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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Delicate but alright. Been working really hard, and thrown in deep end socially, which is great in some ways but also draining. A lot of big egos in the one project, which is to be expected. I guess I need to teach myself to accept it as part of that particular experience, but quietly back away from. I do feel some appreciation there, amongst the hustle.

Thanks for asking @Zoe7

How are you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No lol @Adge

Drawing is not my outlet, but I find engaging with art and drawings helpful to shift some of moods.

It was a bit random, but I think of you as very naturalistic and out bush ... kind of ...

Do you have many roos around?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Use those support lines if you need @Adge - sometimes it does help to talk things through. ...and of course we are here as well when you need to write things out.

It is great that you have a journal you write in to help you when you need it also.

Families can be the cause of so much of our 'grief' and just like you I have become more indepenednt because of my history. Re-triggering events are difficult to deal with and can bring up so much - not easy to deal with at all. Defintiely hearing you on that one @Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It sounds like you are navigating the social side of the group you are working in well @Appleblossom.

I am okay - a few things on my mind but have been dealing with those today by sleeping a lot - too hot and windy to be out in the garage this afternoon so I haven't done much else but sleep and watch boring tv. Going to feed my fur babies and try to get a few things done soon though so the day is not competely wasted.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes art is helpful @Appleblossom

No Roos in my suburb (too built up) - I don't have to go far to find some though.

Large natural bushland areas nearby, where there are hundreds...

Maybe that's an exaggeration - dozens at least...

& an Echidna, the only Echidna that I ever saw in the bush (instead of in a zoo).

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sometimes rest and sleep is a valid response. Can help process things more calmly and not overreact.

Hope the cool of the evening is coming.

@Zoe7

My socialising is going along, with a hiccup, but still in it .... Fingers crossed

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm glad that you @Zoe7 & other people here can relate.

Virtually no-one I know in person does - although I'm working on that one.

Past family (is) the source of most of my grief.

Yet people still say to me "you should move back over there with them".....?!!

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It is so hard for people who don't have the same experiences as us to understand how hard it is to deal with the sources of our grief. We know how much we are affected by things in our past and how much that continues to be an issue in our daily lives @Adge We learn to live with some things but others are constant reminders of what we have been through. Those people that tell you to move have no idea of what you deal with. You need to do what is right for you and that seems very much to be as far away from family as you alredy are. I hope you have people in your life soon that can understand where you are coming from and can support @Adge.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Fingers crossed here for you also @Appleblossom. You certainly seem to be busy of late and that is a good thing. I hope you are coontinuing to enjoy your music as well as the socialising.

Going to cool of to the late teens tonight and then late 20s tomorrow - the wind has dropped tonight so that is a good thing. If it stays that way tomorrow I might be able to get some things done outside again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well said @Zoe7

December last year (just passed) was about the biggest month for constant reminders, that I've ever had.

Desensitising oneself to triggers - exposure therapy they call it.

That's supposed to be helpful - although certainly not when "flooded with triggers" & reminders.

It's been really hot here. I just did some shopping, so some sense of achievement.

Thanks.

Adge

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