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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It’s horrible @CheerBear, but I agree with @Zoe7, please wait and see what roadside assistance say.

It might be something simple and not as dangerous as it would seem. It might not have been possible for this to happen if the car was moving - a result of having been stopped, or something.

Hugs 💜

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It was the best hash brown in the world @Zoe7.

It's some part of the car that does something super important like gives power to everything including the power steering, airbags, warning lights, fuel gauge and a whole bunch of other things that may as well have been said to me in another language. It meant I drove it with a huge problem but there was no warning or sign of it until I went fizzle. That's scary 🙁

He's given me some ideas of how and where to get it sorted for not the ridiculous amount of money somewhere else might charge but even that may be too much for me. He's written it down. I asked him to because I know this kind of banana brain can't remember or make sense of much. We're waiting on a tow truck. My car is right up there with major stressors.

The other kids and the cats are somewhere I can't get to now and I have an appointment that's super important tomorrow but only PT to get there. Sigh.

Thankful for the hash brown. Thanks for being here Zoe and you too @Faith-and-Hope ❤🙁

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave


@eth wrote:

Quiet night mostly here except loud footsteps at one stage - took me a few minutes of racing heart to realise it was boofhead next door, not in the house where I was. Dog didn't react at all!
@Bunniekins he only apologized for the cat wandering, not for what he said/did the other night. I really wish I didn't see him as a potential threat so much - it's been pointed out to me that he has more good days than bad. And in the past it was mentioned that he may well have undiagnosed bipolar. So it would be nice not to judge him, but a drunk is a drunk is a drunk and knowing my own triggers, both CPTSD and bipolar, I have to keep a wall up towards him.


Hi @eth

It's a lovely peaceful morning where I am too - but I couldn't help but respond to you living with a boofhead next door - perhaps with Bi Polar and maybe he is the "drunk is a drunk is a drunk" and I hear that - it is what it is and you could live without that surely - no one forces him to drink but "boofhead" - I haven't heard that expression for years - decades - and it reminds me of a juvenile problem when I was a kid - Dad (the policeman) was always faced with this young man on Sunday mornings on the morning after the night before - sorry about that sir - boofhead certainly fills the bill

How annoying to have him living next door - your boofhead - not mine - Eth - you don't need to judge him - true - but his behaviour - yes - that is okay and acceptable - we do not have to like someone else's behaviour esp at 3.00 am

But yes - it is nice - wonderful - to have a pleasant and peaceful start to the day - it's lovely here

Dec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Cars are major stressors @CheerBear espeially when something is not right with them and even worse when it comes out of the blue. ...but it does seem like it is fixable - just the cost that you need to find a way to pay - and knowing you cannot afford whatever it is at present is another major stressor. Hang in there Hon - it is all solveable - just needs a little disyance and persepctive and that can only happen when you are somewhere that you feel safe and can think.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mega thank you @Zoe7 for helping me find my thinking brain when it turned off. Once I'm home I'll deal with the rest. The cats and kids are sorted. I'll find some time to do something calming and nice feeling once we are settled at home. I don't think I can do anything to fix this car until tomorrow anyway.

Breathing. Big thanks.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm here supporting you too @CheerBear Remember to breathe. Such an awful thing for you to go through. By the sounds of it they're telling you it's the main computer thingy that modern cars have. Best wishes for an affordable solution to be possible in a timely way. I understand how much you rely on having a trustworthy car. Do you have any friends that can help out at this time e.g. with lifts or even the loan of a car? If not I'm hoping you have good pt where you are. Feeling for you love, you just don't deserve such a hassle. I'm very glad you and your big are safe - thank goodness for that hash brown.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Breathing is good @CheerBear and thinking brain can wait until later when you are more able to cope with it all. Doing something for yourself to help with the scary of today is important too. Sending you some hugs to help right now also

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

PS @CheerBear I think I can speak for us all here - it's good that you could post and get some swift replies and support. No need to feel like you crashed the thread, ever. Glad to hear you've got the kids sorted and that you plan some self-care after such a shock.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your reply @Owlunar it's nice to hear from you. How are you going these days?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@BryanaCamp beautiful photos thanks for sharing 🙂 have a lovely lunch :)xx

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