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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I think your right in saying quite alot of us have had part or all of our childhood taken. For me it was witnessing DV, CSA, emotional abuse and having responsibilities of being a mother pushed onto me and being a carer from a young age for my nan.

Its been a slow day yes. Having trouble adjusting back but ill leave that to my other thread. So to stay on topic both here and there.
No they dont really. They help me get through crisis point and are there if i want to talk. Because i have the psych outside and gp they dont do much else

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I agree with what @eth suggests about changing your situation. That may take a while. But if I was you, I'd really be looking for ways out in the real world. I've been in family situations that felt like it was me or them and I may only be here because I chose to take care of myself first of all. Does this make any sense to either of you? I am very reluctant to meddle in your home life, @outlander, as I realise it is probably very complicated. Just know, there are many people on the forum, possibly more than you imagine, who have understanding and sympathy about how hard it is for you there. Hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita Did you get some good rest overnight? How are you today? Not much planned here except maybe some dish and clothes washing. Having a slow start. What are you planning to do with your day?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, yes, I had some good rest, for about three to four hours, in the bed. Dishes and clothes washing sounds good. Also that you are getting into the gardening in the absence of inspiration for the other creative things just now. I plan to go with the flow again today, including probably getting some more sleep. But you saying that about plans makes me think I might at least have a look at the activity list I've recently drawn up, and see if I can find some inspiration for things to do there. I'm struggling along with a video at the moment, going nowhere despite a lot of experimenting. That's what it feels like at least. But I may continue with that in dribs and drabs throughout the day too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita it's good that you got some rest, it must have felt good to be able to sleep in bed again. I have to go now and skype with Canberra mob but may catch you again later. Have a restful day.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy

I think I can feel you getting better through your words - your last paragraph where you choose to find something upbeat 🙂 It doesn't surprise me that your physically tired, your body has been physically battling a nasty germ that invaded it, and it's been battling for a long time! Plus you haven't been able to lay back and relax to sleep, or take a breathe without a struggle, I hope that's getting better too.

I got most of the washing done yesterday and I took the dogs for a walk at a place I haven't been to in ages - it meant I didn't get back to the mower . . . but today is another day . . . and I've already done the dishes 🙂 I'll have to go to the next town over and visit the video shop today, I've been forgetting the days lately and didn't realize I'd run out of movies, today being Saturday the library isn't open.

I had a strange phone call last night, not strange bad, a friend of my Father rang. My Father put a vehicle wreck on my property {many years ago} and this man wants some parts from it. I know him, but it was such a blast from the past - I hope it's not one of those 'trigger' things. I've been feeling much better, like I'm finally balancing out from the bank thing.

@eth, @PeppiPatty, @Shaz51, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member Sis, @CheerBear, @Owlunar, @Appleblossom, @Bubbles3, @utopia, @Sans911, @Former-Member, @Maggie, @Zoe7, @soul, @Former-Member, @TAB, @Bast, @Former-Member, and everybody. I know I don't have to explain things, I want to. The reason I'm not putting many 'tags' in is because I can't deal with too many people, and there are so many people here that I feel a bond with. I love you all and I know my words are here for everyone to read 🙂

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thou dost flatter me @Former-Member 😀 thx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlanderI too, have varied feelings when I see happy children.

I have also had WORK positions which have required that I meet specific needs.

I also have often worked with improving the parent/child bond.

I also have my own children.

YES lots of different feelings and situational specific observations and opinions.

One great thing about working at the zoo is that I do not get too close to other families but get a large volume through. SO I relate to lots in a relatively superficial way.Which is very different to the long term relationships being a private piano teacher. It is good for me as the interactions do cheer me up. I dont touch on my pain and that is good, and I come home feeling good. I also can compare my views with other paid and unpaid workers, which is a kind of debriefing. That is also different to the confidentiality needed in a private practise.

I am with @Mazarita in not messing with your home situation, but keep looking around and imagine what a good situation for YOU would look like. DOnt give up. YOU have lots going for you.

@Former-MemberYour posts are always so lovely. Good to know you a little.

Cheers ALL

Its a gardening and library weekend for me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My Dear @Former-Member

I'm here, I'm reading you. If I was with you you would sit in the kitchen and I'm one of those strange people who puts the clothes on the line and washes the dishes while you can put the kettle on.

Nice and quiet. I was thinking @eth @Former-Member @Jacques and @Appleblossom @Mazarita could arrange the tea and bickies outside? I hate telling people what to do.

@Shaz51 ..... can you help me vacuum the loungeroom ? I'm sorry @Former-Member for interfering in cleaning.... but leaving after a visit a clean home may be nice tomorrow ??

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @Former-Member

Hello @Mazarita, @Appleblossom, @TAB @eth @lisajane @Jacques

I will help you @PeppiPatty but we are having our cuppa first xx

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