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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs to you too @Mazarita

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth...

I was so hoping that you were going to write and I could give you my two cents worth. I've been thinkking about you today. You are so brave to see a Psychologist when you have just moved to Sydney and living near your brother and sister in law.....

I can't change that quickly...... (tee heehee !! )

Is'nt the map of trauma difficult?

Whats EMDR?

What can you do between sessions for self care? I don't think I could do what your doing without feeling I'm Doing something that has a 'start and finish in it as well. A bit like: starting a quilt or sewing something that would make me feel in the future years......

"Look what I did whiole I was going through those sticky sessions....." ??

What do you think?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@PeppiPatty ❤❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @outlander

I was just re reading some posts you sent me.......

This afternoon, I was listening to an audiotape and you came to my mind. The person was speaking of Grimm Fairy Tales and that for some people in life.....the Golden Ball, the joy of creativity.......the joy of creative childhood is taken from them and they spend their life trying to find it. For myself, it was definately right.

Please give me a day or so and I will get more information for you......it feels like this is right for me....that I lost the joy of being a young child at a very early age.

What about you ?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@PeppiPatty that does sound interesting. Id love to hear more im sorry yoir childhood was taken from you. It is the case for me too. Atm im taking it very easy as i was only released from hospital this arvo. Havent slept yet too anxious but working on it.
Hopefully youll get some sleep too ❤❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone

Hi @outlander, hugs for your recent hospital stay. Hope you catch up on sleep and rest easier soon.

Hi @PeppiPatty, I relate too to loss of childhood. The environment of violence, addiction, and my parents hating each other on a daily basis, made it hard to develop my simple childhood feelings. I saw too much at an early age, had to grow up fast and try to make any sense of life.

Hi @Shaz51, @eth, @Appleblossom and everyone, wonder what is on the agenda for Saturday for you all. Hope it's a good one.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita your story sounds familiar to mine. I seen and experienced way to many things through my childhood that i dont really have a childhood. I look at the kids who have a childhood like my own siblings and other kids and i grt mixed feelings. One is i wish i had a good childhood and the other is im glad they have a childhood and dont experience what i had and have.
Is that the same for you? @Mazarita @PeppiPatty

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander

Yes, I can relate to bitter sweet feelings when I see happy children. But I try to remember too that these things I was speaking of are a long way in the past now. They do affect me less than when I was your age, for example. Possibly I've got to act like a child a fair bit in my adult years too.

But I hope and believe you can find a greater peace with your journey so far, as the years go by for you, @outlander. Time can be a healer, I think that's true, at least to some extent, and if we let it be.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think i act like a child every now and then too @Mazarita yes age has no limite now does it lol.
I hope that time can heal me too ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty how are things for you today?

To answer you EMDR is a sort of rapid eye movement therapy that you do while focusing on a particular trauma. According to my psychiatrist and psychologist it works really well for PTSD. I still don't know really - I want to go into it with a bit of a wait and see approach, not too many rigid expectations about the process. I did google it some time ago and don't really remember all the details, just that I decided it was worth a try. I think it's meant to rewire the brain somehow to be able to remember but not relive traumatic experiences. Between sessions -- I'm doing some gardening lately, have lost most of my urge to creative activities like art/craft/writing, am hoping this is temporary. I have 7 more lessons to do of an online writing course but put it on hold before my trips to Darwin and Canberra and haven't been in the right headspace to pick it up again. But what you say is a good suggestion.

I relate strongly to the conversation about loss of childhood too early that you've been having with @Mazarita & @outlander . I think many of us in the forums would have a similar experience for various reasons. In my case it was DV between my parents, being forced into the role of my mother's confidant, and then CSA age 10. There are statistics I've seen about the high corelation between childhood trauma and MH problems.

@outlander sorry to hear you've been in hospital again. Hoping you can have a slow self-care day and not be pushed too quickly back into the role of carer again. Do they counsel you when you're in hospital about ways you can change your situation? I'll look for your other thread now.

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