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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I tried exposure therapy @Adge but it re-traumatised me so we had to stop. That is when I originally stopped seeing my psych - back now seeing her but only as a support person where I can talk about more general things happening in my life. My pdoc has helped me work through some things and was of the opinion from an early stage that exposure therapy was not the right therapy for me - but I didn't start with her until much later so had already been seeing the psych for some time. Trying now to look forward rather than back whilst still working on how my past has shaoed who I am now. It is a real balancing act but DBT is helping in that too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7

The socialising is only occurring in breaks at music events with chats travelling home on train. I am doing things that have a lot of people involved. The 2 major projects had very different cultures; one was more rad than the other. It helped ground me (to compare them) when things did go pear shaped when a cocky young lady was insulting. The next day I said I thought it would be nice if she apologised, she did, but turned it around to look as if I had aggressed her. I was careful not demand it, but she was big on crocodile tears.

I also get confused if by some body language, as not sure if someone is smiling at me, or the people around or behind me.

I know I am slow. I am probably learning things in my 50s that many learn in their teens. Its more about not getting thrown by slings or curved balls, allow for some level of competitiveness, and flow with anything good. Still a bit awkward, even stunned when people are nice to me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You sound like you did the right thing confronting the rude person - standing by your values and asking her to account for her behaviour - that takes courage @Appleblossom - super impressed by that Hon

You deserve for people to be nice to you - so go with the flow and accept all that comes you way.

I am heading off forum now to try to get to sleep early. Lovely catching up with you tonight though Apple

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Trying to look forward, whilst working on how your past has shaped who you are now

- yes that is a real balancing act @Zoe7

My psychologist won't do EMDR with me, because she thinks it would (might) bring up too many traumas (all at once).

The Referral & assessment process for community MH DBT programs here is horrendous.

Waitlists are 12 months or longer, with only a slim chance of getting in as a "community client" (they told me).

Unless you've been a psych hospital inpatient - & were referred to community MH services via Discharge Plan (when coming out of hospital). Then you are "short-listed".

I was never a psych hospital inpatient - so I'm having to source privately-run DBT programs, if available.

These privately run DBT programs, run through psychologist's practices - are only short 5 week programs (not the full DBT program), & are more expensive.

Plus they keep cancelling (not running) the groups, because of lack of numbers.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sucks about the DBT programs @Adge They shuld be available to everyone with MI whether people have been admitted to hospital or not. The course itself would be beneficial to most people with MI - I am glad I stuck with it as I have got a lot out of it. The biggest thing I have got out of it is not necessarily the skills we go through but the conversations I have with my pdoc afterwards.

I was the same with EMDR - too traumatising for me so had to stop. So I can certainly understand why your psychologist won't do it with you. Sometimes that looking back is too hard for us but we can never forget - just learn to live with the best we can.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all @Zoe7 @Mazarita @Adge @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @CheerBear @Shaz51 @Exoplanet @outlander and anyone else I forgot to tag that might be around this morning. I haven't read back posts yet but wanted to say hi and I hope today is going ok for all so far before I do read back and try to answer tags etc.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear and @Adge yes that was a quote from Catweazel. Another favourite of mine was the 'telling bone'!

Hoping no-one minds a long post trying to respond to all who tagged me since yesterday.

Hoping the night passed without more nightmares/flashbacks for those of us that have them. I had a vivid dream about some friends up north having a death in their family and having an open casket viewing in their lounge room. Will check that they're ok later today.

@Adge I feel for you with the flashbacks about police and A&E - I've been in that way a few times too. Police can be so traumatising, especially if they handle you roughly. They can cause MH problems to escalate instantly. So of course you're in a state by the time they get you there. Feel for you strongly on this topic. Delayed reactions that you describe (if I understood you right) are a common part of CPTSD. I have it too on top of bipolar 1. So hard when your whole life has been one trauma after another and compounded by the way others have treated you when in crisis. Some things that I thought of as one event my psychologist has broken into 4 or more concurrent traumas. We've spent over a year doing a trauma map in between dealing with more current events. The goal is to do EMDR, which we have now started, on what she calls 'the first, worst, and most recent' events. But other events keep coming up along the way. EMDR is said to be strongly indicated as successful therapy for PTSD so I'm giving it a try. It stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. So far we're not doing the eye movements, but using little pulsing units that I hold in each hand and they pulse alternately while I go deep into the details of an event. The theory is that we get to a point where we remember without reliving and stop having traumatic flashbacks or being triggered so easily into flight/fright/freeze responses. Figure it's worth a good try because CBT, DBT and mindfulness training haven't changed anything much, nor did old-school psychotherapy (Jung, Froyd etc). I read recently that that's because us with CPTSD aren't just 'what if'ing about what might happen (as with chronic anxiety), we are fearing things happening again that have actually already happened. Hope that makes sense.

Just read back and saw that you and Zoe have both already considered EMDR and ruled it out, but I think I'll leave this post here anyway.

s back to you too @Zoe7. School goes back here today and I'm wondering if you've heard anything about a new placement yet. The waiting must be frustrating.

Best wishes to all who see this.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Good morning eth 🙂 wishing you a wonderful day. Can thoroughly recommend t he movie there is only one part which is a bit slow with son2 got restless in .... when you see it I am sure you will pick it out. Was fun driving at night for a change. Had a slight panic attack when I was coming into the theatre but thankfully they were not that busy so was able to take deep breaths and calm down so that I could talk lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the recommendation @Bunniekins Glad you enjoyed it. Sorry to hear about the panic moment but glad you were able to breathe through it. I haven't even driven in the day time for over 2 years now - I'm sure I wouldn't cope at all driving at night. Well done!

How's your day looking? I'm going by Shebah for the first time in about 3 months, with my sw to water tai chi. It's a practice run because sw isn't available to take me to the psychologist tomorrow so I'll be using Shebah by myself then. Just got invited by sil to go with them to see a flamenco music performance tonight. Will be great for a change to get out for sheer entertainment, not just for things I need to do.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Thanks eth. I always admire you though the way you get out and about and do so many things eg: your travel. You are quite the adventurer. Can you tell me what Shebah is? I have never heard of it before.

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