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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, good morning, sweet pea.

Feel like a chat?

You seem to be up extra early this morning. It's getting to that time when @CheerBear might arrive too.

In any case, hope your day is great. And, if you are back to sleep now, sweet dreams.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Good morning Mazzy 😄 yes I am up insanely early for me these days and yes I am going to try and get back to sleep. Say hi to CheerBear for me if she gets up. I am off to bed now. Love greenpea xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice to see your 'face' briefly this morning anyway, @Bunniekins. Sleep well now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita 🙂

I was up at silly o'clock, a little before you posted here, but last night I made myself stay in bed with my phone away. Eventually I fell asleep and have woken up with an extra couple of hours of sleep because of it 🙂

Wondering whether you might still be up and how your boxing day was?

Hi to everyone who might come by 👋🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @Exoplanet, this forum 'letter' is just for you. Haven't responded at any length to your posts for a while. The middle of night gives me a clear enough headspace, and a quiet time to do that.

It really made me happy that your xmas day was so much brighter than you anticipated, with warm feelings of connection with others in your real life. Great that the weather turned on such a friendly face too for the once-a-year special day.

How amazing that the fence contractor rang with an xmas greeting for you, and came around to deliver a bag full of delicous goodies. What a fantastic surprise!

Wonderful that your daughter's gift was something you really appreciate, and that her choice of it showed loving consideration of your tastes (in smell). Even more awesome that she rang back straight away and you also got to speak to all your grandchildren, even the eldest, who seems a bit troubled. If she's anything like I was at the time, she might not care too much about her elders at this time in her life. Hope there was a feeling of connection between you, despite what she might be going through.

Chocolate for breakfast sounds so decadent (and also quite yucky to someone with no taste for chocolate, lol). Mangoes for morning tea and lunch sounds much better, though I would prefer something more substantial in the middle of an xmas day. Lol to your caffeine soft drink party. I can imagine the prunings of a certain herb might be good for you sometimes. From experience I know how enjoyable it can be too.

Speaking of which, I was going to wait until the last day of the year to send news of this to you and to everyone who might be interested. But since you raised the subject, and the end of the year is only days away now: I have been completely off that same herb for five months!

As you might know, this is a major achievement for me, as I have had a serious addiction to it for 20 years, though it's been most troublesome and out of control over the past ten. For someone who would smoke it compulsively morning, noon, evening, and middle of the night (often one every 15 minutes or less), it's a great thing I have been able to finally kick this habit.

I've done it before for five and six months at a time. At those times, once I'd got to that point, I was tempted to have just one jay, thinking it would only be one, and I might be able to moderate my use thereafter. I have done this successfully with alcohol over a long time now, where previous I binged so hard on occasions that I ended up in hospital emergency more than once. These days, quite naturally and without effort, I have come to the point where I have no interest in it at all. It's been six or seven months since I even had a glass of wine.

But in the case of the green, one jay led immediately to complete and utter relapse in each case. I believe I have learned my lesson this time. Though I sometimes get tempted when visiting my friend, and despite the fact that C still likes a daily J or two at home, my smarter brain is being a resolute friend to me, in better judgement and the will to maintaining a permanent abstinence.

I have heard and read very regularly people saying that the green is not addictive really and is easy to give up. My 20 years of struggle with it provide living, walking (and now better breathing) proof of the opposite!

How much better I feel for it is really surprising. My general paranoia about things has reduced to almost nothing. I feel stronger and more confident, with a life far less ruled by incessant worry and fear.

Anyway, that was a detour from replying to your messages, hopefully a good one for you and others to read.

Thanks for your kind words about my mouth pain and problems. The dentist did help, and my additional self care on top of that is helping too. There is still some tenderness and sweelling, but not bothering me nearly as much, and feels like the process of healing is taking its course.

The aircon guy came on xmas eve day, after a truly ridiculous number of text messages between us trying to organise a time, as well as times organised and him just not showing up. I got pretty peeved at one point but decided I'd let it drop when he arrived. I just smiled wide when I saw him and said I was glad he could make it! I even made him a cold drink while he was here. By the end of it his visit we were very friendly, as we have been before.

