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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes microwave meals is the way to go @Bunniekins Thanks for reminding me.

I would never say no to Baked Beans on Toast, especially with cheese! Yum, parsley is an extra bonus.

Thanks @Shaz51 I was not supposed to be on a liquid diet, when I came out of hospital 4 years ago.

It's just that I was so weak (& got weaker), that drinking protein drinks was all that I could do.

I had been "nil by mouth" (fed via drip) for most of my time in hospital, until only a few days before I went home.

I tell you what, when I finally got my first solid meal in hospital (not via drip), after about 12 days in there - I heartily ate the lot, then got a massive stomach ache.....

My stomach was not used to having food in it (after almost 2 weeks).

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That was tough @Shaz51 With your having to do everything for your Mum, when she came home.

I remember the hospital staff were so rude (2015 reversal surgery) - they said "Get your brother to look after you, when you go home".

I said, "No, he lives in NSW on the other side of the country", "All my relatives live on the other side of the country".

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I just made myself Baked Beans on Toast, in your honour @Bunniekins

With cheese, & some curry powder to spice it up a bit.

Thanks for reminding me of that yummy healthy meal option.

Maybe not quite as nice as the one you make?

Adg

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge 🙂 Good morning Adge. Happy that you had your baked beans I will try mine with some curry powder next time 🙂 Do you have a Woolies or Coles nearby? They do prepared salads which might help you after your operation. Can you do home delivery if driving is too much for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all @Bunniekins @Adge @Shaz51 @CheerBear @Mazarita @outlander @Exoplanet @Zoe7 @Appleblossom

Looks like it was quiet here yesterday. I went to the farm with my bro on Saturday afternoon and came back yesterday afternoon. So peaceful and the stars were incredibly bright sat night as there was so little moon. Spent the morning studying the notes I've made from bridge lessons from sil's mum in anticipation of starting the beginner's lessons at the local bridge club this morning. She will take me and I think she's staying for this first one. Feeling a bit nervous about joining a new group but telling myself everyone else will be new too.

Really hope the hospital gives you more support this time @Adge and I think @Bunniekins 's made some good suggestions re m/w meals, home delivery and so forth. You could make some of your favourite things before then and freeze them.

Aside from medical support afterwards, perhaps try to speak to a social worker at the hospital before your op - they should be able to organize home support for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth 😊 great to hear you had a peaceful getaway. It's so lovely to see the night sky like that 💙 Hope your bridge class goes well. Again well done to you pushing yourself to try new things even when they feel a little scary!

I have a nice day ahead hopefully - that's the plan anyway! I'm off to get my hair cut soon which I'm really looking forward to. I have a style that is definitely part of 'me' (enough that people refer to me as CheerBear with that hairstyle). It's been too long to style it so I've been more 'CheerBear who looks like a sheepdog' for the last little while and have felt pretty blegh about it. Hoping having my hair back will give me a bit of a lift. Then I'm planning on spending some time making some squares for a new blanket. I should also hear from my support coordinator about some NDIS referrals and a request to have my plan reviewed today 🤞

Sorry to hear you're in the situation you are @Adge. Really hope you can have something sorted that will make the tricky time ahead easier for you.

👋 and ❤ to all. Hope Monday has started well for everyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet I took this one for you 🙂

I was taken for a walk by my little mate above on the weekend 😍 I'm much more of a cat person than a dog person but they're growing on me and I'm learning lots about them. The lesson in this moment was that it is best to find sticks that aren't as wide as the path you're walking along if you can. And also that calling a dog with a branch in their mouth to come to you will probably hurt your shins! 😆

🐕❤🐶

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins

Hi @eth

Yes I will have frozen meals lined up, in fridge.

I get a frozen meal delivery - it's a matter of making myself eat it.

When weak & very tired, I virtually don't feel I can eat.

I won't be able to easily drive for a week or so, after surgery - so will need to stock up on supplies (before).

I haven't slept most of last night, so am a zombie right now.

Have a good day everyone.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @CheerBear

I will be good, I intend.

This will be the 4th surgery, directly caused (or made necessary) by my previous 3 bowel surgeries.

So that explains the angst.

Also having been sent to hospital via ambulance 4 times in December (last year) - has made the process (or anticipation) more triggering...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It sounds like you had a wonderful weekend away @eth So nice to be able to go somewhere to relax and wonderful that it was a clear night and you could see so many stars. Good luck at Bridge - hope you really enjoy it and don't feel too anxious being in a new group of people.

@CheerBear I have an image of a cheerbear with a sheepdog hair style and it made me giggle - hope your haircut is perfect and you feel a little better after having it cut.

@Adge Is your surgery this week? I know you have been waiting a long time for it so hoping it is so you can begin to heal nd be in less pain.

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