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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hi eth wishing you well with your mother. Don't know really what else to say except I will be thinking of you and hoping that you survive the experience. Love greenpea xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Aaaaah @eth

That explains a lot about your situation and your mother. It floors me too how women, supposedly caring, can allow such things to happen. It speaks to the depth of their own many confusions about sexuality and gender.

The confusions do not go away with denial they get passed on. It makes sense why you are so loyal to your child regardless of extra difficulties.

My mother did that with my youngest sister when she was 4. I was 15 and had no idea what a pedophile was, but neighbours told me that they warned my mother, who argued she was forgiving him, so the neighbour called the police. It was one in a string of many very confusing events.

A lot of problems arise out of gender issues, religion, and confusions.

It is great you could discuss strategies today. I am guessing a firm, calm approach, without escalating things for the holiday season. Sometimes quiet detachment is a good choice.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Vent away @eth - that is after all what we are here for - to listen (read) and support and if you need to get things off your chest then go for it.

I hope you can get through your mother's visit okay and the strategies you have been working on come in useful - hoping also that you don't need them and the time will go okay.

Hugs and hugs

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thankyou @Bunniekins @Appleblossom and @Zoe7.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Gidday @Mazarita, @eth,@Appleblossom, @Zoe7, @Bunniekins & everyone 🙂

My your a busy bee Mazy Great to hear the inspiration in your words 🙂

When it comes to water tai chi @eth, I'm not to sure about the tai chi part . . . but water sounds very inviting to me today 🙂 {it's around 40 here}

Hope your feeling better @Appleblossom, I feel for your aches & pains, I have a few of my own.

Glad to hear you had a good day @Zoe7 The count down for the time period you have to get through must be closing in now as well, I hope that feels good too.

I hope you & your son are doing well @Bunniekins I received a parcel from my daughter the other day, I will have a gift to open on xmas day 🙂

My heads a bit scattered, I don't think the heat helps, also this season - I don't find it overly silly or even particularly pleasant - I think I find it more lonely.

Love to all the need or want it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Exoplanet Hi Exoplanet don't worry there will be many who will be checking in around Chrissy and Chrissy day. You won't be lonely 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I will be on my own Christmas Day, so def checking in. @Exoplanet @Bunniekins

My son has already eaten the one pressie I got ... ha ha ... What can I say? lol

I am poking my tongue out a lot .. Maybe I am regressing .... ah ... some childish antics

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

One day to go tomorrow @Exoplanet but that is more a moving and end of year lunch, secret santa kind of day - so should be pretty easy to get through. We will probably be finished up quite early after lunch so will be able to get nhome early too.

I hope by being here with us you feel just a little less lonely

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@AppleblossomI am really happy that you, Exoplanet and others will be around that means I will be in good company at Christmas :).

What did you son eat? My two kidults have eaten the gingerbread house which my mental health nurse bought us in one afternoon :o!!

I like this poking out your tonge 😛

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Exoplanet I will be checking in over the next couple of days and definitely on Christmas day as well come over and join us in the Christmas Loungeroom - where we can all hang out together and keep each other company. It is a good place to check in also around this time of year and somewhere central that everyone can feel connected no matter what type of day they are having or expect to have.

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