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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's so nice to think of sitting on the step over a coffee with you @Mazarita 😊

It's a tricky time of the year in lots of ways for lots of people and I can relate to what you said. The financial stress and pressure is not cool. I find it hard to watch and be part of to an extent, excessive spending. The Christianity thing plays on my mind also, as does the idea that all of my kids have at some point asked when it would snow on Christmas day etc. Then add in family issues, which there always is, and it's... yeah. I can feel and see magic in the air though, plus it's an amazing excuse to be silly and play with lots of glitter with the LF and sing loudly haha. It's all the feelings amplified, that really probably don't need to get any bigger. Those little faces throughout December though - heart explosions.

What kinds of things do you have on your daily list?

It's a cold morning here and I think there was frost overnight. I can hear a rooster which makes me smile (because it's in the far distance haha).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, haha, now you've got me actually opening up the list (didn't manage that yesterday). Okay, yes, there it is. My main aim for the day (looking at the list) has now been achieved! Next, to find some bonus action in what I have planned there. I have very basic things on the list, like: meds reminders, a reminder to go somewhere out of the flat, housework tasks, shower. I encourage myself on the list to take a beach walk if the timing is good for low tide (able to walk better then).

Glad your rooster is in the distance, that would be nice to hear. What do you have on today?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Checking off a main aim for the day by this time of the morning is a great start @Mazarita 👍

I have made a similar kind of list recently, as I got caught up in big things and can tend to forget the smaller but so important ones. It has things like "make my bed" on it, and I've found it really helpful in keeping me from getting lost.

Miss beach walks. It's nice to hear and think of them through yours though.

Roosters are only good from a distance haha!

Today I have a LF free day/night (something about totally breaking down earlier this week and being offered a night off I think 😉). It's a long weekend for them so the timing is good there, and I have a few things on tomorrow that would be tricky with tag-alongs. I'll spend my day digging up the edges of the vegetable garden bed so we can put a few seedlings in and might head out on a bit of an adventure tonight. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about it yet though, so I may also end up spending the night with Noodle and Mouse instead which would be fine with me 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a really good break-away day for you, @CheerBear, glad to know you get those from time to time. That makes you and @eth both into the gardening at the moment. I wonder what seedlings you might put in. Curious too, of course, about your possible adventure in the evening. Understand always that it's important for you to keep some things to yourself. I haven't been for a beach walk for quite some time. I'm apprehensive my feet and lower legs will have seized up from hanging around the flat while sick. I've already checked though and low tide today is mid-arvo. We'll see what happens. I too have 'make my bed' on my list. Actually I'm pretty good at making the bed almost every day even without prompting. I even did it yesterday, which was an all-day-nightie-day. Making the bed is one of the new and better habits I tried to make along the way that stuck, happily.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope you don't mind me listening in on your conversation @CheerBear @Mazarita Just wanted to say good morning to you both and thanks for reminding me to look at my list!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @frog. Don't mind you listening in and joining us at all, you are welcome.

Though I can be very resistant about lists sometimes, at others they do seem to really help. At least to get more done than I would have without it, even if I only rarely get through everything on there.

Are you an early riser usually? Anything on today?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Those breaks help keep me going @Mazarita and I'm very thankful for them when they happen 😊 It can be pretty full on here so I appreciate the opportunity for downtime (or a change).

I've got strawberries, tomatoes and corn to go in. I'll put some seeds in trays in a little greenhouse we have, with the littles soon and from there that's how we'll do it ☺ We need flowers (not really need, but definitely really want!). I am kind of wanting to mention what kind of adventure this is/may be and might talk it out (or whisper it) later. It's in a box to think about this afternoon now.

I hope your legs and feet work for you. Go gently (said in the nicest way, as I don't think you need reminding). Your body has been through a bit, so slow and steady return sounds like the way to go 💗

Good morning @frog 😊 Great to see you! How has your morning been so far?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Mazarita I like to get up early though lately I've had some struggles facing the world. Hi @CheerBear. I've made my bed. I have mostly mundane things to do today. Next up is my physio exercises for my falling apart body followed by a shower. Then a little walk with my dogs. The thing I'm looking forward to is watching an episode of Stranger Things with my kids. My daughter is coming over for dinner, which is really good. I miss her a lot.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Are your kids big ones @frog? (If you can/want to say of course). I had in my head they were teens, sorry if you've mentioned it and I've forgotten. I hope you enjoy your walk, the episode with the kids and seeing your daughter tonight ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, red fruit and yellow vege, nice. I like the image I got too of your little greenhouse. I think you, CB, do need flowers. You have such a wonderful appreciation of them and their colours. I'll be keeping my ear to the ground for whispers later. Yes, good ole slow and steady. I used to bounce! And loved dancing! I went to a lot of nightclubs and especially loved outdoor raves up until I was in my early 40s. Those were the days, my friend, lol. Still, I am glad to have the memories.

@frog, I relate to finding it hard to face the world sometimes, I feel that way too much, luckily not all the time. How wonderful you will be with your daughter tonight.

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