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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Good morning eth :D! your meals sound super yummy as usual :). Going to the farm sounds a lovely way to spend New Years Eve :):)

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap!! @Mazarita Good to see you too and glad you're still here @CheerBear. Wow Maz it sounds like you've been really busy. Hope the creative expression has you feeling inspired.

Thanks CB.

What do you guys have planned for seeing in the new year?

Just catching up on posts and tags now.

Snap!! with you too @Bunniekins!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I don't have plans @eth. I'm not a huge fan of NYE at all and often have very quiet ones. Last year the kids and I spent the evening playing board games, listening to music and watching fireworks on TV. We'll probably do a similar thing this year 🙂 Yours sounds like it will be fun though! Is that something you usually do for new years?

Morning to you also @Bunniekins 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth@Mazarita@CheerBear@Exoplanet Good morning to everyone :D. It will be a hot one here around 36 degrees!!!:o so this lil pea will stay safely inside her shell :). Isn't it exciting a new year is just ahead of us with all the hope it will bring to be an even better year than 2018. Yay for New years!xxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Plus it is the |Chinese year of the Pig! Which is a good year 🙂 I am a Dragon. Pigs and Dragons get along well apparently if you believe in this sort of thing which I do I am not embarrassed to say lol 😛

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good idea keeping out of the heat @Bunniekins. I'll be camping the next few nights but it will most likely be too hot to spend much time in my tent during the day. But there's a big shed with comfy furniture and a huge veranday where I can hang out. And 2 rivers to swim in if I can brave the cold water (I'm a complete woos with cold water after so many years in the tropics!).

I've only been here 2 years @CheerBear but bro and sil usually go to their communal farm for NYE so it's becoming a thing for me too. Hoping the crowd won't be too big this year but it seems to be growing. There's the shareholders and their kids, their friends and family, friends of friends and even friends of friends of friends who have heard about the place. Last year there were around 200 people!!!! Bro and sil are also hoping it's not that busy this year. But it sounds like it will be. Anything over about 15 people is a challenge for me. But having my tent away from the crowded areas will mean I can retreat if I need to.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth! So good that you are here for a chat too! Your cooking for the farm sounds so delicious. Leek tart and pesto, oh yum, I wish I was there to eat it!

@CheerBear, my close (at a distance) friend in country Victoria contacted me about the death of the mother of three women I also know from my visits to that town over many years. The memorial service for the mother was yesterday and I was asked to make a video for it from a piece of her writing. It involved working on the organisation and actual making of it from midday Wednesday straight through until about 8am the next morning, including being awake all night. It's the fastest I've ever made a video and a real challenge due to the extreme time constraint, but I wanted to do it for their sake, and that of my friend who asked me if I'd contribute. I don't think she realised how much work involved in me making a video, and was a bit shocked that I was staying up all night to do it when it came to that. I wan't sure I'd make the deadline but was determined to give it a go, and succeeded in a way that was satisfying to both me and to them. I was told you could hear a pin drop when the video was playing at the service and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Much gratitude came my way. It felt so good to add comfort and meaning to this time of their loss.

How have you both been in my absence, which was not that long by any real world standard, but in forum time seems quite a stretch. Funny thing how we seem to live in a different time dimension here, isn't it?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What a special thing to do @Mazarita and an amazing gift at a difficult time. It sounds stressful, though those feelings of being able to add comfort and meaning maybe make it worth it ❤

Forum time is so funny compared to not-forum time! It feels like ages that you've been gone 😆 I've been OK thanks. Big, cats and I returned home after being away and will collect the rest of the crew today bringing them all.home tomorrow. We had a lovely day together yesterday just the two of us, and we set up their new desk and took a trip to Officeworks to collect school supplies. They are stoked with it all! I'm happy to be home. It was nice being away but a bit much in a few ways at times.

How's today looking for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

WOW @Mazarita what a special thing to do for your friends. Just goes to prove how kind and generous you are.

Your peaceful NYE sounds good to me @CheerBear. My last 17 at least NYEs before coming to live here were very quiet too. I didn't feel like I was missing anything. I usually would have a small fire in the back yard in an old weber I reused as a fire pit. Hoping it's not a total fire ban while we're at the farm but it's looking like it might be.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's nice to be around a fire @eth, though a fire with 200 people sounds a bit scary!

There are lots of parts of the 31/12 (particularly the drinking) that I struggle with, as well as having memories of one evening that really turned bad for me. I like hiding out away from it all 🙂
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