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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi girls,

I get annoyed that I miss people's names out but just know that I love you all.

@eth @Former-Member

@Appleblossom @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The forum has seen many people over time. Dont worry so much. I know you try and care. @PeppiPatty

@Zoe7

I can understand why you feel you lost the weekend.

You are still doing the DBT. I am still interested in your thoughts, experiences etc.

It has not been reccommended for me, and I would find it a bit rich to pay out extra for it to support an American's copyright when I have been diddled by a couple of that grand nationality. Still there are 3 lovely ladies hailing from said continent in my choir so I am happy to interact with them but keeping expectations low with minimal self revelation. I think this is what is called social learning. ?? I did not keep making repeat mistakes without at least trying to put one and one together. It has taken me a while to put ALL the social one and ones together ... a completely different task to arithmatic.

Oh well ... live and learn ... eventually.

Re DBT so many of the ideas have been around for yonks ... it has been medicalised ... and therefore monetised ... I am concerned that the expectations of the course givers is a bit skewed. Ie Some have probably done less work on themselves than some of the older attendees.

@Mazarita has a lot on too. Hi Bella and Good Luck.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am an out patient for DBT therefore my private health covers the cost @Appleblossom I definitely wouldn't be doing it otherwise. I can see real benefits for some members here if they could have the same access to the content. It has been most beneficial for me in the social connections I have made - the content itself I could also get from the myriad of books, websites, apps that are around but that face-to-face exposure has been what has worked for me. It did take me nearly 3 months before I was comfortable enough to speak more than a few words - that also was very relient on the make up of the group - which changed between modules. The gruop itself now is a nice group where no-one dominates and everyone is listened to actively. It does help that the facilitator is skilled at her job and is very well versed in the ins and outs of the content - she was initially taking a back seat for someone else learning to take the course but that person is no longer there and that has also helped. The facilitator has a trainee psychologist with her but he seems to know his stuff too so it works well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you for that personal reply about DBT. @Zoe7

Early in my time on the forum someone almost abruptly scolded me saying that DBT was gold standard treatment end of story. I did a little research and am still interested, but also interested in ALL the therapuetic modalities.

Social contact is important. Face to face gives as such a lot of extra information about how people process things or what they believe AND who we can eventually trust. When I was young, I was usually in positions were I was forced to trust without going through an initial sifting process.

Today my osteopath of 15 years told me she was suprised at all the things I have done, as she thought when she first treated me that, I would never work again. It has taken me aback in a reality testing way. I had also been teaching her colleagues' son. I would drive myself mercilessly. I am gentler on me, now, lol... since writing "gently bently" to everybody on here. Getting the balance right is a lifelong job.

Have a good day ALL who pass by ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Sometimes we surprise ourselves at everything we can and do achieve - especially when we doubt ourselves so much. It is great to see that you have broken out of what others have expected of you too and that makes those achievements all the greater.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Having a good facillitator is very good isn't it @Zoe7

@Appleblossom I always ALWAYS like talking to you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Having a good facilitator is essential in a group setting for DBT - and our group can easily get way off track lol - it is a nice group we have though @PeppiPatty

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @Appleblossom hi @Zoe7

You write this:

Today my osteopath of 15 years told me she was suprised at all the things I have done, as she thought when she first treated me that, I would never work again. It has taken me aback in a reality testing way. I had also been teaching her colleagues' son. I would drive myself mercilessly. I am gentler on me, now, lol... since writing "gently bently" to everybody on here. Getting the balance right is a lifelong job.

Have a good day ALL who pass by ...

I absolutely loved writing to you when you first started. I always looked forward to you, it was like we both were fixing something up if you know what I mean........

I better go though because I have crochet to do and a flat to clean and a support worker to talk to......

xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good to see you @PeppiPatty sorry i missed your previous msg though!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My heart did a little dance every time I read your posts. @PeppiPatty

My heart really needed to DANCE.

@Zoe7

Glad you are in a good DBT group in safe hands.

@outlander @eth

@Mazarita saw your chat with CB. Hope today has been good.

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