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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander Thank you for your words of encouragement - there is a lot to think about over the next few weeks.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

i can imagine there would be but youve got us here supporting you as much as you need @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone, just this one late night post before I head towards bed. Hope everyone sleeps as well as possible tonight.

Especially want to thank you, @Appleblossom. I really appreciate your acknowledgement of the energy I put in here. Of course, so many other members do as well, and it's all of us that make the forum great. But I do feel validated by what you said, and that you observed my posts and replies in that way.

I also believe strongly, as @Zoe7 mentioned, that the forum works best when we feel free to engage without obligation here, at whatever level we are able to or want to, which changes with time and what's happening in our lives. Giving support, receiving support, being ourselves in whatever way we express that: all of these things make the forum a wonderful virtual village, and one that has been a lifeline to many, including myself, over years.

@Exoplanet, always good to hear from you. Love always from me to you.

@Shaz51, the heat sounds dreadful where you are, and I know it would be so humid too. We have aircon here as I speak, the first time this season. It was hot, windy and humid today, though about 10 degrees cooler than where you are. Lucky I don't live where you are. My sweat glands couldn't take it!

@outlander, wasn't able to respond when you left your message asking how I was earlier today. I ended up crashing out of most things I planned to do today and slept a lot of the day. Needed it after running on very little for some days. I used to be able to do that more when I was younger. These days it very quickly takes a toll. Didn't leave the house but finished my three videos from the event I went to on Sunday, made some phone calls and organised things for my mum to get some social support where she lives a couple of states away from me. So, even though I didn't get out, and slept a lot, it was still a productive day in other ways. Hope life is treating you as kindly as possible. Sending hugs, as always.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes Yes Yes @Mazarita

Right from the beginning you were very clear and socially aware in your posting, where I was all over the place. I noticed it but had to get a whole lot fo stuff out of my system, before I could relate more relaxedly or socially to others on the forum. I would try reach out to everybody, but having positive rapports was new territory for me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita You had a busy day yesterday so hope you slept well afterwards. I love reading your words here - as @Appleblossom has also said - you take so much time to respond to everyone and your words are always positive and insightful. We definitely all have our own styles and needs in respect to the forum but they all combined make this a great community to be part of - the underlying sense of empathy abounds and that makes it a special place to be part of.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning @Mazarita and everyone

You did have a productive day even though you needed to catch up on some sleep- which is perfectly fine!.
are you still judging the video competition or has that finished now?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

l just tagged everyone here and typed a long response to each of the people who've tagged me in the last couple of days - and then somehow deleted it. Can't find it anywhere. And the undo option didn't work either. So frustrating. I'm just not up to doing it all again. Just know that I'm thinking of you all and hanging out for some interaction here. And following what's happening with you all. And grateful for the tags.

@Mazarita @outlander @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Exoplanet @CheerBear @Bunniekins @PeppiPatty @Sophia1 and anyone else around today. Hope it's going well so far. Today's a rest day for me, gradually getting on top of cleaning my cabin more thoroughly than I normally do in readiness for my friends who will stay the night next Wednesday. Will be around to chat if anyone wants to.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey, @eth. We meet at last!

Frustrating indeed that the post has disappeared. I would also feel disappointed in some way. But glad you are here and that there might be time for a real life chat.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth I am planning bits and pieces for tomorrow - a few things to tidy up but can do that as I chat here as well. I have a few things to get done today including the mowing and a little shopping later but bith can wait until this afternoon. I have decided not to go to the pool today but I am ok with that decision - I need time at home for myself today as I have been out for several days in a row now and spending time at home with my babies is what relaxes me the most.

It is good you are having a friend stay over Wednesday - that will be good company for you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita great to see you. You too have been really busy and resting in between lately it seems. Sounds like you've had a really productive time and been getting out more than usual. Hope we can talk without too much delay, but now my internet seems to be fluctuating. So if I drop out that will be why.

Hi to you too @Zoe7 hope you're feeling a bit better having made the decision to soldier on for the last few weeks at work, and then to explore options for moving on. I think it's a good idea - what with your boss's nitpicking and your Mum at the same school it doesn't sound like it's good for you to continue on there. Hope you don't mind me saying so.

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