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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 how is today going for you?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Really happy to hear you had a good time with your kidult and family, @eth, though the trip there sounds very hard. Awesome to watch grandchild learning to float.

I'm missing 70cm of intestine from two surgeries over time, which means that a substantial part of my intestine that was there for a reason (nutrient absorption), is just not there doing that now. Hence need for B12.

Hi @Shaz51, glad we figured out the notifications problem. Hugs for feeling like no-one was talking to you. How are you going today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I seem to recall you were recently checked out to see if you needed surgery again - was that the case? If so, how did it go?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear you had a good time with your family, @eth, xx

@Mazarita, we are both feeling tired today while working , home down , had a cuppa and cathing up here before cooking birthday dinner for D1 tonight

I am aching now but I am happy talking to my friends here xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I was sick with the lurgie when my date came up for the hospital test under anaesthetic. They wouldn't put me under with my chest that bad so have rescheduled the test for later this month. It would be pretty bad if they wanted to do surgery from what they find, because of where the problem is located (end of bowel). I'm instead very much hoping it's something simpler that can be treated possibly with topical medication.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope so too @Mazarita. It must be a worry for you. It's not fair that you have physical and mental health challenges. I imagine the Crohn's alone gets you down.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your sympathy, @eth. It's nice to share, though I know you've heard a lot about it from me before. Yes, it is a double whammy, the mental and physical health challenges. One of things I also find frustrating is that, because I always present well at my appointments, the degree of the fatigue I experience never seems to be properly understood by my doctors. My psychologist though agrees with me that I have chronic fatigue from all the years with the Crohns. I try to make the most of my life with it regardless, and really do have good times sometimes. Helps too that I'm not under huge stress with anything in my day to day life. Stress is really hard with Crohns, as it tends to flare it up.

Edit: missed your last post, @Shaz51, didn't get notified again! It's great to see you too, scottish sister. :

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sharing about it with me is fine @Mazarita. I think I've told you I once worked for a colorectal specialist surgeon so not much is out of bounds here. I used to assist him with in-rooms procedures as well as be his secretary/receptionist. I remember those little rubber bands well!! For the record I think you manage really well.

@Shaz51 I didn't get a notification of your earlier post either, didn't see it til I went through the posts here to catch up. Birthday dinner cooking sounds enjoyable. What are you making?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh no @eth, @Mazarita, hope it is fixed soon xx

cooking beef pie and vegetables

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, thanks mate. Yes, I do remember your work history with the colorectal surgeon. Thanks for your vote of confidence on how I manage with Crohns too. Since I had the surgeries, I've been mostly in a remission from it, but there have still be daily problems that interfere with functioning, and this chronic fatigue I experience. Glad that your problem from a while back seems to have settled for you now. That sounded alarming.

Well, I am now dressed, washed. The bed is made. C is home from work, good to have some company. Evening is coming on soon, which always makes me feel better too. I think I'll go offline now to have a chat with C before he gets too engrossed in his computer or TV. Thanks so much for the chat, @eth and @Shaz51. Hugs.

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