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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone! @Zoe7 @Mazarita @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @eth @CheerBear @Adge @Exoplanet and all who pass by on this chilly Tuesday morning. Will be heading out soon but was wondering if there was anybody up and about to have a chat. Been up for hours:o!!! Oh well what can you do. Have a great day people xxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Up at silly o'clock @Bunniekins but going to try to get back to sleep. Emjoy your walk little pea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Thanks Zoe7 hope you get some more sleep :)xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Got another couple of hours sleep @Bunniekins but could do with some more. Not the best night for me so will probably have another np later this morning. Hope you had a good walk little pea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Goodmorning @eth What is on the agenda for today? Are you back to water Tai Chi yet?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Adge @CheerBear (haven't seen you lately, hope you're going ok) @outlander @Exoplanet and anyone else around here today. Sending wishes for a calm day with things going according to plan for you all.

Yesterday boofhead was a jerk again, calling out the dog's name loudly over the fence. It's obvious he's out to cause mischief and provoke me but I won't interact with him no matter what he does. I told my sil (who's in Holland) about the previous day and she said he's showing off for his girlfriend (visiting from Perth) and that soon she'll be gone and he'll be back on nightshifts and settle down. I don't know about that but we'll see. I will continue to put the dog inside when I go out. Better safe than sorry. But I am sure he was drunk the day before and also sounded super elevated - loud and rapid speech etc.

Sil added that she's determined not to let him wreck her special holiday, which sounds like she'd rather I not tell her the details of her brother's behaviour. At least I have a support worker today who can come next door with me while I take care of the vegie garden. It's on the back half of the block where he lives in the house at the front. SW today is my favourite one and will be good to talk to about this problem.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I know it is hard for you @eth with the way boofhead is behaving so having your sw there today to talk with will be really good for you. I hope your time in the garden is drama free and boofhead stays comlpetely away. I hope your SIL is right and he settles down once his girlfriend hs left - fingers crossed for that for you Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and thanks @Zoe7 I could rave some more about how boofhead is affecting me but there wouldn't be much point. Lets just say I'm locking myself and dog inside at twilight each evening.

How are you today? What do you have planned?

I will do some gardening while the sw is here and also want to return some cane baskets I bought yesterday. My sister suggested getting them to put under my bed for extra storage and also to block the view of all the other schrapnel that's under there. I bought too hastily, hadn't measured the space, and they were just 3 cm too big. Luckily they're from Big W and I can get a refund. Then we'll go looking for something the right size, maybe at the hypermarket that's a bit further away. Might also replace the ugly melamine shelves I have if I see something suitable that I can afford. When I got them I thought I'd paint them but paint doesn't hold on the melamine. It will be nice to spruice the cabin up. Even the new rug makes it feel much better.

Went to bridge yesterday. Nearly cancelled but I'm glad I went. The ladies at my table are going to go to a play session at the club on Tuesday nights and invited me and offered me a lift. So during the session I was anxious about that and had to say no at the end of the session. I just don't feel ok about going out at night while the others are away. It was a bit embarassing but they were nice about it. It's really tricky for me navigating being in new social groups where it's not specific to people with MH challenges and I am doing it without a sw. I want to disclose as little as possible. Maybe it's a bit like that for you with school staff too? How do you deal with it?

Hope I haven't missed you with this long post xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 sorry I didn't answer you ... tai chi is off for today and friday this week, then will be back on next week. Really missing it. Actually got on the ex bike yesterday and will do so again shortly.

If I've missed you I hope you have an excellent day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have found it really quite easy to keep things to myself at work as they are all so supportive. Some know I have been off work for some time but rsther than asking any serious questions about why they have simply asked how I am going now - that is such a nice change - people caring and not needing to know any background - that is the way it should be and I am very fortunate to have that. A couple of people know I do a mental health course (DBT) and the response has been how great it is that I am looking after that side of my health. It really is a super supportive environment. Even the day I was really unwell with a headache multiple people tokd me to go home and I actually felt the care and that I would not be looked st any differently if I did go home - so I did. They really do lpace the emphasis on people first and work is secondary - so different to where I have been before.

I totally understand your fears about going out at night - especially under the current circumstances with boofhead being there. It is a shame you miss out on that social interaction but I very much understand that it is not something you felt at all comfortable doing. It seems like the other ladies were very lovely and did not think any differently of you - that is definitely a lovely group to be part of too.

I do hope you get the right sized baskets today. It is a bugger the ones you got don't fit but you have your sw to help you today (and the right measurements) so fingers crossed for you that you find some quickly. Goodluck with the gardening too.

I have planned to finally cut Toby's hair and then do housework - procrastinating a bit this morning but there really is no rush - just take it one step at a time and it will all eventually get done.

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