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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone @Adge @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @CheerBear @BryanaCamp @Zoe7 @Exoplanet @Appleblossom @outlander and anyone else around this afternoon. Sorry I haven't been responding - just now realized how many tags I've had today. Absolutely no notifications all day @Former-Member .

@Adge sorry to hear your wound is still causing problems. Hope you can see your usual Dr sometime soon. Were the stitches meant to dissolve or be removed manually? You're very brave dealing with this for so long.

@BryanaCamp your hiking spot looks beautiful.

@CheerBear sounds like some lovely close family times for you. And an honour to be the chosen one to record their stories and memories for future descendants to enjoy.

I'd like to respond more to you individually but a bit brain phased this afternoon.

I played bridge with my bridge partner for 3 hours and we did really well today. Just a practice at her house. She picks me up and brings me home. Really enjoying getting to know her better. Turns out she was an actress for many years, quite famous for some of them. Can't believe I've played with her for nearly 3 months and not asked her what her career was. Just goes to show how focussed on the game we are. She opened up quite a bit with me on the way home. I was so nervous and anxious

when I first started playing, and then when she asked me to be her partner, - it's really nice now observing a friendship begin. The first new friend I've had since moving here, and in fact for more than a few years before that.

Hope this evening is relaxed and peaceful. And that those of you getting ready for work feel organised and clear for the start of the week.

Take care all, XXX

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds like a good afternoon @eth

yes being playing up today , hope they fix it soon

been going to the latest posts to see what is going on in the threads

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 good idea. I'm just planting some seeds but will be back later. Hope you've had a good day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

what kind of seeds @eth

busy today but ok , we trimmed a bush

morning tea with the family

mum is in hospital

suppose to fly out on friday

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear your Mum's in hospital again @Shaz51 . Hope things improve before you go. Is there anyone else who can keep an eye out for her while you're away?

I just made furrows in a few places and it started raining heavily again. The next chance I have is after bridge at the club tomorrow - support worker for that starts at 8.15 am. I'm going to plant tat soy (chinese spinach), snow peas, cornflowers, lettuce, english spinach, parsely and broccoli. They all say autumn/winter on their packets so hopefully they'll do well. I'm sure you're more of a green finger than me with all the gardens you look after.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth my aunty and cousin want me to talk to the doctor to keep her in hospital until we get back home on the 18th

hope your garden will be giving you lots of veges xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not sure whats going on but i have no notifications come up and just get a message in yellow saying there's nothing.

Not a good day today Anxiety is really bad have doctors tomorrow morning and will ask forca health care plan as i havent seen anyone for a long time and some past issues have been coming up, which i need help with. Feeling very lonely right now and don't have anything for tea so might just take tablets to go to sleep

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and good morning to @Adge @Shaz51 @CheerBear @BryanaCamp @Zoe7 @Exoplanet @Appleblossom @outlander @saturnzoon and all who pass by this morning. Well we are now back on the air!! Terrible when the notifications go down for 24 hours!!! realise how much I miss my friends on Sane. eth I have a meeting with my son's ndis co ordinator today where I will again be signing my life away again and talking about things to do with ndis funds for son2 like holidays away which I am really keen for him to do (he is as well).

Will be going for a walk this morning and may go for another later on. Have been putting the pork back on so have to crank up the exercise again ....What is everyone else up to? Have a great day people with whatever you have going loads of love greenpeaxxxx:)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Gooood morning everyone 🙂

Wondering if this tag will go through @Bunniekins as I received some missing notifications in batches and it seems a bit wonky still. We'll see 🤔 How was yesterday after your big sleep? It sounds like you're making your way through those NDIS challenges, even though it is full on at times. I hope today goes well for you.

@saturnzoonnotifications were down yesterday which can be tricky, especially when you're already not feeling great. Big hugs. I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday. I hope your appointment goes well today.

Love hearing about and imagining your garden @eth and reading about your new friendship 🙂

👋 and ❤ @Shaz51, @Adge, @BryanaCamp and all.

Not much on for me today (woohoo!) and I am really looking forward to a 'nothing' day. I might wash the car if it isn't raining as it makes me happy to see it sparkle. I will probably also have another go at colouring my hair, though I am walking a very fine line between what is OK and what is not as far as the bleach I am putting in it at the moment!

Hope it's one with good in it for all 🌈

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all @BryanaCamp @Bunniekins @saturnzoon @Shaz51 @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Exoplanet @Adge @outlander @Appleblossom

So.... belated replies to yesterday's tags and posts which seem to have all come in notifications overnight.

@Former-Member So you know, I've also been notified of posts on a bunch of threads I haven't posted on, contrary to my settings which are for only being notified when I am tagged. Not a problem, just telling you in case it's another glitch happening for everyone.

Hi to those I responded to yesterday. Hope today is a good one with hope in it for all here today.

@BryanaCamp No I didn't get to water tai chi on Friday. After 2 days of cancelling things and waiting for a call about a meeting that was meant to happen before Saturday I just felt completely flat and not like going anywhere. Only 5 more days now and the others will get back.

Library work is something I've thought of doing many times over the years. Good luck getting back to it.

@CheerBear I hope you are able to work towards getting back into your studies. And enjoy your volunteer work. I've applied for something I've wanted to do for a while too - just a few hours a week from home - so fingers crossed. Hope your hair turns out well and you have a really good do nothing day for yourself.

@saturnzoon I hope today is at least a little better for you. That your Dr gives you the care plan and a referral to a good therapist. If you have no food you can get a voucher at centrelink. Sorry to hear that's still happening sometimes. Something's got to give. Here for an hour or so then again this afternoon so if you're still lonely and anxious I can sit with you for a while.

@Bunniekins I hope your meeting for your son's NDIS goes really well today and you get what you are looking for. There are a few companies doing assisted holidays, but they are really overpriced in my view - I guess it depends on the level of care needed (ratio of sw's to clients). For me to go to Canberra for a few days to visit family they wanted over $2500. Plus I'd still have had to pay accom. and food etc. Instead of that my CoS found out her organisation has an office near canberra that can do some hours with me and help with transport. Hoping that pans out as adult child needs help post-op in July - new plan is meant to happen between now and then. They are having 'top surgery' ... the next step in their transgender journey.

I did get out yesterday and enjoyed a few hours playing bridge and chatting with the lady who invited me to be her partner at her home. She's sweet and interesting, picks me up and brings me home. Turns out she's been a famous actress in her time in England before she came out here. Who knew?!

I think late last week I proved to myself that the more I do the more I can and want to do. 3 1/2 days and nights at home alone and I just felt less and less like going anywhere, complete motivational slump and even a bit of depression for the first time in ages. Days of frustration and then disappointment with no positive outcome didn't help.

But today I'm up early and looking forward to the morning's bridge lesson at the club. Will do my best to go to everything this week - 2 x bridge, 2 x water tai chi, psychologist and grocery shopping - out 5 of the next 6 days. Except I can't go to the live-reading evening at the writers centre that I'd love to do regularly because of another support not being put in place yet despite asking for it nearly 3 months ago and being told it was approved 6 weeks ago. Another organisation that I'll not be renewing my service agreement with when my new NDIS plan is in place.

Then on Sunday my mum and uncle are visiting in the morning on their way south. Mother's Day and uncle's 80th 2 days later so we will make it a special morning tea. I'm glad the others will be back before then as I wasn't looking forward to their constant competition for air space - neither of them does much listening!

So all in all a very busy week ahead, but will also have at least a few hours at home each day which I will savour. I'm way less anxious now that I know I got through the month alone.

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