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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 The music night was terrific. I just stayed by my brother all evening and the crowd wasn't too scary. The music was raw and gutsy, lots of balads sung from the heart, all original. Then took my meds late and woke up really groggy but needing to be ready to hit the road early. 2 days at the farm were working bees but I mostly just washed dishes (20+ people so lots of them) and helped in the kitchen. Spent a bit of time harvesting the garlic crop with 2 other people. Camping was good, but my mattress was inadequate and my hips woke me up lots of times. It too was a nice crowd and I didn't feel too awkward. It was easy to be a fringe dweller!

Hope you've had a quiet weekend and that your half day at school goes better for you today.

I'm going out with a support worker to water tai chi again, then a couple of things to do at the shopping centre, and taking lunch with me so will find somewhere nice to eat. Hoping we can access the beachfront by now, that the supercars infrastructure has been removed.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It sounds like despite a few issues that the weekend went well @eth and you enjoyed the gig

I am not working today but need to get a lot done after the pool - hoping the swim will wake me up and give me a bit more energy for this afternoon. It will depend on how many are there and if there is enough room to relax as well as do my exercises. Enjoy water tai chi today

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oops @Zoe7 I keep thinking it's Monday! Hope you make it to the pool today and get all your other stuff done.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

haha @eth It is definitely Tuesday - you must have had a rest day yesterday lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes I did @Zoe7 stayed in bed a couple of hours longer than usual and spent a couple of hours chopping fruit for M's Christmas pudding but that's about all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We all need easy days like that sometimes @eth Even though this afternoon will be a really busy one for me I am relaxing this morning - need to recharge a little and the pool will hopefully help with that.

My sister''s partner's family is coming down from Melbourne for christmas so it will be a nice gathering at her place. Las time they came down it was a really nice day but the kids are grown a lot now so that will be a little different. We went over to their place a few years ago and the last 2 years we had christmas at my place - mostly so I didn't have to travel anywhere and I had more time to organise things so it will be nice this year going somewhere else. I will still take Toby though lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 We'll have at least a dozen people here for Christmas from the evening before until boxing day. Including my mother - which will be a major challenge for me. I've had almost no contact with her since September when she accused my adult child and her partner of child abuse. For a different philosophy in their approach to parenting due to adult child being transgender. What she said (mum) was just so outrageous I stopped all contact with her. It brought up so much from my past and was completely hippocritical of her. I could rave about the details but choose not to right now. I have visited adult child and their family including new baby since then and remain convinced they are actually wonderful parents. Dedicated and loving and totally protective of their children.

I better sign off now as I'm going out at 11.30.

Hope the swim refreshes you and the rest of the day goes smoothly.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That all sounds so tough to have dealt with @eth but we can't control others misguided opinions or thoughts but only go on what we can see ourselves and your family seem to be loving and caring parents and that is what matters.

I better head off soon myself and get resdy to go. Enjoy you afternoon @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 You are right about REST days. Funny how we do lose a few days when overwhelmed.

@eth I am glad you had a wonderful weekend despite it being exhausting. We need a few peak times to punctuate the mundane. Good on you for all the socialising and buzzing around the edges of the working bees ... It sounds like a generation gap with you as the bridge between your mother and your adult child. In our world where change is so fast and diversity so large. It is both difficult and sad. I have often been in the bridge position. I hope both of them learn to bend a little.

Hey @PeppiPatty Lovely to see you.

@Shaz51 @The-red-centaur

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I feel like I lost the whole weekend this past weekend @Appleblossom so treating this morning as a rest time for me was necessary. I do have a lot to get done at home before DBT, pdoc and GP tomorrow but will take it gradually and just do what I can. Thursday will be mostly a planning day for me and then hopefully an early night before my whole day at work on Friday.

How was your time alone with your son being out with his friends?

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