I think you might be right that a gecko got in there. He really couldn't say for sure what the problem was, but flushed the unit with bleach and gave the filter a good spray of eucalypt. We then left it running for a good hour, by which time the air was smelling sweet. If it returns, I will ring him again and he explore all the hose lines more thoroughly. They are a big job to get into, so best to avoid it if possible. I have a feeling there will be no further problems from here as, even if it was because a little dead creature was in there, the natural process of decomposition should eventually the clear the smell all on its own.

Thanks for noticing the warning bells that have been going on with my lack of sleep, lack of showering, lack of leaving the flat, and obsessive video work. I've been aware of them too. I'm writing this in the middle of the night (actually the first dawn bird has started sounding). I've had three hours sleep but no video-making overnight (except for an email to the producer of the main project I have going just now). I also took a break from it completely on xmas day and also had a shower. Yesterday, I worked solidly on the soundtrack for the main project for some hours. But then went out for a beautiful beach walk, followed by a night of TV (Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon). I think I've got this, though I've been skating on the edge.

Good to hear you keep water cool in a thermos, though one thermos doesn't seem like it would be enough for a very hot day. I remember about your other measures to keep you and the canine family cool. Typically inventive contraptions and devices that work wonders for you, I'm sure. Just maybe you might think about getting another thermos (or two, or more!) when you are next in town. If for no other reason than to put an end to my nagging!

Yes, that lightning bolt seemed like it must have been the loudest one I ever heard, though I only consciously heard its echo when I was woken up. That was loud enough. I too find it interesting that a local village of mostly strangers had the common of experience of waking at the same time on that night.

Interesting too to read of your research about boxing day. Those damn wealthy land owners. I suppose they at least gave their servants the next day off, and presents as well. But still I think, 'damn wealthy landowners'.

Did you finish your mowing?

I too have a pair of those surf shoes. Bought them on ebay a couple of years ago in the hope that they might make it easier for me to walk on the beach, by providing some sort of protection and better support for my feet. I only wore them once. They made no difference and were just an annoyance and they've lived in my cupboard ever since. For your purposes though, they would be perfect. Hope you enjoy wearing them in your muddy puddle! A unique plan for new year's eve!

Well that was a long one! Feels good to get one off to you after some time. Hope the day after boxing day is kind to you, in weather and in spirit. Lots of love to you always, Mazzy

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Perfect timing, @CheerBear, just as I was finishing up my vast long rave to @Exoplanet! Yesterday was really good, thanks. How was yours?

Good that you resisted the temptation to come on the forum when you woke earlier. I need to take a leaf from your book! Getting more sleep seems a very good thing for a busy cheerbear. Makes me happy to hear.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sleep is a great thing @Mazarita. So are forum chats when serious sleeplessness happens too though 🙂

My yesterday was not as good as I'd hoped. Things were pretty tense around unwell one and I found myself really tired and a bit over it all by the end of the day. The day ended with a few of us quietly sitting in the lounge room having a good chat which was a nice turn.

Wondering if you ended up seeing the beach yesterday?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad to hear a not-so-pleasant day turned into a nice quiet group chat at the end of it, @CheerBear. Yes, I got to the beach yesterday, it was lovely. I mentioned it in my rave to exoplanet, which I really want you to read, as there's some news in there too that you might find interesting. It's about the 'self-care' project I mentioned months ago but left shrouded in mystery at that time. You were very curious about it then, so I think you might be interested to read about it now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I just read your letter @Mazarita with a huge smile on my face the whole time! Huge go you with what is an enormous achievement! I had read that you enjoyed it in the past, but didn't pick up on how much it could be a part of your day. It is so great that you are feeling the benefits of it and it really is an awesome way for you to end the year. Yay you 😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your support on this majorly good thing in my life, @CheerBear. I'm likely to be fishing for congratulations all over the place in coming days as I'm very proud of myself and want to share that vanity with all! Most of all, and even if it's not forthcoming from others, I'm deeply, calmly at peace about something I haven't felt this way about for decades. It's a massive weight off my mind.

I have a feeling @eth and @Appleblossom might also be interested to read that long post I made to exoplanet this morning, as they have been with me a long time while I've been struggling with this major problem.

It is a good way to end the year!

Do you have any plans for today? Hope it's much better than yesterday. Will you be returning home soon?

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