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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

If anyone could make me like tofu, it's probably you, @eth. Mixed in I might be able to come at.

Sleep continues to be an issue for me, though I'm kind of more going with the flow of it at the moment, however it happens. At least I'm not staying up all night (and sometimes into the next day) as I used to. Haven't done that for many months now, which is pretty amazing since it was a pattern for me over years. Similar thing here with sleeps that last about two hours mostly before I wake again. Sometimes if I'm lucky like last night, I get three hours in one chunk. Six or seven naps in a night is really hard going for you. I seem to remember the new meds were trying to help you with that?

How did you feel about the bus trip?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita With the bus trip I was feeling on high alert about missing my stop, looking for landmarks and sitting in the front seat near the driver. SW stood beside me. The SW I have on tues and wed is really good at getting between me and any potentially triggering people. There was a guy who was off his tree further back in the bus, the sort of person who makes me get close to panic and want to flee, but I didn't because I had her with me. Don't know how I'd handle that if I was by myself. But overall it did feel like quite an achievement and something I want to work on.

Yesterday in the supermarket a guy walked really close to me and was saying something aggressively about being psycho and freaked me out, but the sw got me away from him and kept reassuring me that the guy was probably talking to his 'voices' and not to me. Honestly sometimes I feel like I must have magnets for strife. I did panic and it took a while to calm down.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good that you have a support worker who knows how to deal with those situations for you, @eth. The suburb where I live used to be notorious as a down and out kind of place, but is now in the process of gentrification. The mental health centre I go to is in this area for a reason, as there are still a lot of visibly troubled people on the streets and there's a super-Centrelink here. I too am unnerved by some of the men in particular, but, as your support worker said, I kind of recognise that they are mostly talking (or shouting) to themselves. Still it's an edgy experience and I avoid eye contact mostly, but am usually okay aside from that. I also used to live in the 'red light district' in the big city I lived most of my life in down south (and the bigger one in between when I was there too). So I guess I have lots of experience of mostly being able to deal with that kind of stuff. I also used to feel like I was some sort of magnet for people with very troubled personalities on trains and public transport. Most times I'd be able to even make a bit of conversation if it got to that, but, again, not an easy experience, because unpredictable. It's also much more unnerving when I'm in a depressed or especially anxious place within myself, which is when I tend not to leave the flat.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I do @eth - sometimes the art of conversation is knowing when to take a step back also.

I have been to the shop and now back to do planning - I needed that break for myself also.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I avoid eye contact too @Mazarita and I think the urge to flee is a slight improvement on the freeze response. I've lived in those type of areas too and there's an element of it where I live and shop now too. I've started going to another suburb to shop, but that still happened there yesterday. I guess the truth is there are all sorts of people everywhere and I need to toughen up but it's not easy for me. I really admire your independence and the way you challenge yourself and broaden your horizons steadily.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. Heartening to be validated for efforts. I appreciate it. On my side, I admire your resilience in getting this far with the NDIS, which is something so clearly helpful for you now. For me, it's mostly about trying to expand the 'envelope' of my life in small increments, until that becomes more like what I am used to doing within a larger comfort zone. There are ups and downs with it, of course, and I find the recovery I'm intellectually seeking is not always the kind that arrives. But, as with other stuff, I am trying to go with the flow a bit more with things lately, instead of trying to control too much and worry too much when I am not meeting my own expectations.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks to you too @Mazarita

Yes life is a constant balance between being in control and going with the flow isn't it?

I'm going to head off-line shortly. It's been really nice getting to connect with you and @Zoe7 this morning.

Even on the forums I'd like to expand my horizons somewhat, and have a few tabs open on threads I want to respond in, but words just haven't been flowing this week.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You too, @eth, really glad we've been able to connect for a longer chat again today. Hope your day unfolds well from here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

There are always times like that for all of us @eth when we can't find words. Go easy on yourself and just do what you can do - those futher connections of more threads will come when the time is right for you

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes very hot here today again @Mazarita

we worked this morning -- ouch , having the afternoon off again

yesterday a storm came and kept on going , no rain , only thunder and lightening

I don`t think i can handle the heat like i used to anymore

Hello @Zoe7, @eth, @outlander, @Appleblossom, @Exoplanet xx

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