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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 hope you've had a restful and not too hot afternoon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

oh no @eth, I just looked at the clock , I have been on the forum for 2 hours without getting up

have to get up and make a cuppa

@Mazarita, @Zoe7, @outlander, @Appleblossom

I have been keeping @Jupiter busy xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 I cant cope with heat as well as I used to.

@eth Good to see you in real time. Bummer losing long thoughtful posts. No worries.

Re places of living. I have lived in those type of areas. On train had a Melbourne Grammar boy rolling his eyes at our suburb, but I think he was high. SOmetimes I dont want to talk, but just be in my own world, or read, or learn some lines.

A quiet day here.

Cheers All

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and good to see you too @Appleblossom. I was just sorting out a bill so sorry if I missed you. I think you're very brave using public transport as much as you do. It might seem like a small thing but to me it's huge. I haven't been independently mobile for nearly 2 years, except for using a Shebah cab a few times until their app stopped working properly. And when I reverted to doing those things with a support worker instead of by myself it was a huge relief.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am more frightened of driving stress and possible accident. Even yesterday I was next to a group of 4 young men speaking Arabic. There was no interaction but I did not feel unsafe. I had just seen the first movie by a female director in Saudi Arabia called Wadjda.

I listened to the musicality of the language and did not detect aggression. I looked at them a few times, but neither stared or avoided.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning to all here 🌞

I've been up for a little while but had a few solid hours of sleep before hand which was great. I've been thinking of you @Mazarita while I watch the world wake up.

I wanted to call by to say hi to everyone and to wish you all a good day ahead. I hope your big adventure day today is really good for you Mazarita. Thinking of you 🖤

A bit of a busy morning ahead for me but some fun on this aftrnoon/evening with the kids and I planning on pulling out and clearing any creepy crawlies off, all the December things we have to make the house magic feeling. I can't believe how quickly it's come around!

❤ to all here

🌈

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone. Hope today has started gently and is looking good. Best wishes for success to all who have plans.

I've a list of things to do before next Wednesday when my friends come to stay for the night, but no pressure to get them done today.

Having a meeting with my NDIS plan manager at 2.

Have fun decorating with your kidlets @CheerBear

Hoping your day goes to plan @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, everyone. Only a couple of hours sleep so far overnight. It's now close to 3.45am. Yesterday was a breakthrough day for me, a huge one, a good one. As I knew would happen, I am pretty exhausted in the wake of it. But it feels like it was worth the buildup, and the comedown and exhaustion I'm experiencing now. I'm hoping to do it again before too long.

The bus journey to the country town, which I did for the first time ever, was enjoyable in itself. I took one bus from where I live to the endpoint of the bus route. From there I took another bus to the country town. This second journey, which is about 30-40 minutes by car but longer in the bus, cost me $2.50 return! That's cheaper than what it costs to go one way from here to the next suburb in this city, about 2km away! If I hadn't met a nice woman who I chatted with at the bus stop, I would have paid for two single fares, about $7.20, which I still thought was cheap. But the woman I was chatting with told me about this special cheaper fare. It pays to talk to people!

On that second part of the trip, out of the city, the bus wound around green landscapes and tiny towns. This area of Australia is one of the most beautiful I've ever been, with soft hills and green valleys, and a wide glistening river that I kept seeing from different angles as the road intersected it, and then left it, and then met up with it again.

.....

My rave was just interrupted by what sounded like gunshots! Possibly on the street out the front of the building, or on the highway just a little further away! It's stopped now. I reported it to police online, as there was a recorded message at the local station. After taking a bit of a breather from how unnerving that was to hear, things are okay with me personally, so I might get back to the rave!

.....

My friend in the country town met me at the bus stop and we went back to his place, which he currently shares with another writer I've met but not really chatted with before. He was there too but kind of doing his own thing when we arrived. My friend made us both a toasted sandwich, with cheese, tomato and various salad items, drizzled with olive oil. He is into alternative and ayurvedic medicine, and so the brewed coffee he made us had cardomon in it, which he said is more soothing to the gut than straight coffee.

Since we first met about a year and a half ago, aside from collaborating creatively, we've shared quite a lot about our health struggles, so he knows about my Crohns disease. I have even been able to be quite open with him about my mental illness and he has shared with me about the depressions he has experienced. While eating lunch, we had a deep conversation too about the death of one each of our parents, and other relationships we've had in our lives. He is quite an intense person in his inner world and thoughts (not surprising given his writing, which I relate to a lot). By contrast he is calm, slow and relaxed in his movements and physical manner.

