to walk, as my little fella can take a walk or leave it; I'm really stepping out of my comfort zone. But my 'comfort zone' has shrunk dramatically over the years and sometimes it feels like it's suffocating me! My recent camp trips gave me a taste of new and different - it was a bitter sweet taste - but I crave the sweetness of it. So I spend great lengths of time travelling on Google maps, gobbling up my download; and I noticed a public Weir in a small town only an hour away - and yesterday I went there! 🙂

It was a little disappointing, as there wasn't really anywhere to walk, and the weir itself had warning signs saying no swimming, no fishing, no boating, no no no! But it was for 200 meters either side of the weir wall - which I couldn't even see at first . . . and to be honest I wouldn't know how far 200 meters is! I saw a buoy floating further away and it looked like it had a warning sign, it was far enough away that I was pretty sure the young fella wouldn't swim there; so I decided, we'd come a long way, I'd let the young fella have a swim.

He's not a particularly grand swimmer, though he seems to enjoy it; he doesn't seem to be a natural 'floater' and if he tries to stay in one spot, looking for the stick that I've thrown for him he begins to sink! It scares the life out of me! So I didn't have him swimming for long. Seeing as we come a ways, I decided to pop his lead on and go for a walk in what looked like a mowed park area - although the 'track' I used to get to it, didn't look offical 😉 I had to use the lead as there were buildings that backed onto this 'park' (turns out, I think, it was a museum of some sort). As we walked along the edge of the weir I finally found the 'wall' in the water, it seems the water level was fairly low.

This 'park'/museum? had a large covered area in it, with tables and chairs, even a crown wood stove set up on the edge and a fridge, plugged in, at the centre! Quite the set-up 🙂 I saw, what I thought was a sign, closer up to the buildings; I decided I wanted to have a look {might have given me more of an idea whether I was tresspassing or not :D}. But as we got close to it a couple of dogs came out, so I quickly put the little fella on the lead as well and decided to leave 😉 My neck and chest were tensing up, there comes the bitter of the sweet. But the young fella had had a swim and we'd all walked along the edge of a weir that we'd never laid eyes on before 🙂 I felt the fuel that I'd used to get there, & the fuel that it would take to return home, was not wasted.

I didn't return the way I'd come, I discovered a free camp spot in this area whilst I was travelling on google maps - I wanted to find it. I had already found the so-called caravan park . . . in my opinion, it was awful! A bare paddock with cement slabs, each slab having a small post at the corner with a power plug and a tap. There was also a small building that contained laundry and bathroom facilities {I actually pulled up and tried to go into the ladies, but it was locked}. I really needed 'to go' and saw a blue public toilet sign at the local park, a small park with a childs playground and a small building I took as the toilets. It really wasn't much bigger than your average public toilet block, but as I approached it I saw the sign better . . . it was the library!! - with a single toilet at the back. I thought my town was small - this town reminded me of the old western ghost towns 🙂

So I didn't follow my GPS, I followed the road signs to my town as they took me back by crossing over to the other side of the weir. I found the free camp spot - soooooo much prettier than the caravan park! Right on the edge of the weir, lots of trees for shade and there was a toilet block there. Not that I got out and looked, I didn't get out of my car at all, as there were about 1/2 dozen campers there! . . . on a Monday - no holiday that I know of. Though I can understand it, it was a lovely spot . . . and a free one at that 🙂 I doubt I'll ever return there, but all in all it was a good adventure 🙂

Streaming the love, sending positive energy and squeeking the rubber duck 🙂

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dearest @Former-Member @Mazarita @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @eth

Hi girls,

How are you all? I'm going to do a job today at an alderly ladies home and then home with my husband.

@Mazarita The pluses is that you are writing here. Maybe that it you can do today? Have you still have bery long beautiful hair? I've just had all my hair chopped off .....but also, I'm down the beach in WEstern Asutralia....bit warm here.....

@Appleblossom I grabbed your message with my eyes and calmly read it .......lol.....it's nice to see you....

@Faith-and-Hope How are you ? Nice cool home, yes, we have this too but only small unit but still...you have children at home right? We have a bedroom called the bridal suite for my sons if they come and stay the night.

