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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth. I am sure that @Ali11 will get back to you but thought you might like to read this post here from s-jay in which she talks about some new community building staff who will be around the forums on the nights and weekends. Cheers.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins No need to push it through torrents of rain. I hope you and the staff can help guide your S2 through his crush. The good thing is that having positive feelings can set positive memories and adaptations to life in general. Hope it all works out for him and he is not stuck for too long on her.

@eth Reciprocity is an interesting concept and I hope would be negotiatied rather than demanded. Thats theory and you are in it now. What kind of dog is it? Making vulnerable people deal with a snappy dog is a big ask. Are dog's indulgences of greater importance than your needs? Why put you through hell when kennels are an option ...

Supporting you about it, but this is where online and irl are very different kettle's of fish.

Take Care

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom he's a border collie and 99.9% of the time intelligent and friendly. But small people have a tendency to get right up in his face and he won't tolerate it. Hasn't actually bitten anyone ever, but his reaction is still very scary.

You're right about the different kettles of fish - some days I am very aware that all my supports have lives of their own and are not at my beck and call. So coming here is part of me meeting my own needs. And talking it out here helps with discerning what to talk out loud about irl.

Thanks again for your support.

How are you travelling today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I just organised 3 appointments that I had been resisting. Sometimes its best to wait til I am in the mood and then I just get things done. At least I am able to indulge my moods more these days. Going to the zoo next.

A border Collie sounds nice ... but still big to handle.

@eth Nice to talk in real time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good on you for setting up those appointments @Appleblossom . Enjoy your day at the zoo. It seems to be something that's really good for you xx

Thanks for the link @Former-Member That information should be more visible to more forum users in my opinion.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I was wondering about the community builder also. Thanks for the info.

Reading along. Can't like as my like button is out of action. Old machine I think, user also.

Hope everyone has a goodish/okish day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well my son has done it again, his afterpay has just taken the rest of my money so now I have no money for food. I told my son and he didn't care and just said, he's starting a job nexg week and will give it to me then, but itll be to late, i need the money now not next week, i wish i could wring his neck. My youngest son will have nothing for easter now and I don't know how to tell him as he's only 12.

Sorry everyone I needed to vent, Well that my rave for now.

I hope evryone else is having a better day @eth @Mazarita @Appleblossom @Former-Member

@Exoplanet @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Adge @CheerBear @Shaz51 @TAB @Former-Member @Former-Member

@Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon Hi saturnzoon sorry to hear that you are still having fun and games with your eldest .... for some reason my kids are very careful with their money probably because we have had so little for so long Plus their father spends money like it is going out of fashion it has been a warning to them to be careful.

I don't know what you can say your poor 12 year old except the truth or maybe your eldest can be the one who tells him since he is the one spending your money. Maybe you could spend Easter the way it used to be done when I was growing up with dying/painting real eggs instead while you are waiting for the return of your money.

I don't know if you are religious but going to a Easter church service might be a nice way to spend Easter with you 12 year old as it is the real meaning of Easter that is important not the amount of eggs one gets or going to the Easter show. Just a couple of ideas. Love greenpea xxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not blah blah blah @eth This is a really difficult situation for you and we are here listening Hon. Write/post as much as you need and if you repeat yourself then that is okay because you are still on edge and very much feeling the same feelings in respect to your situation. It is not a good situation for you at all - that constant living in fear is not something you should have to do.I really hope those supports offered you are in place come Monday - you need as much support as you can get at this time. Hugs and hugs

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again @Zoe7 for listening and replying. I spent a couple of hours with my brother this afternoon and now have some of the issues (practical stuff) sorted and had more of a conversation about sil's bro so I have my eyes wide open about him now. But the bear with a sore tooth next door is staying at this stage. I'm getting them to sort things so that I don't even need to access the freezer on next door's back verandah for dog food. And other seeming trivial details that will make me more comfortable with an uncomfortable situation.

@saturnzoon I really feel for you and the situation you're in. Are you able to remove yourself from you son's afterpay details? I know a lot of people hate the idea of charity, but I am sure there would be some sort of food supplies available - it might make all the difference for your younger son.

https://www.dss.gov.au/our-responsibilities/communities-and-vulnerable-people/programs-services/emergency-relief

might be helpful.

Also : https://www.anglicare.org.au/what-we-offer/food-and-financial-assistance/

https://www.salvationarmy.org.au/need-help/

https://baptistcare.org.au/our-services/community-services/food-support/

I just googled food support services - if you do that google will come up with services in your area. Hope this is helpful.

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