FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

20,041 - 20,050 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita @Appleblossom @Angels333 @Adge @Meowmy @eth @BryanaCamp @CheerBear @Zoe7 @saturnzoon @TAB @outlander @Exoplanet and all I have missed and all who pass a big good morning to everyone :D! I am on my second cup of coffee for the morning ..... I need it to get the heart going before I do my second walk for the week. Ohhhh the temptation is great to go back to bed but I wont feeling good and the temp of 7 degrees is not going to hold the pea back :D. Mum is coming up today .... always have mixed feelings about my mum she can be such a snob.... but means well and none of us are perfect so I try to go with the flow and not let her upset me too much. Have a great day with whatever your plans are everyone and I am sure I will talk to you all later at some stage. Lots of love greenpeaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes just read more about the homeless woman. So sad. Tragic all round.

Ooooh @Bunniekins you have been up before me again!

Snobby mums can be tough. SOme of it might be wanting the best for you, but some of it might not. All depends. ??

Is something wrong with my clock as I have missed you by half an hour and my computer says 3.45 am. 3.15 is def too early and too late to walk. Says me, who never stopped walking all hours.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom did you walk at all hours too? I do that when I am manic. I have to hide my keys to stop me from walking at midnight!. I won't walk till 5am. I walk past a pool which is open with swimmers already in it and there is quite alot of traffic so I am safe. I am very careful. My clock says it is 4.01 am right now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ach we are in synch @Bunniekins 10 mins later and mine is 4.11

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Angels333 @Adge @Appleblossom @Exoplanet @outlander @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Teej @Meowmy Hoping today finds you all in a peaceful place with some hope for what the day may bring.

Once again I'm responding to tags from a few pages ago! So this post might be a bit of a jumble.

@Angels333 very sorry to hear your share about SH, for you and for your daughter. It takes so many forms and I have also had to deal with guilt, self-blame and shame as a consequence of my child's subsequent behaviours. They told me when they were about 27 years old that they had been SHing but wouldn't tell me how. And they live a long way away so there's little I can do about it - they've told me they have the support they need in their marriage and don't want me to be involved about it. Of course we worry. How insensitive of the nurse to say that to you. I hope you can talk to your pDoc openly about it and they can help you develop strategies to change. For me it took many years to change - I was self-medicating for decades which I see as a form of SH.

So I'm sending you strength and courage at this time.

Hi @Appleblossom I share your anxiety in social situations. That's part of why going to bridge is a real challenge, but good for me. It's the first time in many years I've joined any group situation without someone I knew already with me as a buffer. And a whole different kind of interaction than I've had for a long time because I haven't and won't disclose my MH difficulties more than I absolutely have to (e.g. why I need a lift and can't use public transport). Even after 3 1/2 months I only really mix with the same women I've shared a table with every week. A couple of times one or other of the men has interacted with me and I find it so confronting despite knowing I'm in a totally safe place. I felt they stood much too close to me and were too familiar. One of them approached from behind and put his hand on my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Another sat with us one week and his knee kept touching mine. I moved away several times and wished I could think of what to say to stop it but didn't manage to say anything. So I really admire and learn from the way you get yourself out socially and your reflections after you've done so. I know it's time for me to do what feels risky in order to get myself to expand my horizons beyond my comfort bubble.

Very sorry to hear about how the recent event in Parkville is affecting you. It's awful when a happy place becomes unsafe - it's no wonder you are concerned about your daughter still going there.

@Bunniekins I'm very glad to hear you walk in safe-ish areas. I have had concerns about you walking alone in the dark for some time but didn't want to say so. Feeling relieved xx

Hope today is one of the better ones for all who read this xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Why Hello @Mazarita spotted your support elsewhere. Sending you extra good wishes and the hope that life is still going well for you, especially with your big project. And that you still find room for some nice self-care. Lots of love xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning @Bunniekins hope you had a nice & safe walk, you're brave going out in 7 deg! Good luck with your mum, I hope it goes smoothly, I know these things can be complicated. You're a great daughter and she's lucky to have you. I've got a challenging appointmtment today so I'm just having some very strong coffee to get my brain in action so I can perform well. I can't wait for it to be over.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi long ravers,

Back for another whirlwind visit to the forum between work on projects in this biggest ever year of my creative life. The major project I was working on, probably more than full-time for the past four or five months, hit its first big milestone at the start of May, with a public event at which I was the key speaker and organiser. More work on that continues over the next year, but not at the level of intensity leading up to the first event.

Aside from that, my own video projects are in full swing as well, especially since the start of May event has been out of the way. As I've said in another thread, this has been the biggest ever year of my creative life so far, and looks like continuing on that way.

I had a health crisis last week that saw me taken to hospital in an ambulance. A hellish night leading up to that of severe Crohns pain and sickness. The paramedic was the best doctor, simply by giving me powerful enough pain relief for my body to relax and settle itself down. Had tests in Casualty that looked okay, got a bag of saline fluid pumped into me to address the dehydration that had developed from my horror night of illness, and was on my way. I've been recovering from that this past week, getting better day by day, but still somewhat fragile. I haven't had a Crohns attack as severe as that for more than 25 years. Following up with a visit to my GP next week, which will almost certainly result in a referral to public hospital gastroenterology, and I'm betting, another colonoscopy (the joy). Weird how the relief after such a major attack of illness leaves me feeling happier than before its onset, elated even, that the acute pain and sickness has passed. The silver lining.

Much love to dear friends, some of whom I will tag: @CheerBear, @outlander, @Appleblossom, @Shaz51, @Teej, @Faith-and-Hope, @Zoe7, @Bunniekins, @Exoplanet, @eth. Other friends untagged, you know who you are. Hugs to all. ❤️

p.s. I have turned my email notifications back on so that I'll receive any messages I am tagged in again from now on. Had to turn them off about a month ago due to a glitch on the site that was sending me emails I was not tagged in, too many for me to deal with at that time. Thinking with love of my friends here. Will keep popping in from time to time as I can manage with my insane self-imposed work schedule this year.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita 💜👋🌷

Wow. That’s a lot going on .....

Rather than repeating it all (cos I can’t stay long just now) I will say congratulations, commiserations, woo-hoo 🎉, thank God, and hope it all goes well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I ditto what @Faith-and-Hope said @Mazarita . Lovely to 'see' you again. 💜😊

20,041 - 20,050 of 27,230