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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone. Hope today starts nicely for you all. @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Exoplanet @BryanaCamp @Shaz51 @Adge @Appleblossom @outlander @saturnzoon @Razzle @Faith-and-Hope @Teej and anyone else around here this morning - best wishes for a peaceful and productive day.

Wondering if you're around now @Bunniekins

Hope you're feeling stronger daily @Adge

Will catch up on notifications and posts now and respond more shortly.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 the workshop was excellent. As expected everyone there had their own experiences of trauma. 3 of them were also academics writing about different aspects of it, 2 of them for PhD's. Most had been writing for some years in one form or another. It was great to feel I held my own in such a gathering of minds. The facillitator was amazing. She included discussion on the safety (or not) and ethics of writing trauma which was fascinating, plus we all had opportunity to write a couple of pieces on the day and have critique by the whole group. This part was extremely encouraging. Any style/genre we wanted including 'hybrid' approaches. And went through an extensive list of readings. And have sooo many references to follow up on. I'm so glad I gave myself the gift of attending the day and also that I lasted the distance as it was 6 hours. Also did the transport independently with Shebah rides so that was another significant step for me on independence.

Had a lovely time with my close friend (C) overnight Thursday too. So great to see her. We went to a Thai restaurant for dinner. It was great to be able to catch up with her without her partner (S). Not that I don't like the partner, she's lovely in her own way, but she can be really clingy and not create space for other friends. C rang her to tell her she'd arrived safely and we skyped with her and shortly afterwards C received a message saying S felt she'd wanted to get off the call as quickly as possible and sarcastic about C spending time with me. I was glad to see C decide not to respond. It was so unnecessary, and frankly she was just wrong. It's the first time C has done anything without her since they got together.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So many positives for you the lasat couple of ays @eth I am so pleased you got so much out of the workshop, It was a long day for you but I bet you find as I do that doing something you enjoy the time seems to go much quicker. It does sound like there were many different people there that you could also learn from and I bet you more than held your own amongst the group - so happy for you that the group was encourgaging with what you wrote on the day - huge kudos for doing that and sharing so openly - that is a pretty big deal

I love that your friend didn't respond to that message - that is the best way to discontinue any sarcasm or nastiness. It sounds like you had a lovely dinner and a good catch up - another thing to celebrate Hon.

I am suer impressed that you got to and from the workshop on your own via Shebah - that is a big step for you too

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Zoe7 How are you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth I am okay. Had a nap this morning and will probably have another one today. Feeling tired and body weary but it is the weekend so I can rest up. Despite being tired I actually feel okay today. I don't have anything planned or that I need to do for the weekend either so can take it easy and that is a good thing before the last week at work before the holidays.

It was so lovely to hear all about the workshop and also your friend's visit - 2 really positive things in a row for you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How nice and rare for you to have a weekend free @Zoe7 Your current job seems to involve a lot less advance planning than last year's. I'm so glad you found a position that works so much better for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have very little planning to do for this current role @eth and most of what I do have to do I can do at work in my times off. I have a little to do this weekend but it doesn't necessarily need brain power - just some sorting and recording - and that is pretty easy to do.

Do you have any plans for this weekend Hon?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I have a support worker this afternoon for 3 hours. No plan beyond walking to the local Aldi (about 1km each way) for a few things. Maybe do some online stuff with her after that. And possibly catch up on NDIS filing and journal of supports that I haven't done for a couple of months. I have a free home day tomorrow but will spend some of it doing my bridge homework. And as always I should get on the exercise bike. Just 10 min every day would make so much difference to my fitness. I missed water tai chi both days this week so could do with some exercise.

OOOOKKKKK my sw just phoned in sick. They offered me another one but I've never met her and am just as happy to have a free day today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @CheerBear ! How are you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A free day sounds good @eth You can do some of your bridge homework today and spred it over the two days.

How is your bottom feeling? Is it healing up okay?

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