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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well firstly I want to shout out a huge CONGRATULATIONS to @Mazarita. What a wonderful achievement for you and a great time to announce it and acknowledge your accomplishment. I'm really happy for you. As you know I had a similar habit (I was chronic with it) and years battling to give up without relapsing too so I know how massive this is for you. And glad to hear that you are putting the extra $$ to self-care. I think you deserve some kind of special treat like a new dress or shoes or something to celebrate.

Now I'll say good morning to all passing here this fine day : @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Exoplanet and everyone else here.
I've been following conversations but not responding directly much coz I've been exhausted by all the socializing here on our little island in the city. Sil's family guests are still here so yesterday afternoon (after Mum left) I watched the start of the Sydney to Hobart yacht race and rested and came on here, then 8 of us went to the beach (I actually got all the way in in the cool water) and then it was dinner for 9 at sil's mum's house next door. I had more of a feast than on Christmas day as the food was easier for me to handle with my dentures. Then bombed out rather publicly before 9pm (had taken meds as usual at 7 but sometimes they affect me more than other times). Came home and crashed but was still awake every 1 to 1 1/2 hours overnight.

Today I'm starting to get organized for a few days at the farm including New Year. Just checked and we will go on Sat some time so I need to cancel support worker for Sat. Might try and get a couple of hours tomorrow instead if it's possible.

Glad to be having a couple of quiet days at home between now and then.

Hope today is starting peacefully for all and remains cruisy. I'll be around for a while this morning.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Doing okay here @CheerBear - think it will be a rest day for me - extremely tired after the last few days but feeling okay mentally.

I saw that you may need 2 trips which is annoying but I am sure you will get that organised okay.

Hoping to head to the beach with Toby today if I have the energy later today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 and @outlander sorry I forgot to tag you earlier. I'm still a bit brain fazed today. Beach sounds good Zoe.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You have been busy @eth! How are you holding up with all the socialising that you've been doing? Good to hear you have a couple of quiet days ahead before heading away.

Great to hear you're feeling OK mentally @Zoe7. Beach sounds great, though way too hot for that here. We have a little blow up pool that the kids are enjoying splashing around in, and we bought a shell pool for puppy as a Christmas present that he is loving too. Bit cute 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think I missed something @CheerBear - did you get a puppy?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No puppy for us @Zoe7 (yet, though maybe next year) but a puppy has joined our extended clan through two who won't be able to have a human baby without some extra help. He's my lovely little nephew who is a big fan of Aunty CB and the little crew 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @CheerBear having somewhere to splash around where you are sounds more sensible and fun than braving the crowds that will be at the beaches. Sounds like your kids have had a wonderful Christmas. Do you have plans for new year?

Raved about myself on my 2nd last post. Feeling somewhat frayed at the edges but I've gotten through it all fairly well so far. Crashed in front of everyone last night - could hardly keep my head up or eyes open. Hoping there won't be too big a crowd at the farm for NY. Some years it's huge there (200+ last year!!) but as far as I know it's mainly going to be the shareholders and their families.

Just had good news - I had to cancel Saturday's support because of heading to the farm but they've managed to give me a couple of hours tomorrow.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh I see @CheerBear - hopefully next year you can get one yourself - of course you will have to ask Mouse and Noodle lol

I think having Cats first help as they rule the house and the puppy hs to fit in around them - in saying that though we all know that Toby gets most of the attention. Cats do their own thing but dogs need extra attention to keep them happy. It is great that you are seeing the LF playing with the puppy too though - gives you insight into how they will be with their own puppy in the future.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's great news @eth. What do you think you'll get up to with your support worker?

I can imagine some frayed at the edges feelings. It can be a test to have more people than usual around for a while. I felt a bit of it yesterday and had some over it feelings.

No plans for new years though the kids will find something for us to do I'm sure. We did a board games, music and watching fireworks on TV last year which was fun, so maybe similar. Yours sounds big (though hopefully not too big!).

Very true @Zoe7 with watching the little people with a puppy. Littlest has calmed right down by having Noodle and Mouse as they don't tolerate bonkers and will hide. I can see the benefits hugely with having a dog, though the extra work is not hugely appealing and the potential for noodle and mouse to be shaken up by it puts me off a bit. I love kelpies and border collies, as well as labradors/retrievers, but littler may be better, I don't know. Maaaaaybe 🤔🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Mazzy a BIG congratulations on your achievement ditching the herb :D. That is brilliant news as @eth said you should buy yourself something special as a reward for doing so well. Something pretty and feminine maybe :)xxxx

@eth Dear god eth I don't know how you are doing it with all this activity. Well done with everything you have achieved over the Chrissy period. You have done exceptionally well too. 😄 xxxx

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