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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Christmas Loungeroom was an inspired idea of yours Zoe7 and I will definitely be there. xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins It was actually a combined effort with @Former-Member after a few people began the discussion at Topic Tuesday so I can't take all the credit for it but happy that it is a safe place for everyone to gather hopefully on the day - I will certainly be hanging out there when I can. Will need to remember to charge my phone so I can log in while I am away from home. It is going to be in the late 20s here on Christmas day so I may not be able to put Toby in his little reindeer costume - would be too hot for him. He was going to be an elf this year but he has definitely outgrown that costume (got it when he was a puppy lol)

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins

Chrissie cake in tin dropped on front door by old friend. I did not mind.

He was welcome to it.

I love the idea of hanging out in our cyber lounge room @Zoe7

There are things I could get very worked up about if I focussed on family etc, but I have also been busy musically, and will be back into it early Jan.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think the cyber lounge will be busy on Christmas day @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone

@Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @Zoe7 @Mazarita @outlander @CheerBear@Shaz51 @TAB and anyone else floating by here today.

@Zoe7 You must be really looking forward to your last day being over, especially as it is fun and festivities today so will probably pass more easily. Have a good one.

@Exoplanet nice that your daughter has thought of you.

Sending everyone peace and calm getting through the next couple of weeks, however you feel about it.

My gifts to my kidults for the grandkids have been delivered, they let me know that, but didn't actually say thankyou. It would be nice to hear that occasionally. It kinda takes some of the pleasure of giving away.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning @eth @Mazarita @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Shaz51 and everyone


@eth a thank you never goes astray and is usually appreciated to here but im sure the littlies will love whatever you picked out.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander I bought a desk for miss 4 1/2 who goes to big school next year, and a

'legionaire' hat for infant in pale blue with dolphins - seemed safe enough. One of the parents is non-binary transgender and they're not announcing the infants' gender so no gender-specific clothes or toys... yep, it's complicated, but I have to accept their choices if I want to be in their lives.

Hope today is one of the better ones for you, I know you have a lot on your plate at the moment (when don't you?!) and the added factor of Pop's decline must be a huge pressure. Really hoping the other adults in your family step up and share his care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

they sound like wonderful gifts @eth im sure she will not only use the desk for school things but when she just wants to colour or draw or paint.
and the hat sounds lovely too, i find it tricky buying for babies as they are both easy and hard to buy for- usually your not trying to please the bub its the parents your worrying about 😕

i gave abit of an update on the rough time thread- second last page but theres no pressure to read it which has abit about pop as well.

how are you going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm ok thanks @outlander A bit groggy this morning - another increase in dose of one of my meds last night. Lots of admin stuff to take care of today, but not in the mood for it yet. Will have a look at your other post shortly.

Do you have much on today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

im glad your ok despite being abit groggy. i wouldnt be in the mood for admin of a morning either @eth
i dont have alot of today, i may need to go to the shops and grab a few groceries though and probably do some more gift wrapping and im mums elf and storage place lol.
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