@Former-Member Hi, I need to answer you but how can I after your lovely description of your day? Thank you ! Arlo, my little doggy just came up to me and sneakily licked my arm....it was very cute....

PeppiPatty

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey Niqua, lovely to see you this morning, and to get to read a rave from you, including day trip adventures!

You are brave going out when there may be times of tightening chest. I tend to freak out at my strong emotions like that and want to avoid them. They've led me into such extreme places in the past. Which explains my love of staying inside with the doors and blinds shut, I guess. It's hard to get out of this habit of home, though I've been trying to expand, and have expanded overall, for some years now (since the big crash that saw me in bed for many months, 20 hours a day). That was about 10 years ago now. It's left its mark in a deep way to have gone through such a collapse. I don't seem to be able to recover really.

But do we ever recover from life anyway really? And are we even meant to? Life is about experience, after all. I guess it's just these 'dysfunctional' ways of dealing with it that are the biggest problem. But I was always dysfunctional, the life around me has always been that way, the two have intermingled and, voila, me. LOL.

I'm writing off the top of my head again. I say some strange things when I write this way but I'd prefer to speak from the deeper places sometimes, which we often do only speak of when not 'censoring' ourselves with the conscious mind as much. Does this make sense to anyone?

Niqua, I love that you have your dog companions, and a cat too, I seem to remember, though you much more rarely mention the cat. I am really more of a cat person than a dog person but I love both, and puppies get to some sweet place in my heart like nothing else. But I seem to have had a special communication with cats sometimes. I love their independence and strangeness, and relate to it, I guess. And dogs can scare me a bit sometimes too. My favourite dog in the whole world was a staffy, it belonged to C's brother and SIL. So the little fella can take or leave a walk and the young fella is the one who gets everyone out of the house and travelling for swims and walks and adventures. Sounds like the little fella likes to be close to mum. So... what is the cat like?

Proud of you for getting out again yesterday. Thanks for reminding me too of how your journeying a bit further from your safe place is recent for you too. I know what you mean about being suffocated. I feel some of that too. I certainly get stir crazy at times, and very bored. Tomorrow is art group. I am planning to get to that. Next Tuesday I have my hospital test under anaesthetic. It's known that anaesthetics can affect the moods of people with bipolar, and I have experienced this before. So who knows what I'll be like after it. Maybe it will kick me into action.

Hugs to you dear friend, on this, another day of giving each other virtual companionship and love.

@Former-Member

Hi @PeppiPatty, just saw your message as I finished off the above letter to Niqua. Yes, it is good that I have the motivation to write here. I wasn't able to all of yesterday after I wrote that depressed post. That's when things are really bad for me usually, when I can't even speak about it. Thanks for encouraging me to think even just doing this today could be worthwhile. Yes, I do still have long hair. I remember that you like to get your hair cut much more regularly than me, and that you have had some interesting styles? Great to hear you at the beach today. Wonder if you will go for a swim or a walk along the shore. Hope it's enjoyable for you, whatever you do.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member

I loved your adventure and the way you described it. I liked doing those things when I was younger, Neck puts a cramp on my camping style. So I vicariously get out and about .... through posts like yours and @eth

@Mazarita your walks on the beach have helped me in my imagination.

@PeppiPattyGlad you could calmly grab my message with your eyes. Glad to hear about Arlo ...missed him ... give him a big hug. Let BB feel jealous. I can only imagine BBs pain, but I do know that infantilising or allowing little Napoleon emperor syndromes rarely has a good outcome.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita @Appleblossom @PeppiPatty @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope hoping today is one of the better ones for you all. I too love hearing about the adventures you have @Former-Member.

Hoping things go well for you next week @Mazarita and that you get to your art class tomorrow.

I'm going to a workshop on easy steps to a healthier you at the women's centre tomorrow from 10-2 with lunch provided, only $10 to participate. Looking forward to meeting some more people and joining in a group which I rarely do. And one with a positive focus, not like the LBA course I did there not so long ago. And tonight sil and I are going to the dancing in the dark that we didn't make it to last week. I invested in some exercise pants and bra and a new t-shirt for it so will not feel too daggy and unmotivated I hope.

Looking forward to catching up with any of you in real time.

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