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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Setting those boundaries from the beginning will help you move forward @eth A good thing to do

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What are you up to today @Zoe7 @Bunniekins ?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Housework mainly today @eth Still have a lot of things spread out around the house that I have been sorting out so need to make a dent in putting those things away. Need to head to the shop soon to get a couple of things also. Have to wait until pay day Wednesday to get everything I need but have enough money to get a couple of things today to get me thriugh the next few days.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you start to feel organized over the day @Zoe7 . It's awful when the budget is so tight isn't it. Glad to hear at least you will have enough to get thru' to Wednesday.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It will ease up a bit in a month or so @eth once I have been back to work and a few bills have been paid. Looking forward to having regular income coming in again that is for sure. I am only working 4 days so it will be a little less than I used to get but I should be more than I was getting on income protection - definitely hoping so anyway.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Well I have done some gardening sith son2. It was a token effort but better than nothing. Might do some more this afternoon if the weather isn't too hot. What have you got on?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Bunniekins I managed to get my garden watered this morning before the heat hits again. I hope you can get back into the garden this afternoon and it isn't too hot for you. I still have a lot to do inside so can stay out of the heat to do all that this afternoon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Hi Zoe7 🙂 and good morning (just!). It will be another hot day where we are so hoping to get lots of washing done if nothing else :). What time are you heading off tomorrow? Have you got friendly butterflies in your tummy :)?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'll leave about 8am so I get there in plenty of time and find a park. There is a very small carpark so not many can park in there - have to find one in the street near the school @Bunniekins I dont have butterflies yet but I exect I will tonight. Just trying to take today as it comes but I do know tomorrow I will be super nervous. It is all going to be very overwhelming to begin with but I have to take it as it comes and see what happens. I can only do what I can do though and hope that is enough. I have been having 'what f I am not good enough' feelings since Friday but trying to push them down until I actually get there and get started.

There is some housework I would like to get done today so will be staying inside out of the heat myself.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 You know you will be fine and the kids will all love you :). It is very exciting. I will be thinking of you tomorrow xxxx

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