Despite the length of time we have known each other now, we haven't actually met that many times that I feel I know him well yet. It often takes me a long time to feel more relaxed with new friends, and to develop trust. Even then my social relations can feel shaky and insecure, even after a long time, even decades sometimes. In fact it's possibly the case that I never really feel free of insecurity and anxiety in friendships at all, though it does lessen over time. But still, it does feel good to have this friendship and collaboration growing at its own pace. I do really appreciate this man.

After lunch, we watched the three videos I made from my friend's book launch last Sunday: one of him performing his writing, one for his writer friend who also performed, and one for the musician who was another part of that day. That went okay and they were appreciative of what I've done, but I was disappointed in the tech aspects. I was hoping to be able to plug the USB into a TV, but theirs is so old (and mostly unused, I think), that we ended up, all three of us, watching the videos on a small laptop screen on the floor, hooked up to a dinky little speaker. My disappointment with that was probably the low point of the day, but I got over it.

I've previously met my friend's other writer friend and current housemate on a few occasions but really not had a chat. At one point he and I had a good short conversation on our own and exchanged contact details. He seems a lovely person too, and I admire his writing as well.

After that, my friend took me around to another friend's place, a woman I've met and chatted with before also. She runs a little gallery from a large downstairs space she has in her house. She's just opened a sculpture exhibition there and I wandered around that for a while and she and I talked about the works. The pieces were just the right size for a boutique gallery like the one she has going, mostly made out of recycled materials like big seed pods that were sculpted into wonderful forms with thin tangled wire, a stark contrast of materials. Another artist repurposed roadkill in her pieces, including echidna quills, snake skins, bark and feathers. The third made figures that were recognisably human from old pieces of wood, with rope knots for eyes, nails for hair, and the like. All three artists in the show were women from the local area.

My friend left me at the little gallery to chat with the owner for about 45 minutes, during which time we talked about a possible screening of the kind of video work I do in that town. I was already planning to put together a single session of videos like this next year, of work by other video-makers I know, and including one of mine. The little videos would be from Australia and overseas (I know people online overseas who make videos like mine too). I had been thinking I might be able to send the program out to small screening venues in different parts of Australia, if I can sort out making contact with the right people via email. The written word is my best form of communication and far less daunting to me than meeting people in person, so I have been planning to do most of this project online, slowly and calmly, spreading out the work on it over the whole year, so I don't get overwhelmed.

But this gallery woman is interested in it too, and we may end up doing it at her little gallery next year, as a first port of call, if we can source some video projection equipment. Talk of this was all very exciting!

Then it was time to go. The four hours I spent down there flew! Back on the bus through the winding landscape to the city. My second bus home was already at the bus stop when I arrived so it was an immediate connection. Just as I was about to arrive home, a woman I have known in small encounters for several years got on the bus. She is a friend of my close friend up here, who I have mentioned a lot in this discussion thread. When she got on, I only had one stop before I had to get off, so we didn't get much time to chat. But it was really nice to run into her and we gave each other a hug, as we always do when we meet.

What a huge day! A good day. Something I would like to repeat if possible.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita what a wonderful day you had. And you sound really inspired for new ventures and development of new friendships. Hope you've had or are having some more sleep. I can see how all the stimulation of yesterday could have kept you awake into the wee hours. And your bus journeys sound like such a pleasure too. Go you!

Hope the noise you heard turns out not to be what you thought. Maybe a car backfiring? How unsettling. That sort of thing makes me hypervigilant so I hope you're feeling calmer by now.

Hi to everyone else passing by here today. Hope it started gently and is looking promising.

I have a support worker this afternoon and plan to go to the drop-in centre gym to use the rowing machine and then pick up a few things at the shopping centre nearby. Not sure yet what else to do in the time. My current meds are leaving me groggy and lethargic a lot of the time the last week or so (another increase in the hopes of better sleep, which isn't happening yet). So it's hard to think of activities out and about that I feel like doing. Hopefully the sw will have some ideas.

I'll be around for a while this morning if anyone wants to chat. @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @outlander @Exoplanet @Sophia1 @Faith-and-Hope @PeppiPatty

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth I am having a rest and housework day - probably more rest than housework though lol

I get that feeling with meds making you feel lethargic but still not sleeping well at night - I went through months of that with other side effects also - but it was worth it in the end to get to where I am now - hope it is the same for you.

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