FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

18,701 - 18,710 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds much more do-able @eth - certainly not having to access that part of the property at all will keep him at arms length more. I do understand your fears and that it comes from a place of knowing all too well about those kind of negative interactions. I hope he stays out of your way and you don't have to deal with him at all while you bro and sil are away. I'm on holidays now so will be around a bit more during the day - tag me anytime you need to unload or chat - happy to do that for you Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's lovely to be feeling so heard and cared for here. Thanks again @Zoe7

And hi to you too @Maggie I meant to reply earlier but went out unexpectedly.

Just had dinner with bro and sil and covered the rest of the things on the list I'd made. So I'm as ready as I can be to do the month alone. All I can do is take it one day at a time. Had some good news this afternoon too but can't talk about it at this stage. Something I've wanted to get into for quite some time now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Any good news is positive @eth and even better that it is something you have wanted for quite some time. Super happymfor you for whatever it is.

So glad you have covered the things on your list with bro and sil - hopefully that helps ease your mind a little. We are of course here with you throughout this month - you are not alone Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Zoe7 , @Mazarita , @Bunniekins , @saturnzoon

Hugs @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I won't know more about it until next week, but am looking forward to that a lot. Are you looking forward to the new venture that starts for you next week? I can't remember what it's called.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm on a panel that is deciding some awards in the area of suicide prevention @eth but can't say anymore than that. It is a pretty big thing for me - such an honour to be asked. Nominations closed today and we meet next week to go through them.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh that's right @Zoe7 I remember now. I am sure you will have a lot to offer. The issue has touched my life in a couple of different ways so if you ever want to talk about it with me ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth I think I have a pretty good handle on staying detached with it all now otherwise I would not have felt I could be on the panel. I am on the panel from a lived experience perspective so I bring something different to the other members on the panel who have been chosen for their specific roles in their respective organisations.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning to @Zoe7 @Mazarita @eth @Shaz51 @saturnzoon @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Adge @BryanaCamp @TAB (hope today is better for you TABs) and all who pass by today wihing every one a super pea day today :). Did my qi gong and tai chi yesterday (thought of you eth with your water tai chi) instead of a walk and thoroughly enjoyed it (the weather was so iffy). Ex is coming up to pick up son2 and take him overnight which is great. GIves me time to spend with daughter and clean up this house. I should do some gardening .... as I say I should do some gardening lol will probably leave it like that . Will do heaps of washing instead 🙂

To all the formites whatever your plans I hope you all have a super pea day :)xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7😮 what are you doing up at this ungodly hour Zoe7?

18,701 - 18,710 of 27,230