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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear about your crisis @Appleblossom

@Mazarita and @Appleblossom my day has been pretty boring. Only went to the markets for 1/2 hr or so - picked some vegies and brought home some aranccine balls (deep fried vegie and rice balls) YUM

Rested and watched TV after a skype with the kidults and grandchild. And have just now pulled out all the brussel sprouts, cauliflower and carrots I planted - I planted too late, winter was really over and they haven't grown well enough to produce edible produce. Bummer. But we do get yellow button squash and corn. And may still get beetroot.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom, @eth,

Apple, sorry this crisis is developing into something long and drawn out. I hope that things improve surprisingly quickly and stay that way to give you some peace.

Eth, sounds a bit less boring than mine, though I did sleep well, enjoyed the feeling of dreaming, even though I can't remember them now. Friend has not yet responded to my phone call so I may end up being home alone for some hours tonight. I've already started doing some more bits and pieces on my current video.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Going to water the garden so will catch you another time @Mazarita @Appleblossom.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth & @Mazarita

A lot of it is out of my hands. My family took a turn in a direction I never imagined.

I have managed to stay strong and do the the things that needed to be done.

Time will tell.

I am off to water garden too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ciao, @eth, @Appleblossom, catch you later.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Feeling down this morning, as I did last night. It was triggered by my friend getting exasperated and snapping at me a bit when I offered a suggestion about her housing search. It's made me think I've been telling everybody what to do around me. I also just tend to get very hurt when people are angry with me. It could be true that I've been too direct or forceful in my suggestions, and probably not just to her. But I'm guessing my currently mortified sense of it is also amplifying this in my own mind, out of proportion.

But the mood descent probably started before this. I've been sleeping so much lately during the day. That's at least partly because of this dilemma I regularly face about video making: it's best doing that at night, the quieter it is the better, which often translates to, the later the better. On the other hand, staying up all night messes with my inner clock and fosters my depression. I'm stuck with this. My psychiatrist suggests I just have to get out of these overnight habits. He's right and yet I can't abandon my creative passion.

Even depressed last night and since 3am this morning, I have been working on a new video. I haven't been highly inspired or joyful in the process. But I still think it's better to engage with creativity when I can, even when down. I don't mean 24 hours a day. I am aiming for some balance. Most days I don't do it so intensively. But there are moments when it gets that way and the creative process seems to need to go that way. And I don't want to stop it.

My friend is going through such a difficult time at the moment. I am genuinely trying to be helpful and it's likely there's an element of her taking out her fears and frustrations on me in her way of speaking to me last night. I am the person she has been seeing the most lately and have shared every nuance of her ride with this over whole days, a number of times a week. It's scary to me that she hasn't looked at one property yet. But it's not up to me how she conducts this search. I musn't let my worries about her make her more anxious. I'm going to try to take a break for some days, unless she calls for me.

I think I'm also finding it difficult to remotivate myself after a period of illness. I've been feeling sorry for myself about my physical illnesses, and about aging. I try to be philosophical about everything, and most times I feel like I am philosophical, at times even serene. But lately I've been feeling it more somehow. Perhaps it's that the psychologist therapy I am now engaged in is putting me more in touch with my feelings. Whatever's going on, some hole has opened in my heart and I feel it in the middle of my chest. And I feel like crying, though I probably won't. I don't want to bring C down. It's his day off. Besides, if I can 'fake it until I make it' with him for a bit, his friendly presence will probably help lift my mood.

Thanks for reading, anyone who made it this far. Just off the top of my head this morning. Another long rave.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita sending you big hugs for the feeling down and the tricky stuff that's bubbling away for you. For what it's worth, I can't help but think how lucky your friend is to have you, with your patience, kindness, practical thinking and understanding, willing to walk with her through her housing stuff.

Hugs for the hole in your chest too 💗

Thinking of you 💖

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @CheerBear. Thinking of you today too, sending you strength.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you and what you are going through @Mazarita. Hoping today is peaceful for you and you find some distance from what your friend has done. I understand you feeling down about it, but rationally you have done much to support her, and I believe it was reasonable for you to give her advice, probably just a gentle prod. But like they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. I think it's wise for you to step back and wait for her contact. And also review the balance between helping her and meeting your own MH needs. Sending you hugs and support

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita

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