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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins Shebah is an alternative to Uber, with only female drivers for only female passengers and children. It would be fantastic if only their app worked the way it's meant to. Luckily I have the phone numbers of a couple of their drivers. I've tried repeatedly to book in advance on my phone app but with no success. So even tho' it's fabulous if I can get out by myself, there's a lot of anxiety involved, which is why it's been so long since I used them.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth What a great idea as you say if it works. I only have cabs here. I rather enjoy taking a cab as I find the drivers on the whole very interesting.to talk with. Some of the stories I have heard would curl you hair :D. Have to go out with son2 to his psychiatrist soon. Have a good day eth. Love gp xxxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Very glad to read that long post about your therapy.

Very glad that she is actually applying approaches and offering strategies in the therapy room, apart from being a "nice person and listening", which is often not enough.

Over my life I have never really been able to afford the appropriate level of therapy so a lot of journey has been self researched, heard from word of mouth and applied my odd way, with very little help from a few sessions most years.

I will raise the idea of doing a "trauma map" next psych appointment. The visual of it will be good to balance the narrative side which we have already worked on. I have pdoc today but doubt it is appropriate for him. If they are not interested I will try it by myself. Recently with seeing the lawyer I started tracing and connecting circumstance, cause and consequence with all the sexual abuses and complications that occurred in my childhood and early teens. Then to work on other aspects like abandonments and poverty.

@Adge @Bunniekins @Mazarita

@Zoe7 In the band camp during the day, we were so focussed on NOT falling prey to "witchy bitchy" stereotypes, but in the opera we were told to act it out for dramatic effect. I told the young madam, that womyn were moving on from being witchy and bitchy to each other and that you never know what others are "carrying".

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good on you for standing up for yourself and others in that respect @Appleblossom You don't need to be fuelling those type of stereotypes as was suggested in the opera group - it is not necessary at all - so well done on stating your point of view

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth Thanks for your experiences, I can very much relate.

No I have not ruled out EMDR - I very much wanted to do it. It's my psychologist, who so far wouldn't do it with me.

In the meantime, I've had hypnotherapy (hypnosis) sessions over the past few years - which I found very helpful.

Some experts say that hypnosis is more effective than EMDR, it depends on the opinion (& person).

You are so right about fearing things happening again that we have actually already experienced (have already happened).

It's not a case of fearing what might happen, I've already been through that.

Yes, things were very much compounded by the way people treated me during crisis - during most of December last year.

Things had never escallated to that extent - I couldn't distance myself from their reactions (& behaviour), because my brother was staying with me in my house (& refused to give me space, or leave).

I can relate to that.

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm glad you have positive experiences with DBT @Zoe7

That may motivate me to pursue it further.

I am on the waiting list for a short 5 week DBT group.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

5 weeks is a very short time-frame for DBT @Adge How many days/hours does that entail? I hope you get into the course quickly though - and even more so I hope you get something out of it. It certainly has helped me a lot since I started it.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

School for us goes back next week @eth so while there is still time it is getting way too late to get things organised. I can see that I will be spending days off and weekends for a while getting things organised. I rang HR this morning and still no word - they are waiting to hear back from Principals regarding my placement and until that happens it can not progress any further. I have been assured that it will be done by the time school begins next week but it is all going to be a rush and that really is not what I ideally need - but it is what it is and I am trying not to get too stressed about that which I cannot change!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7

Those 5 week DBT Group courses are just one aspect (component) of the full DBT program.

It's just a 2 hour group, once a week, for 5 weeks.

The topic is Managing Emotional Distress.

That's all that seems to be available, in terms of privately run groups.

The full DBT program is only available through Public MH services (here).

It's hard to access or gain entry to (rigorous assessment & referrals process) - that full DBT program (group & individual therapy) goes for a full year (12 months).

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the info @Adge Managing Emotional Distress is worthwhile doing even in that shortened form - it would give you some skills you can work with. It is not the ideal way to do DBT as the group and individual sessions work hand-in-hand with each other - especially when the group session brings up issues or triggers that you then follow up with you indivudal counsellor (whether that be a pdoc or psych).

It would be great if you could get into that full year program - certainly worth still trying to get onto.

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