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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Mazzy that means we might be able to meet up again for midnight talks!!! Yayayayayayayayayay!!! So happy that work and play is going so well for you but very sorry that Crohn's is giving you so much grief :(. Could it be brought on by the extra stress of all the work you have been doing? I hope it all calms down for you and that you are back in good health soon. Love greenpeaxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I am so happy for you with how your projects are going, sorry to here about your illness coming on again and hope everything goes wel, with doctors and hospitals big hus to you.

@eth @Appleblossom I'm a bit like you guys with social anxiety and not being able to go out, I feel guilty all the time cause my 12yr son when he has things on at school, I fjnd it so hard to be able to go to them, i do still keep trying to get myself to some groups, its a slow progress.

@BryanaCamp I hope it turns out good for your appointment later, thinking of you.

@Bunniekins @Teej @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @CheerBear @Adge @Meowmy

@Angels333 @Exoplanet @outlander have a good day

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita It is so lovely to see you back even if it is just for a little while. You certainly have had a lot going on and it is wonderful that you have checked in to let us know everything you have been doing and going through. Much love to you Maz

@saturnzoon I am so sorry to hear that you have to deal with so much and that the landlord won't extend your lease. I hope this new place is okay and that you can make it a home

@Bunniekins Thank you for your concern little pea. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you and our chats at all times of the night and day. Stay strong GP and keep up your usual humour and grace on the forum. You are a true treasure and I have loved our connection as well as the fashion parades so much. Take care of yourself little pea. I hope for only the best for you Hon 💜💙💚🧡💛

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks for your care @saturnzoon , my appointment was good, I did my best & am now just so relieved it's over.

Don't feel bad or guilty about social anxiety. It's a full-on affliction & very limiting. I isolated myself for 7 years due to my mental illness, a large part of which was social anxiety (along with psychotic illness, depression & anxiety/hypervigilance). It is hard to be around people when you've had cruel interactions with them during your formative years and it's hard as an adult when you can't make chit-chat let alone build trusting bonds with new people. I found medication very helpful, though I appreciate it doesn't help everyone in the same way. I spent the last 2 years going to meetups and working very hard to build a group of friends, they are really nice & I now see them regularly and my social skills have improved a lot with practice.

Have you removed your son from your bank account so he can't do afterpay anymore? it sounds like it's happened more than once and it needs some tough-love to happen.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins @BryanaCamp @Zoe7 @saturnzoon @TAB hello everyone. Good afternoon. So good to have logged on and read everyone ‘s day. I coped ok in the morning. Survived work. Now hope to unwind and rest a bit. @BryanaCamp So glad your appointment went well, now can relax. Hope to talk later. Wish you all a great afternoon.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Have a great day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @saturnzoon @BryanaCamp @Meowmy @Bunniekins

Flying by here. Very vulnerable. Lot riding on next few days.

@Mazarita

Gentle Tears on seeing your avatar (in the best possible way). Sorry about hellride in ambo, but glad you were well cared for. Big Congrats on event. Massive BRAVO

Love to all who need it and want it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom @Zoe7 Hello, hope you are doing well. Having a mental care afternoon,evening and night. Can’t do anything useful. I think I will just sit and rest until bed time. May be a bit of TV. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita It is so lovely to see you back

Hello @saturnzoon

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