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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@BryanaCamp That is really nice. Nice cat , beautiful. Unfortunately, today, I am not feeling well again,very depressed. I just hope I can adjust my myself and my moods to a functional level. Thanks again.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That day in the garden with your neighbour sounds meditative @Bunniekins How was it?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi Long Ravers @Meowmy @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @BryanaCamp @eth and all the others sorry if I have forgotten you.

Today was up and down. I had a really low turn around midday and talked to the nurse who gave me some prn to help. I went to groups where I think I made some progress that I'm isolating myself when I sleep in the day.

I started a new med last night and haven't had any side effects so far.

@Meowmy sorry to hear you are feeling depressed today. I really hope tomorrow is better for you.xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It sounds like you are already making some positive steps forward @Angels333 and that is great to hear

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Zoe7 @Meowmy @Angels333 @Bunniekins @eth @Ali11

Listening to end a Gabor Mate youtube. He is talking about shame and I really see my old self, the me during the first 30 years. Feeling vulnerable but also want to see that I have done a lot of emotional work. Primal therapy helped me most with shame ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Ali11 Hi Ali11 🙂 I have the best neighbour in the world! I came out and she had the saw out sawing away at the triffid most of the hard work had been done! She is amazing so when we had finished I sent my daughter down the road to buy neighbour a big bunch of flowers to say thank you for helping me. She was delighted with the flowers :D. All in all it was a super pea day in the garden 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333 Hi Angels333 glad to hear you had a few 'ups' today :). Hopefully you will get more of those 'ups' as the days go on. Thinking of you and wishing you well greenpeaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Hi Appleblossom I am so sorry that you are suffering from feelings of shame 😞 .... I suffer from feelings of guilt but not shame. I think there is a slight but definent difference..... In any event shame is a terrible and constricting thing to suffer from. Hugs Appleblossom. greenpeaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Angels333 @Ali11 @eth @Adge @CheerBear @BryanaCamp @Exoplanet @TAB and all I have missed and all who pass this wonderful Thursday morning :D. Yes I slept in a bit so am feeling pretty chirpy this morning :). Have yet yet another meeting to go to this time with the providers re ndis package to discuss what they can offer me and a potential sw. Am nervous and trying not to think about it right now and just think about my walk in just over an hour with my lovely neighbour :D.

I am so over this ndis stuff already and just want to hide away in the pea's pod away from the world and be a kid again who doesn't have to grow up and be sensible. Being an adult can be such a strain .... I am not good with change even when the change is potentially good for me ..... anyway enough about me 🙂 wishing you all a super pea Thursday loads of love greenpeaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Change is hard on many of us here @Bunniekins even when it is good change. All you can do is keep your head above water and deal with it as it comes little pea.

Hope your walk was a good one and love that your neighbour is such a good one - makes so much difference when you have help. Glad she liked the flowers as well - such a lovely thing for you to do for her

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