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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

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Re: A long rave

👍 @eth .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry I disappeared there @Zoe7 I was listening to music by Mojo Juju and Nasty Mars who I'll be seeing live on Friday night. Fantastic!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's ok @eth I'll have to check out the music myself - haven't heard of them. I hope you enjoy the night Frdiay night.

I will be heading off in about half an hour to get to the pool. It is quite cool outside today but the pool is warm at 32 degrees so will be like getting into a bath today

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just checked out some of the music - really like it @eth - you may have me hooked now

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I saw Mojo Juju once before @Zoe7 at a festival in the top end. Their live show is so full of energy and the music really tight - brilliant. Haven't seen the other one before but sil sent a link to some tracks and they sound good. Excellent lyrics, which I always enjoy.

Hope you make it to the pool today. I go to a heated pool for tai chi. I still can't do cold water after living in the top end for 17 years!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Tai chi in the pool would be awesome - love both those things but having them together would be perfect @eth I better go and get ready for the pool - will catch up with you later - have a great afternoon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

I have water! 🙂 Well, I never didn't have water, my tank is choko-block full actually :), it was just a little difficult to access - well now it is accessible in my kitchen & bathroom & Houston . . . we have pressure 😄 Though I did melt the switch off the pump, it was a switch that I'd put on & I'm now wondering whether said switch was part of the problem in the first place? With the system the way it was I felt I needed to be able to turn the pump off. I had a situation where I'd been hoeing away the grass up against the house, where the mower didn't get it & I accidently got the water inlet pipe . . . & water starting peeing out! I turned the tap off at the tank, but the pump had no switch, these little 12v pumps don't have an on/off switch, & it was desperately trying to pump in such a way it was going to burn it's little motor out - I ended up getting into it's wiring & disconnecting it. That wasn't satisfactory for me, so I bought a little switch online & put it in place. {I also by-passed the plumbing into the house & connected a garden hose directly to the pump, leading to my back door, where I put a 'T' piece in & 1 end goes into my kitchen & the other goes to my bathroom. I don't really get all those pipes inside the walls - you can't see any leaks! My system, from the very start at the pump, to the very end of the hose, I can see any leaks 😉 } I did notice, when I was putting the new pump in, that the electrical tape I'd used to seal the connections of the switch, was a little sad. I should have tended to it, but I was pretty frantic really, about getting my water situation back under control & didn't. But having now by-passed that nightmare 12v system & having 1 lead directly connected to the pump & I put clamps on the other end {like giant pegs, really easy to put on & off} to attach to the battery terminals - there's no need for a switch, I can just undo the clamps at the battery; & 'touch wood' it's been about 24hours & nothing's blown up yet 😄 Woo Hoo! Feels like a win 😄

Love to all that need or want it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Evening @Mazarita @CheerBear @Faith-and-Hope and all
Wondering how your going tonight?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Another day here of waking up super tired, with a terribly dry mouth and very bloodshot eyes, hardly able to keep my eyes open. Today was probably the worst one like this all week. This feeling that's been with me day after day just recently has seen me cancelling all appointments and failing to following through on any plans since Sunday. In addition, the usual not leaving the flat and sleeping most the day routine has set in. That's why I haven't been on the forum all day. I may have 'supported' some posts, can't remember, brain has been foggy too.

In the midst of this, I've been on the phone the past days with my elderly mother down south. A friend of hers died a few days ago and she was very down about it. The circumstances of the man's death were sad too, especially that he has no family aside from a niece interstate, who is not even coming down to sort things out, instead hiring some people to clear out his flat. Neither will there be any kind of memorial. Mum said it was like he was an invisible person. However, some of the people at the pub where they both played pokies for years are going to get together next week over drinks and nibblies to celebrate their friendship with him.

Even prior to this sad event in her life, she had been struggling with some depression. She suffered a very bad night during which she was kept awake all night looking back over her life, with her own thoughts attacking her, bringing up a stream of bad memories that made her feel she has done nothing good with her life. So far from the truth. She was a dedicated nurse for decades working with people with quadriplegia, cerebral palsy, MS, the elderly, and the dying. We have had a difficult relationship earlier in our lives, but we have reconciled to a huge extent as we have got older, and there are so many wonderful things I could say about my mum.

Anyway, for once I felt like I had something real to give her, in the way of emotional support, through my own long lived experience with depression. She has no-one else that she can talk to about things like this, except her GP, who is great, but not a personal relationship such as we have. She went to see him after our first long conversation and they discussed anti-depressants. It would be the first time she has ever taken medication like this, and she is taking her time to think about it, and seeing if she can sort things out a bit more on her own. I'll be ringing her more often from now on as it did help her quite a lot to get things off her chest with me. She's usually one to brush over things like this. I was glad she let her well-honed 'happy' mask drop, and let me know what was happening.

I won't tag anyone in this post, as it somehow seems too weird to write replies after what I've said. I have read all the posts up until now though, and 'supported' along the way. I am hearing what everyone is going through, either difficult, or positive, or both. I am supporting in spirit, even when I'm not here.

To leave this post on a brighter note, I spoke to my close friend on the phone too today, after waking about 2.30pm. Lately we haven't been seeing each other anywhere near as much as we used to. Anyway, both of us were in the doldrums on the phone. But after speaking to each other, it turned out we both found some energy, and got domestic jobs done that had us both feeling quite a bit better. I don't know what I'm going to be like when I wake up tomorrow, but I'm going to try to get out to see her if at all possible.

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