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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Awwww @CheerBear .... just checking in again to see how you are and if the car-man has been .....

So glad you’re safe ❣️

So sorry this has happened and created more issues for you when things are already so difficult 😔. Strong sad feelings here, and frustration .

Are there people you can reach out to, to help you get done what you need to ? I know you are fiercely independent, and it’s important to you to be so. I feel the same. It’s part of our identity and values ..... but there will be people who know you who would like to support you if they can. I so wish it could be me .....

O would have needed to write it down too btw ..... particularly in a shattered state I can’t remember anything important at all ..... good thinking right there .....

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @eth ❤ I know you know how stressful cars and driving and PT and all that stuff can be 🙁 Big and I are safe and that's what matters. My head keeps going to how bad that could have been if it had happened only a few minutes later. We would have been merging on to the fast road. Big time yuck.

I will laugh (I am half laughing already) about getting stuck in the drive through soon. It was so busy and we had a huge build up of cars jammed behind. I went full panicked "you need to close the drive through right now" on the poor kid behind the window lol. He helped a building up panic attack. Pretry impressive.

Oh dear. This morning didn't go to plan at all.

Super thankful for the safe landing space that is here. I'll call by again when we're home and chilled ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Will be thinking of you @CheerBear xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth

I am mostly okay - I am enjoying this beautiful morning after a good night's sleep - no boofhead banging around here which is a good thing

I spent a week at Lakes Entrance a few weeks back - I had a wonderful time - just walking along the Lake near the motel where I stay there - it is so peaceful - I stay at the end away from the busy people - and I sat for a long time on the sea wall just thinking my thoughts - and I noticed my own walking has improved since my knee operation - this took time but it has happened

The weather was cool and windy but fine - and I always thought I would go back there and I hope to again - next time though I think I will fly - it would be easier on my arthritis and I always love flying - small planes are exciting

My grand-daughter has moved up to the Sunshine Coast - I think my next trip will be up there to see her new unit - I think she has landed on her feet moving to the north for her health -

Whenever I get back from a trip I start planning the next one

Dec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How great that you are getting around more easily since having your knee done @Owlunar . And adventuring away from home. Your trip sounds lovely.

My next trip will be to ACT in winter (ouch) to support my adult child after major surgery. So as much as I want to and will help them, I'm not exactly looking forward to it. But it will be special to see my grandbabies again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @CheerBear I had exactly the same thing happen with my car. I'm glad you're ok. It was horrible thinking the airbag may explode in my face at any time but I was able to get it fixed.

For my car, they had to take the steering wheel off and replace the special part (I don't know what it's called but like yours it controls the steering and the airbag light and so-on). It was all fine except when I picked it up after repair the steering wheel was on crooked! Then they said no worries that's normal, we'll just do a wheel alignment. Then that was hard for them to do becasue I hadn't had a wheel alignment done for so many years it was all too stiff to move. They fixed it as best they could & my steering wheel is a little bit sqew-iff but after a while I didn't notice it anymore. The main thing is my car is fit to drive and has no safety issues so I feel safe.

I think it was quite expensive but certainly do-able, no need to replace the car as I feared.

Sitting with you, I know how stressful this can be.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

HI again @eth

The ACT is a wonderful place to visit even in winter but one of your children having major surgery is not something to look forward to - I understand - my daughter had a major operation late last year - she recovered quickly but it was a drain emotionally - I think it always is when our kids go through it - I wish you and your familty the best through this time

And it is wonderful to see your grandchildren - having them live interstate is not easy - they grow up fast when you take your eyes off them for a couple of days - mine is in her mid-twenties now - where does time go? And how fast!

It's nearly winter now - when I was in Canberra I arrived during a storm - the plane had a rocky path in but landed fine and there was another storm that night - when I got up I went out onto my balcony and the sun was shining from the east - heavy cloud overhead - and the air was sparkling - it was actually snowing - I collect memories like this

After that I had weather so warm I didn't wear a jumper or a jacket during the day - and people warned me before I went that it gets cold in Canberra - for the first day it was but a different cold than Melbourne

And the sky was so clear at night I could see stars not visible from Melbourne

I should stop ranting - I hope your adult child is okay through the operation and you don't get too drained - it's not a easy thing though

Dec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Owlunar . I hope it's a milder winter this year there too. One never knows these days, what with climate change making everything less predictable. Have a good day. I just discovered there might be a problem with my computer charger so should probably get off it and save the battery in case I need a new charger.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear

Like @BryanaCamp said

Car stuff like that is super scary. Especially when the car also carries the most precious cargo.

Hugs

@eth

Hope all is well with dog and you.

@Owlunar

I was total chauffeur for 30 years, it is just in last few years I am pushing for public transport. It is a win win for me on many issues. I had a lovely time on it yesterday.

Take Care All

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds really horrible @BryanaCamp 🙁 Did you feel scared driving it after that experience?

@Appleblossom thanks for understanding also. Great to hear you had a lovely time yesterday 🙂

Just calling by now we're home and calmer to say that we're home and calmer now. I'll add 'fix-car' to the list of things to think about tomorrow. For now I'm enjoying some sun, then a movie afternoon with Big and some crochet.

Thanks again all ❤
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