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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Bunniekins Tomorrow and Tuesday are student free days so I won't be meeting any kids until Thursday. I don't know what I will be doing or in what classes so it is all going to be a bit new for me. I can only do what I can though and I suspect there will be a lot of re-learning I have to do - I am prepared for that though and will put in whatever effort I need to to get up to speed on how the school works.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Back again @Zoe7 @Bunniekins I completely zoned out while posting earlier so I went to bed and slept for more than an hour. Maybe my mind protecting me from elevated anxiety.

Gardening with your son sounds nice @Bunniekins . But staying out of the heat is important too. You're right about washing tho' - it's a great day for drying, as they say.

@Zoe7 Good attitude there. Just remaining as open to change as possible and doing what you can is enough. Take it easy today, be gentle with yourself. Sounds like you have Mon to Wed without students to get prepared for them. You've got this!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Mazzy 🙂 hope you are out dangling your feet in the cool water nearby or resting after doing hours of videos. Whatever you are up to today may you have a kind and 'pea'cefull day. Love greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth you will be fine eth as I say maybe when he calms down he might tone down the swearing (I hate swearing too as it is so aggressive). Just remember you have your cabin as your sanctuary for a break if he gets too much.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love from me too @Mazarita xx

@Bunniekins today is a rest day before a busier than usual week, the start of getting out 5 days a week instead of 3. Looking forward to the creative writing workshop tomorrow. It will be the first time I catch a Shebah ride to somewhere I haven't been before, with a new group of people. I got out my journal and my poetry/prose collection so will probably read over some of that this afternoon. I really want this workshop to kickstart my writing again - have only done a wee bit in the last 15 months or so. I miss the flow of words through me that happens most when I'm elevated.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

2 x SNAP!! @Bunniekins we're posting at the same time

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wednesday is my day of to do DBT and attend appointments @eth I need to find a way to make it all work and approaching Wednesdays as a rest day as well - so when I come home I will try to do things for myself. I know the more I get into the job the more I will have to do so hoping I get eased into it for the first few weeks. I think part of doing any job well is also stating when there are things you can't do and getting support to help you with those things - very much hoping this is the type of environment that will help with those things.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth you are storming ahead eth!!!:) will be thinking of you tomorrow as well as Zoe7 both heading off and being so brave. I think it is fantastic. I cannot wait to hear how you go tomorrow with your Shebah ride and your course. Like Zoe7 you will rock it!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Bunniekins

@Zoe7 I agree about saying no or asking for help sometimes. Both part of self-care in my opinion. You sound like you're thinking very positively about it all, and sensibly in terms of pacing yourself. In a couple of weeks you'll have a routine happening and everything organized I'm sure.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @Zoe7 Ladies I am going to try and get a nanna nap. I will hopefully catch you both later 🙂 xxxx

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