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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Is it your birthday today @eth ? If so can we have a party?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Snap! I want to be an old lady with long grey hair too! mine will have a wave due to purple medication lol which is making my normally dead straight hair wavy (which I really like :)). My hair is down to my shoulders now and have sprinklings of silver in it which I really like. When is your birthday? Is it today!?!?!?!?! Happy birthday eth 😄 xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @greenpea thanks for keeping me in mind. I've just been finding I need a lot more time out between activities away from home the last few days. I think I'm probably coming down from all the added anxiety the last month.

Sounds like you have a big day in the garden today. Hope the 'triffid' (!) doesn't grow extra heads in response to being trimmed, like something out of Greek mythology. It's always lovely to hear of your friendship with your elderly neighbour.

I had bridge all morning monday and then a few hours with a sw yesterday. We went for a long walk on the beach which was great to clear my head a bit. Went all the way to water tai chi to be told it was cancelled. A phone call would have been good.

Hope you're having a happy start to your day and that it unfolds as desired.

Good morning also to all here @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Adge @Exoplanet @outlander @Shaz51 @saturnzoon @Sophia1 @BryanaCamp @Angels333 @Meowmy and anyone else passing by. Sending all wishes for a better-than-average day and extra support to those who want it. Missing you both @Appleblossom and @Mazarita hope you're both feeling ok and that we'll see you again one of these days.

I do feel like I'm missing real time chat with you all but because I'm here less often this week I seem to be here when no-one else is.

I am out with a sw again today for my psychology ap't, then getting a haircut/style and then grocery shopping. Then tonight I'm cooking for 4. Mushroom and hazelnut pasta with a garlic cream sauce.

POST EDITED : Sil's bro is in hospital detoxing from alcohol. Sil and her mum are trying to get the hospital to keep him in beyond initial detox this time and get him into a proper longer term rehab program and possible diagnosis of underlying mh problems. I really hope this happens. I am sad for sil and her mum going through this and there's a lot of extra tension in the house because of it. It might be selfish of me but I really don't want him back here. For lots of reasons.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins @Zoe7 I was asked to edit the above post. Hoping it's acceptable now. I understand why.

My birthday is tomorrow .... I'm aghast at turning 56! Am treating myself also to a mandala making workshop tomorrow morning and will probably go to a poetry night with bro and sil later. A party would be nice @Zoe7 - thankyou!

In between I have another meeting with my coordinator of supports. Getting ready for my plan review for the next year of NDIS funding. Would rather do it on any other day, but have to grab her when she says she's available. We have a lot to organise in the next few weeks and I'm really hoping she's onto the things she listed when I saw her last week. I received an apology for poor support from her boss via my sw last week which was good. And the CoS told me the same boss had said to her 'red flags about Cedar's needs' ...... so I wish I could trust her to give me the same priority as her other clients now. Maybe she'll be more motivated or just maybe she'll react against being told by her boss. I wish I could trust her and rely on her more but the last 2 months she has let me down repeatedly. If that hasn't improved I will be asking for someone different after I get my new plan. It's not good having to be strategic about my interactions with her - I don't do strategic well, it makes me very anxious and double check every word I say.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I hope it all goes well for you eth you really dont need the extra stress re ndis. I will be meeting the manager and another person re a potential sw tomorrow. Am a bit nervous but trying hard not to think about it too much. All this stress is not good for the pea ..... makes me want to hide away in my pea pod. xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins me too!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Bunniekins thanks for your morning messages. I hope you've enjoyed your gardening with your neighbour, it sounds like quite a big job. Have a good day

hi @eth thank you for your kind words and messages. You sound like an amazing cook! and am I right is guessing vegetarian? It's inspiring. Glad your bro & sil are back home, well done for managing everthing while they were away.

I'm feeling a bit better after having cocktails with my sister, I feel like something has lifted. I appreciate alcoholism is very negative, dangerous & upsetting for you both GP and eth but I find cocktails/socialising is a fun & enjoyable part of my life and for whatever reason I feel better after letting my hair down. I talked to a lot of friends irl about the problems that were weighing me down lately but just felt more frustrated, helpless and anxious. I'm an odd-bod in that talking doesn't really help me but I'm glad that having some fun with my sister did.

I have to get some groceries and try to do some cooking today and I have my film club tonight. Last week I was too tired to go so I'm going to try really hard tonight to get there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Meowmy thanks for your messages. I'm feeling a bit better today which is good.

That's fantastic your meds are helping, I'm really happy for you. It was such a relief to me when I got onto the right meds. Have a good day today

just incase you like cats (it sounds like you do from your name!), this is my little buddy, he's all black like a panther.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I'll organise a birthday for you tomorrow before I head to work. ANy excuse for a party is a good excuse here in forumland and what better an excuse that your birthday Hon 💐🎉🎈

Hi @Bunniekins @BryanaCamp Just home from DBT and pdoc so resting up for a little while before I get moving to mow the backyard.

Hope you are all having a good day

Throwing in a hello and miss you here to @Mazarita also. Hope very much that you are doing okay Maz

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@BryanaCamp Your lil dude is gorgeous! I love cats :Dxxx

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