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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hey eth and good morning 🙂 boofhead really sounds like he has to go. Why doesn't he go back to Perth with his girlfriend? Why is he living with you all? He is just trouble and yes keep the dog away from him because he will hurt it out of spite to get at you.

I am glad that your favourite support worker will be there with you today. That is a wonderful relief. Enjoy your day and try and forget about boofhead. Love greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and thank @Bunniekins . He's here because his sister and mother bailed him out, did an intervention, got him as far as 3 days detox, he refused to go to proper longer term rehab. This was all after he got done for high range dui, lost his licence, and couldn't get to work from where he was living. And had lost his partner and had to sell the house to sort that out and his debts. Which hasn't sold yet. So after everything they've done and are still doing to support him, he is drinking again. I'm sure the family will make him leave once they get back but didn't want to for some reason before they went. Things only came to a head 3 days before they left. I could write more but need to get ready for sw visit. Short story - he's Trouble with a capital T. Acts like an 8 year old a lot of the time, but at the same time overcompensates by dominating all around him (or tries to). I fear how far he might push it to get a reaction while they are away. Just don't trust him one iota.

Hope your day is going smoothly and you hear the results of the meeting in detail soon.

Love, xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth stay safe eth xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi all, I can see @Bunniekins @eth are active in here today 👋. Eth - that sounds really difficult around this person that's living there but it sounds like you are doing well to keep yourself in a space that feels comfortable and with your support worker coming over to get out in the garden - that sounds like a great idea too.

I am just coming by to chat to everyone here (I really don't mean to interupt for too long!). Some of you may have seen a community discussion that happened a while back here looking at longer threads andthe most suited area of the forum for them. The SANE Community came to the conclusion that when threads evolve into something beyond the original reason for the post, its fair to review where they ‘live’and in this case this thread is most suited to the ‘Our Stories’ area.

While this thread started off well suited for this area, it is now a bit more suited for the area of 'Our Stories' as it’s an ongoing discussion about life experiences. This will just help new members navigating through forum threads as well.

We’d like to start this process with your input and decide together when moderators will move the conversation over to ‘Our stories’. Any one who has this bookmarked or clicks a link in an email that references its original location will be automatically redirected to the new location. It will still be easily seen and accessible though. Let us know 🧡

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Navigating social groups is always difficult, IMHO ..lol

@eth Sorry about boofhead, but you have a fair amount of support around you from week to week. Take Care of you and dog and if sil needs to hear about it ... so be it. I think I had to put with that stuff all the time growing up, and thought it was more normal than it actually is. I made me be very introverted as I shrunk away from those types whether they were or male or female. On the other hand, I had aspects of language use that may have signalled to others that I condoned those types ...

Bloomin social navigation has been a minefield for me ...

One of the jobs my dad had in navy was minesweeping the Coral Sea ... apparently it was a hypervigilant time ...according to a guy from Legacy ..

@Bunniekins You are always up at unnatural hours .... howl ....

I was never like that ... not

@Zoe7 It gives hope that there are pockets of good cultures of good people.

Hugs All

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom yes the pea is actually a creature of the night :Pxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and good morning everyone @Mazarita (miss you terribly ....) @Appleblossom @Former-Member @eth @Zoe7 @CheerBear @BryanaCamp @Exoplanet @Shaz51 @Adge @Appleblossom and all who pass by :). Well I am up with the werewolves and vampires again .... this is now heading to be the norm but I enjoy it too .... and have sleeps throughout the day when son2 is at day care .... my mental health nurse is not impressed..... will go for my usual walk soon with neighbour but wont go tomorrow. Need a break and will try and sleep in wish me luck. Have a great day everyone. Love greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member I'll still be on this thread no matter where it gets 'parked'. I would like to say, though, that it is still frequently about difficulties people are having and a great place to come for support and advice. e.g. myself recently.

I would have joined the discussion you refer to and have read it just now, but I received no notification of it, despite being tagged by @Appleblossom on Feb 28.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all.

@Bunniekins wondering if you're still around?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Adge @CheerBear @Exoplanet @outlander @Sophia1 @Shaz51 . Hope today is starting gently.

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