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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'd be super proud of myself also @Mazarita and really enjoying the feeling of peace about it for you. I have watched someone close who I mention often here struggle hugely through a similar sounding relationship with the same, as well as a very serious issue with alcohol. I have seen the sense of unease that it has brought to their life when they have tried to tackle the first (they're yet to really even try to tackle drink despite all they have been through health wise). Like you, they are walking and taking proof of the addictive nature of it. I fully appreciate how big this is and how proud you might feel and I feel proud with and for you too ❤

Great to hear you got to the beach yesterday too 😊

We will be returning home soon, though I have to figure out how with what will be more than we brought with us and too much for one trip. Maybe tomorrow I'll head home and then come back the next day to collect smaller ones, or something like that.

Today is more cricket and BBQ I think. How about you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again for indulging me with your good feelings about my good feelings (and actions), @CheerBear.

Wasn't aware your friend has some similar issues. I'm guessing it is the friend we often talk about. Wishing the best for them (whoever they might be), in the long run, even better if it turns out to be a shorter run.

Now all I need to do is tackle the tobacco (all I need to do, she says, when it seems like a huge mountain to climb, when unfit and panting just at the thought of it). As you can see, I'm not really ready to tackle that remaining issue quite yet. But it's on my mind (and in the mouths of my medical professionals), to do it, a lot.

Yes, getting to the beach yesterday was a moment of pride for me also (big on pride this morning, lol), as I haven't been for a month or more and really it would have been so easy just to continue obsessively working on my video. But, as could be totally predicted, it was a wonderful experience once I got out there. Walked about 2km up and back along the shoreline, bare feet in the foamy shallows, nothing like it for lifting the senses and grounding the mind.

Sounds like a couple of trips then with the relocation back home. Cricket and barbecue sounds okay for today (if you are into that). I truly hope unwell one is in a better state of being today, or sparing the rest of you from the grief of it if possible.

Today I will be back into the video making. I'm loving this main project so much just now, the soundtrack and words are really moving me as I'm working on it, both by other artists. My job is putting them together in the best way I can. I'll probably start with the image track today too, that is often the hardest part. Aside from that, I need to go to the chemist for a bumper load of prescription and non-prescription items. I've been joking with C that the chemist is where I spend all my money these days! But seems better than spending it all on pot.

Above all, I'll need some more sleep, and will get back to that very shortly. Maybe time for one more message between us if you'd like that though.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's an unwell person with the issues @Mazarita and something that has significantly impacted the lives of those close to them as they make some less than great choices under the influence. I guess the issue with it is impacting their mood at the moment also as they can't indulge as much as they are used to doing at this time of the year, something they have done to excess for as long as I remember. Thank you for your wishes - I too am really hoping we have a better day today. And like you, I also have some work to do on my own relationship with tobacco, and probably caffeine, so I get how tricky it can be to kick a habit!

So great to hear about the beach and the videoing 😊 I don't eat bbq as I don't do meat but I do enjoy bbq company and having test cricket on it the background, so hopefully it'll be a good one, or one with good.

Hope you sleep well. Again big go you! Reading that letter was a fun and lovely way to wake up this morning ❤❤❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Ah, I see, unwell person is the one with the issues, as well as the illness, @CheerBear. I imagine that might have made growing up in your family difficult at times (perhaps an understatement). Here's hoping for a better mood, or at least better handling of it in themselves, for the rest of the time you are there.

Thanks for reading that message, CB. Glad I was able to finally share the success of my 'big self-care project' with you.

Nightie night now (in the day).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita. Lovely to share your woohoo with you! (And will happily read any message/rave shared!)

Night night 😊❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just a quick hello to anyone around at the moment before I go back and catch up on posts. Hello!!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth 🙂👋 Wondering how you're going this morning and hoping you have had a nice start to the day ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth @CheerBear and a huge WTG you for @Mazarita. Big decisions are not always easy to make and even less able to follow through with so all power to you Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning everyone

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Zoe7 and @outlander. Nice to see you both. How are you this morning?
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