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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hear you @CheerBear. I get it. Anniversaries of awful events can be very hard. Hope that being surrounded by your loved ones and having a peaceful time means the triggers aren't to many or intense. And maybe you'll get to create some new happy memories.

Australia Day is one for me. I usually retreat completely.

As far as having a fire with that many people goes I agree with you. At the least the hand built cob pizza oven will be fired up for a pizza night NYE. But depending on the weather, there are large piles of debris cleared when fencing was done recently that the guys plan to burn off at some stage. The group has a pretty comprehensive fire plan (needed for the development application, but something it's sensible to have on a property anyway) but large numbers of people will involve higher risk for sure. And some of the people who visit aren't particularly cautious or sensible (you get some in every crowd!).

I'll have to finish packing and get organised for cooking shortly. May make it back here after that's taken care of depending on bro and sil's plans re departure time.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Bunniekins. Wow it's busy in here this morning! I always get excited at the time of new year, love the ritual of putting to rest an old year and starting a fresh one anew. Do you have any for NYE? I've heard dragon year people are lucky for others to be around. I am a water tiger, which makes me a lion (western astrology) and tiger (chinese astrology) both! Rooooaaaarrrrr!

@eth, I think we will be joining our close friend and her brother, and at least one of his friends, to see fireworks over the inlet of a river on NYE. We've done this with them once before. It's a smallish event, but not that small, just enough people to feel like you are part of a community celebration, but not so many that it feels like an awful big crowd. It's over the not-too-distant state border and in a different time zone to us! So we'll probably be back home to celebrate midnight here too. Sounds great that you are celebrating at the farm again, and that you have a space to retreat to if the crowd gets too much. Hope you enjoy!

@CheerBear, I tried to stay centred and calm as much as possible, and take breaks while making the video, which worked to some extent, though as you might imagine, I was also a bit pumped trying to get it done in time. It was worth making the creative effort for this worthwhile purpose, even though it came at a time when I am already unusually busy with other projects as well. But there's still enough room with the other projects to get them done now, especially as this latest urgent project only involved intense work over less than a full 24 hours!

Today C and I are visiting some friends at a bit of a distance north of here for lunch. We see them only once or twice a year, but that's been over about 10 years now, with some other online contact in between. They are lovely people, a bit older than us. From the moment we met them, the conversation was lively and has remained that way each time we've met. He is a musician and she is an artist, which means we have a lot in common.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for understanding @eth. It was a while ago and for 364 days a year it rarely bothers me, though it has changed me in a way. There have been years where it doesn't get to me even on this one night, though I'm a little more sensitive to particular triggers and generally don't enjoy the hype of it all. I enjoy the freshness of new calendars though and the hope that comes with a new year! Love the idea of the farm and you being part of that community. Sounds pretty great and I hope you have a wonderful (fire safe lol) time away ❤

I agree with @eth in that what you've just done shows your big, kind heart @Mazarita. Do you keep all of your videos?

Sounds like a lovely day ahead for you today. So great to hear you connecting with different people in your life. Your plans for Monday night sound great (cool to have two midnight's also!)

Waving a hi and good morning to you @Zoe7 ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, if I'm not here when you return, just want to send you love and joy on NYE, and a wonderful fresh start to the new year.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Wow you are a tiger!!!! I have never met a tiger before 😄 Yes us Dragons are very lucky being the only mythical creature in the Chinese zodiac but I would say from knowing you tigers are extremely lucky to be around as well :).

I will be spending NYE with my beautiful children. As a child I was always scared of fireworks (I don't know why ... maybe because some people get so stupid with them in the past) I like sparklers and dad used to put them in the ground and light them it looked so pretty like a fairy garden.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @CheerBear @Mazarita @Bunniekins @eth Just reading along this morning. Hope everyone has a lovely day

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, thanks to you and @eth for your kind words about me. To be honest, I'm not that useful to people in a practical sense. Not able to be much of a helper in material ways, though I think that may be improving somewhat over time too. But making videos is my thing and it was great to be able to send love and support that way. Oh yes, I always keep my videos! I have a number of external hard drives for all of the files involved in producing them, and usually keep a lot of the original working files so that I update them if that's needed too.

Hearing you about the difficulty of this time of year for you, and know you have a special senstivity to anniversaries of events. I hope there are many happy anniversaries for you too.

@Bunniekins, I've heard that tigers are lucky in themselves. Though I've often felt burdened by the mental and physical health problems over my life, and frankly sorry for myself at times, in other ways and in better states of mind I recognise that I have been lucky in so many ways, and am grateful for that. That luck includes knowing you, mythical creature that you are in more ways than Chinese astrology I think.

Good morning, @Zoe7. Lovely to see you too. If you feel like chatting at all, I'm interested to hear how you've been and what you might be planning for today. If you are feeling like more of a quiet reading time this morning, that's cool. Hope you have a good day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Hi Zoe7 :). Zoe7 I didn't want to upset you by asking but is @Faith-and-Hope coming back? Where has she gone? If it is too upsetting to talk about that is okay I was just wondering as I came on the tail end of it when she had already left and am a bit confused.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins Our @Faith-and-Hope is overseas at the moment - she is away for a couple of months and as you can no longer post from overseas you are not seeing her around. She can still support posts but not reply to anything - but we know she is still reading and keeping up with us all here by being able to still support posts. As you can imagine I am really missing her but I get a little heartlift each time I see her under the support button.

@Mazarita I am doing okay - it rained here overnight so the washing on the line is of course wet but it is supposed to be in the early 20s today so it should dry eventually.

Like others here I am super impressed at you doing that video in such a short space of time - I do the same with painting when I am really into it - I keep going until I have finished what I set out to achieve. At the moment it is a slow process doing the background of my painting as I need to wait for one part to dry in order to do the next part. Once I get the backgound done I will do the peacock in the centre - it is starting to take shape but there is a long way to go still. Today is going to be a lazy day with more painting and some cleaning.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's so great that you are into your painting at this time, @Zoe7. Sounds like the layering process you describe requires patience, with long sessions of inspiration at other times. I wonder how long you have been painting and whether, like me, it's been a lifeline, or point of focus, in getting through both hard times and good.

I'm not going to be able to wait for the answer to that question as I need to head back to bed for some more sleep now. But if you do respond, I'll read it with interest in non-chat time later.

Hope everyone in this chat this morning, and everyone later reading, has a good day today.

@CheerBear, @Bunniekins, @eth

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