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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope today goes well for you too @eth - lovely to catch you briefly too this morning

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Mazzy 🙂 yes sorry the kidults woke up and wanted mum so now that they are settled into their own things I can get back to doing mine :). I had a lovely day yesterday .... I love it that the kidults are all grown up. No longer are we forced into family get-togethers. Nice and quiet and calm. Funny thing is I don't thin I will become a grandparent anytime soon as the only one of my children who is likely to have kids is in Germany so I will be a grandparent who sends presents and money over for birthdays and Christmas. Just one of those things.

It is a bit like my daughter. She doesn't want children (and she would have to adopt being transgender male to female). When I see photos of her as a little boy I have a touch of sadness as she was a cutie .... but there you go as long as she is happy.

Have a lovely day Mazzy. Love greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins You are inspiring the way you love your kidults unconditionally.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Thanks eth that is a really kind thing to say and I do 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How's today been for you @Bunniekins?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita the first portrait in the article you linked to this morning is exactly the one I was given.

Massage I gave went really well and unlocking all this stuff this morning before that didn't get in the way, or influence the massage at all I think. I was concerned I might be a bit 'out there' and talk too much but it was actually really peaceful and focussed in the physical realm.

Hope your day's going nicely.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth its has been really nice. Very hot here but at least there has been no humidity :). My son2 is going a bit stir crazy but other than that all is good. Did I read it right that your mum is doing okay? I do hope so.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everybody 🙂

I've just looked up what Boxing Day is ? Seems it's when the wealthy land owners would give the servants a gift {the servants were too busy for gifts on xmas day because they were catering for the owners party!!!}, it's also a bank holiday? Hmmmm, it's taken me over 1/2 a century to be able to wind down enough to wonder about it 🙂 Now days, in this country, it seems to be all about sales & shopping. I read today in the news, it brought Sydney traffic into chaos.

It's good to read, that although there were some problems, yesterday seemed to go ok for most here. Now, that one day of the year, is over {Phew!} I still won't go into the big smoke until next year, from my experience it stays unusually busy for a while yet. School kids are on holidays, many people are visiting friends & relatives, travellers are still out in droves 🙂

I might finish mowing the yard this afternoon, I had an inkling of liking the idea of doing it yesterday - but too much chocolate {& food in general} . . . & the fact that it was so peaceful, changed my mind; I've only got a small section in the back corner to go . . . once I do it, it'll all be done 😉

I've come up with a new years resolution! I bought these surf shoes & even socks to go with them, but haven't even put them on yet {got them many months ago} I've got a big puddle in my dam {I still class it a puddle because the staffy doesn't swim in it, he just likes running & jumping in the bid puddle 😄 } I ought to paddle in my puddle while it's still there! I'm a wuss with the squishy mud at the bottom, which is why I got the surf footwear in the first place, I'm thinking the muds just going to suck the little booties, socks & all off my feet - but I am resolved to find out on new years eve 😄 [Hope the puddle lasts that long!!]

Love to all that need or want it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Exoplanet Love your big puddle. But understand reservations re ickiness between the toes.

@Bunniekins They grow and change a lot. It is nice to look at photos and remember them.

@Mazarita I hope your video making i going well. Seems you had a lovely day for Christmas.

@eth There are so many spiritualities floating on the planet. I have been less in touch with Native Indian culture, but this holiday watched a movie, "Mekko" by Sterlin Harjo. It struck me deeply and I researched a little. We do need to bridge cultural differences and be open and human with people we encounter.

I just finished a FInnish movie "21 Ways to Ruin a Marriage". It had the best feeling after watching it. I had moved on from the sad stuff. A Song for Marion was not that good.

Glad your mother did not get too sick. Its an obvious sign and time of stress.

Its great having net to do research @Exoplanet

I had a meal with 5 people today. I know them all a little bit. It was lovely.

My son is home and back into music.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom@Mazarita@Exoplanet@eth@Zoe7@outlander and all who pass by today wishing everyone a wonderful day. As we are getting closer to New Years Eve I am so looking forward to the bringing in of 2019. I have the feeling it will be a good year .... ever the optimist 🙂 xxxx

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