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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Adge how are you today?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth

Thanks for your well-wishes.

This surgery in 3 weeks time - is a direct result of my emergency bowel surgeries 3 & 1/2 years ago.

They took the staples out too early, they admitted.

The surgery wound split - they refused to re stitch or re staple it closed.

A massive scar had to form to close the wound - A very weak area, with my abdominal muscles having been so badly damaged.

So I've had a huge bulge (serous hernia) there for over 12 months - in fact it's been there virtually the past 3 & 1/2 years (since bowel surgeries).

The main scar is 30 cm long - & they're going to open me up all over again.

4th surgery.

I never wanted to see another hospital ever again...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth I'm trying to make myself go to my yoga class (right now).

It's my main motivating thing to look forward to.

I don't feel up to it, too tired & dopey.

But I should go anyway.

I hope you have a really good day.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So sorry to hear what you have to go through @Adge . Hope you enjoy your yoga class.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Exoplanet

soo good you had some rain @eth , it poured again last night and today

Hello @Mazarita , @Adge , @Bunniekins , @CheerBear

oh @Adge , my mum has been in hospital 3 times already this year xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge Poor Adge so sorry you have to go through yet more surgery. How long will you be in hospital? Will you have support when you get home? It is awful what has happened to you. I just hope this time they get it right and that you get well asap. greenpea xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 Hi Shaz51 we had a huge thunderstorm here last night but not nearly enough rain. Please send some of yours down this way. Hope you are well. Love greenpea xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 3 times in hospital this year already, for your Mum - Oh, that's not good.

Hi @Bunniekins Thanks.

Hopefully just 4 days in hospital, as the surgeon said.

Although still several weeks of recovery, after that.

No, there's no support, I'm home alone.

4 years ago - Nothing was given me when I left hospital (after 16 days in & 2 emergency bowel surgeries).

I went home so weak that I couldn't cook for myself (or barely eat) - so I survived for 3 days on protein drinks only, & got much weaker.

Then I had to argue hard for a support package (from the hospital) - & only then did they arrange for a carer to come every day (for 2 weeks), to cook me a meal.

So finally I ate my first meal, about 4 days after coming out of hospital.

It is very hard to get them to agree to give you a support package - they just told me "Get your family to look after you".

I said "I have no family here" (in this state or city).

Hopefully I will not have a repeat of that experience, this time - although I will have to care for myself (at home after), because there is no one else here.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge can you stock up on microwave meals? Just to get you through fhe first few days? It is so unfair that you were treated so poorly. If only I was there you could have some of my world famous baked beans on toast with cheese and parsley 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

love to send some rain to you my super @Bunniekins , it rained soo much again last night xx

Hugs @Adge , we were the same with mum , no one helped and I did everything for mum but with her liquid diet was a learning experience , mum has worked out what she can`t eat

she makes lots of soups and then strains the soup and drinks the liquid , and have to have a low fibre diet

sending you knowing hugs

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