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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 it is funny he was talking about his limitations re relationships last night. He knows there is no future with her .... he just thinks she is pretty and nice. I have sent an email through to his carers as he has been having some behaviours there letting them know of his crush and hoping that the carer in question can spend some more time with him to make him feel special. Autism sux.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I didn’t realise he was autistic @Bunniekins , the first post re carer made me think of that though. Hope you had a good walk 😸

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Austistic kids are special kids @Bunniekins (but all kids are special) they just have some limitations on their interactions. It is lvely that son2 is having those feelings for someone and also good he knows something will not come of it - two distinctions that are important. He sounds like a lovely kid from everything you have said about him and you should be very proud of him. Austusm just makes him a little different to some kids but again - all kids are different in their own way and certainly unique

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB Hi TAB yes he is profoundly autistic but verbal and has times of normality but also huge deficits. As for my walk I opened the front door and it was torrential rain :o! so this little black duck stayed nice and warm inside her house. Hopefully will get out later. Hope you and @Zoe7 have a wonderful Friday 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ok. @Bunniekins . Well at least the rains on the outside 😬 not a brolly pea? Im tired. Got up had shower and laid back down was more comfortable than anytime last night.
Hopefully be out of here soon. You have a Good Friday too although thats next week? .. lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Adge @BryanaCamp @Appleblossom @CheerBear @saturnzoon and @Shaz51 (hope you're doing ok, haven't heard from you lately) and anyone else around this morning.

Slept a bit better last night but still feeling really on edge about the month to come. Bro, sil and sil's Mum leave tomorrow for their month in Europe. The last I heard is that sil's brother will be next door while they're gone (he said he wouldn't be when things blew up on Tuesday night). And now I know he is drinking again. He's a person for whom one is too many and a hundred is not enough when it comes to alcohol. And a mysoginist bully. Really hoping he doesn't pull any sort of stunt on me once the others aren't here for him to be accountable to. I find it hard to trust men in general given my past, but my fears have been confirmed about him this week and it's affecting me a lot. I've raved about it already here I know, and am trying to focus on having a safety net in place, but my coordinator of supports cancelling yesterday and then not emailing me like she said she would is not helping. She doesn't work today so nothing will be sorted til next week some time. Plus I now know one of my regular supports will not be coming to me any more and they want me to start with a new one. I'm uncertain about doing this when there's so much going on for me already. Blah blah blah.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I feel for you @eth , the timing of this situation is terrible - tommorrow is D day! I know you have many helplines in place & I don't blame you for doubting the support worker ones - I think you need somebody else there. If you weren't there, who would Bro & sil get to look after the place? Love to you Eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet there isn't anyone else who can do a whole month here. The main issue is the dog - he could handle a drop in twice a day to be fed for a few days but no longer. And they don't want him to go to a kennel for that long either. I'm sure there will be friends of theirs who are able to give me a hand if I really need one (e.g. if he needed a vet) but they haven't yet discussed that with me or given me a list. It's all feeling very last-minute-ish.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Ali11 I noticed you liking some of my posts. I'm wondering what a 'community builder' is? - I've never seen that title on here before. Is it a new name for something that we had already e.g. @Former-Member ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet some 2-3 months ago I had said to my brother that I'd considered going away for the whole month and he responded strongly talking about 'reciprocity' for all they've done for me. It still feels like I was just told I had to do it, not asked if it would be ok. Can't change that at this stage. My sister has said she will come for 3 days next week and maybe another 3 at some stage later in the month, that's the best I can hope for. My adult child offered to come over the school hols, but (as much as I'd like to see them all) they would have a 7 month and a 5 year old with them and the dog is known to snap and snarl at small people so I'd have to be super vigilant and keep him separated (i.e. shut in a room most of the time) - I'm just not up to that on top of my other duties here, plus it wouldn't be good for the dog. I feel I need at least bro or sil to be here to manage the dog if adult child and family are to visit.

It feels like all I'm seeing today is the negatives. It's good to be able to talk it out here.

Thanks to everyone who's responded about this stuff.

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