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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope your lunch goes well @BryanaCamp I'd be nervous too. But if you never go you'll never know (I've had to use this one quite a bit lately) and you might enjoy yourself. See how it goes, if he's putting out a vibe you can make a quiet statement that you just want to be friends. If he is a real friend he will accept your feelings.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Agreed ❣️

@BryanaCamp @Zoe7 @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks for the encouragement & good advice @eth . Yeah, you never know I might have a good time!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 it's been really good to see your self-esteem and enthusiasm blossom this year.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth It has been good to feel more positive as well - positivity breeds positivity!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I just had a really horrible experience and am calming myself down from it so I can deal with it. My Big and I pulled off the fast road (100km) to get something for them for brekkie at a maccas. While we were in the drive through something happened to my car and it locked up the steering wheel, then the airbag light then engine light came on. I turned it off and it had trouble starting again. I couldn't take it out of park to push it either. Eventuality we got it out to somewhere to park and wait.

I'm super shaky thinking about what could have happened if it had done that on the fast road. Super shaky. It's a sickening feeling. I felt trapped in the drive through too.

Waiting for roadside assist now feeling bonkersly overwhelmed at the idea of trying to afford whatever repairs it might need and the real possibility that it might be beyond repairs.

Sorry for crashing this thread. Just needed a space. I have to calm the shakes 🙁

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is super scary @CheerBear Thank goodness you weren't on the fast road. I do hope it is nothing major and can be fixed for you but it is a sickening feeling knowing it might be something major or even beyond repair - that is something you do not need right now Hon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

❤️ @CheerBear

Breathe Hon ...... breathing with you. One step at a time.

Celebrating that you’re safe and nothing happened on the fast road ..... 💐💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A hash brown probably saved us from having a major accident 😔 I'm shattered. Without my car I'm in huge trouble and now I don't want to drive it anymore anyway. It just happened out of the blue.

Thank you @Zoe7 and @Faith-and-Hope. Just gotta get out of here and deal with it. Damn adrenaline come down 🙁

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So grateful for that hash brown then @CheerBear

I understand your ambivalence to drive that car again - especially as you have LF with you and the thought of putting them or yourself in danger is unthinkable. See what roadside assistance says and then go from there. Stay talking to us if you need too Hon.

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